Bday! (Season Finale)

I was still feeling a little down in the dumps after what transpired in the last episode as read in STUCK IN A DAYDREAM? A seemingly wiry tangled knots of confusion, unexplained tiredness and a sense of feeling lost felt like a negative anchor pulling me down, leaving my soul hungry for freedom and a sense of spiritual upliftment and direction.

 Upon fearing a possible breakdown, I decided to call a friend for moral support and after patiently listening to my cry of woes, heaved a deep sigh and tried encouraging me never to give in to my mood, instead, he dared me to dream and strive to achieve it, going on to task me to branch out of writing for just #Kuwda but also write a work of fiction for sale,

"...You can do this Maj, you're an incredible writer and you've been writing about your day to day life on Keeping Up With D Adagiris and it is such a beautiful write up but why not  task yourself to write a work of fiction for publication, either as a hard copy publication or online for sale? It would go further in cementing yourself as a writer and get people to take you more seriously plus you get to make some bucks from it... Kuwda is dope but people don't want to know just about your family issues, a lot is going on in the world, stories abound that needs telling, write on themes of new issues arising in the world like terrorism, feminism, sexuality, a lot of themes to pick from....think about it Maj, you can do this but unless you try".

The last words of his statement echoed through my brain, tingling my pores and left me ruminating over the idea of writing a book. Several times in the past, I have thought about writing a fictitious story but writing as a craft isn't exactly a walk in the park as other writers would agree and I had gotten way too comfortable writing strictly for #Kuwda that the thought of branching out scares me but I knew in my heart that my friend was right, if I need to get people to take me seriously as a writer, I have to show them my work, not just my work writing a reality blog series so I swore to myself I was going to get to work and prove to myself that indeed, I am a grounded and balanced writer besides I realised that part of the reason why I was in such emotional turmoil as stated above was because I needed money badly and felt like, as a family, we need to have multiple income stream with the recession biting harder and our expenses getting higher and this angered me a lot most especially as my birthday was approaching and from the look of things, nothing yum seems to be in the offing, no whispers amongst my brothers, no secret meetings between my Mom and siblings, their body language lately had suggested no secret plans is being hatched and Mom had been particularly moody lately all because of the gloomy financial state sweeping through the country in the form of recession. I might come off as quite spoilt for saying this but It felt quite scary to spend my birthday with everyone just mouthing a "happy birthday" phrase and nothing more which even added to my woes, leading me to sink further in my angst against everything and everyone thus naturally getting me into spells of throwing tantrums unnecessarily and at the slightest provocation from feeling exhausted and foggy in the brain.

Stuck in a daydream?

- "Give up already...enough of this charade" 

- "What is this? A Kardashian-like show? You can't be serious are you?"

- "You paint a fairy tale with your stories, you are not realistic, no one would be interested"

- " Keeping up with d Adagiris? What the hell? Lol, Maj, please get a job".

 I sat on the bare floor at one corner of my room, looking straight ahead with a pout, dejected and forlorn from being heavily weighed down by depression and worry as I contemplated over my reality blog "Keeping up with d Adagiris" and why I had started it sometime in 2009 as negative reactions I had gotten over time resurrected and blended with new ones people recently hurled at me, all floating freely around my head which were pulling me down, sapping my energy, stealing my joy and igniting feeling of inadequacies towards my posts as I began to dislike my write ups, thinking they weren't good enough despite a few friends calling to assure me they were all amazing and I should rather work on snapping out of my depressive mood fast.

Naturally, I thought they were being nice because they were my friends and turned to my siblings who although love me to bits, would most likely give me their frank assessment of my posts and luckily, they did which gave me some morale boost. "Luckily" because even though my brothers have being generally supportive, their support can be fickle, on and off depending on their mood, especially "off" when we have a fight wherein they give a scathing review of the blog in which sometimes lie a bit of truth but overall, they have been pretty frank and truthful of their appraisal of the blog which leaves me dealing with the haters and gloom predictors whose words sometimes cut deep like a knife and on one of such occasion left me crying in the shower after an online troll made fun of me and the KUWDA blog of being a wannabe and struggling to be a hit since 2009.

A hand of fellowship

A handshake is a greeting, an expression of trust, a mutual guarantee by two people that at least in one hand, they carry no weapon but it can also ensure a measure of distance and convey an articulation of reserve as if its participants are thinking, thus far and no further...in one short sentence, a handshake is not a hug.

The new Matriarch of the Adagiri extended family had come visiting us with the proverbial olive branch in hand to commiserate with us over the loss of our home as read in TSUNAMI but of course, we knew better than to take such words to heart but chose to quietly listen anyway. She prevailed on us to be patient with the family as regards inheritance, knowing now was a crucial time we needed money. Mom was quite surprised as she was typically expecting the Matriarch to rain fire and brimstone on her for daring to get a loan using her late brother's house as collateral, the non-payment leading to the loss of the house even though the house is legally Mom's after Dad's demise. Mom simply nodded and thanked the Matriarch for her concern, she thereafter settled down and engaged us in a bit of chitchat where she learned it was going to be QT's birthday the next day and we had no idea what to do for him...actually, I was the one who let that slip with the hope she would sponsor a treat for him, I blurted out after she asked what we were up to,

"Well, ma'am, we are quite well, obviously trying to cope in light of recent events...we had even made plans way ahead of time to celebrate Qatari's birthday which is  tomorrow but now....it's all gone to cinders with our home gone"

Spine of steel

I was busy with the preparation of food for dinner, chopping vegetables, onions, et al when Karl walked briskly into the kitchen where I was, held me from behind by ringing his arms around my waist, grinding his bulge against my thighs and giving me a peck behind my earlobe as I swiftly turned to look at him, wondering if he was high. His hair tousled beautifully in a bed mess, he retreated from me and asked if I liked it,

"What? Karl? Are you alright? Ofcourse not I didn't like that, you sure you okay?"

Jupiter's cock!

Peter is a rather ubiquitous young lad who's spontaneous and quite fun to be with and a friend of Hamz's.

One chilly saturday morning, after a heavy downpour with droplets of rain still drizzling, Mom went out with QT and Karl to inspect a plot of land which she plans to cultivate into a farmland leaving just myself and Hamz alone at home when Peter, in company of a group of other young guys who are also friends of Hamz came visiting.

 Even though I'm noted amongst my siblings not to get chatty with my siblings' friends, the guys somehow roped me into their conversations and I found my stone cold facial appearance that morning gradually thawing into a cheerful face as I flowed with their conversations and after about thirty minutes of non-stop banter, we all decided to play a game of truth and dare with Peter drafting the game's rules with penalties attached to each rule which were meant to be awkward, uncomfortable and outright embarrassing... Apparently, this looks like it's going to be fun.

The enemy within

"You know...I spoke with my friend mama tahir this evening and she was pouring her heart out to me...about how her siblings and extended family despise her so much despite doing a lot for them, helping them with school fees for their kids, sending food supplies, living expenses, etc, she just can't believe this is happening to her"

Mom said in a conversation with Aunt Hubaida one early tuesday evening about her friend Raliat also known as Mama tahir who is a wealthy cloth merchant in Lagos, to which Aunt Hubaida scoffed almost with indignation and responded,

"Well, one couldn't say exactly what transpired between them as we both weren't present nor hear from the other parties, am sure her siblings must have their reasons"

Mom's eyes squinted, apparently puzzled and asked what Hubaida meant, she responded,

 "It's as I said it because from my own experience, I can tell that sometimes, it's the richer sibling that could be guilty, more often than not"

Mom's facial expression immediately changed from bewilderment to seething fire, she swiftly responded,

The solomon of settlement

Wayne Schubard is a close talker, a lawyer who represents *Dynamo corporations- a fledging  automobile company in the united states already doing quite well in the industry- and who doubles as the company's treasury department executive for compensation and accrued dividends payout, is a white, quite plumpy man in his mid 40s with a fast receding hairline preceding a sparse mop of straight black short hair with a sprinkling of grey locks with lines etched finely by the sides of his eyes and upper cheek bone who starts his sentences about 47 cm from your face and with a rather thick husky voice, leans in to make his point.

This is an unusual trait for a guy who has to deliver the type of news that most of us would prefer to dispense from across the room or better yet, by an email from a do-not-reply address as part of his duties is to fire members of their staff, buy out little company rivals and merge it with *Dynamo automobile as well as stated above, in charge of paying compensation and accrued dividends which is about the only nice part of his job.

"...Dollars are a surrogate for worth"

 He says to us, leaning in as usual, to end a long introductory speech which pretty much was advertising his own skills and expertise at what he does after dismissing a set of family before attending to us.

 "So, you're Habiba Adagiri, am I correct...with... um.. the pronunciation?"

 He said, referring to Mom as he raised his head from a paper he was reading from to look at her then pointing at Nicole, he says he reckons she's Nicole to which she affirms with an emphatic positive nod. Wayne cleared his throat, adjusted his grey jacket and sitting position as he got ready to go into business.

"So your late husband, made some.."

Skirmishes in persia!

It had been a rather tumultuous week for us all... Musa, the agent of the house where we are temporarily putting up in had been constantly harassing us for money, using us as his cash cow. He would smoke weed and get high then come with a group of thugs to harass us to either part with some money or leave the house and quite sadly and reluctantly, we always comply with his demands as Mom always sue for peace by preventing QT, Hamz and Karl from getting violent with them or calling his bluff, the times are hard and it's been pretty difficult having to dole out money to him virtually every week with our heartbeats sent racing as we always have to hurriedly hustle up some cash to meet his demand any time he comes calling.

Recently, Mom was able to get Musa to a sit down to draft an agreement on how much he wants to collect in bulk and for him never to show his face to harass us until the duration of the agreement had elapsed. Thankfully, Garba, our former gate man  arrived just in time to act as interpreter as Musa wasn't well versed in english language nor Mom in hausa. Garba had found it difficult living on his own and securing a steady job with a regular income to support his family in far away Sokoto state so he chose to come back and stay with us, as a mark of loyalty and having a sense of family in our home, despite our condition. Finally, Mom and Musa were able to reach an agreement for us to stay 3 months at a rather substantial amount of money but Mom, through the grace of God was able to pay and we were quite relieved we won't be seeing Musa's face for quite a while.

To blow off steam and let our hair down after a rough couple of weeks, QT had rather unusually suggested that we all go clubbing that night, this is unusually so as QT rarely suggests a fun day or night out and would rather pump steel in the gym. I declined going as I knew Mom won't buy the idea of all of us going out at night and leaving her alone at home... A home that outwardly looks deserted and almost dilapidated, furthermore, she hates the idea of night reveling, so mentioning "club" to her would mean them not  going altogether as she won't allow it. Hamz excitedly declared it was a good idea that I stay with Mom,

 "...After all, you're the sister we never had, so it would be cool that you stay at home with mummy"

Paranoia

Paranoia! It has probably happened to all of us at some point in our lives whilst others deal with it on a daily. It is the irrational fear of being unsafe or a schizophrenic assumption something bad is about to happen to one. I reckon paranoia comes in many forms but mine is usually centered on health.

MAJ- (On the phone)- Hey Tchubs, Am so scared, I have this splitting headache that's making me dizzy, I don't want to take pain relievers cause I learnt they cause liver damage in the long run, I think it's making me dizzy or do you think I'm short on blood?

TCHUBS- *Deep sighs* You're not serious Maj, seriously? You have the solution to your problem right in front of you and you're spitting B.S about the meds causing liver damage? Don't bother me please.... You have issues, Sheesh! 

Nairas, Dollars and Pesewas!

It was around the middle of the ramadan period when news got to us that my paternal cousin, Aunt Wati had given birth to a bouncing baby girl, her sixth and hopefully final child. According to her, her family planning had failed and thus had taken in, so now that she's given birth and being in the middle of the fasting period, the naming ceremony for the tot was postponed till after the fasting period so the ceremony could be fully enjoyed and attendance in full. Aunt Wati is our late Dad's niece, her father, also late is Dad's elder brother and her mother being Mom's sister-in-law with whom in company of other sisters-in-law were bullied for years by their Mother-in-law, now late and former Matriarch of the Adagiri family, the title which has been taken over by her daughter as read in THE DEVIL QUOTES SCRIPTURES.

Soundtrack to my life!

Mood!

Being Maj has been quite the roller coaster of sort...a pot pouri of events, good and bad, occurrences, spontaneous and planned, highs and lows, blows and exhilarations, cries and laughter, life's crosses and reliefs, baggages and freedom, sweats and yields, losses and gains and through every stage and step on this journey, music has being a great part of it all.

Music for me is a form of art of sound in a particular pattern or rhythm capable of steering or evoking different emotion in you depending on how you feel at that moment. It's one of my go-to source for calm, inspiration, excitement and therapy. This post couldn't adequately detail the entire soundtrack to my life but I would try to share a few lessons-in-songs you could take away from my life so far. 

...For mother is supreme!

"...A man belongs to his Fatherland when things are good and life is sweet but when there is sorrow and bitterness, he finds refuge in his Motherland, your mother is there to protect you...and that is why we say that mother is supreme" - Chinua Achebe, (Things fall apart).

A last stroke of makeup brush swept ever so lightly across  her fair cheeks to blend in her dull pink blush and she was ready as she assessed her overall facial makeup in her tiny oval mirror attached to her makeup block powder case to ensure it was perfect,

 "How do I look son?"

 She asked me, turning to look at me, I smiled and spurted out "Flawless" as I thought she was the strongest woman I know. Here she is, in a ramshackle of a house, in a room lacking her usual giant mirror and well placed lighting yet not letting her present situation dampen her soul, she still applies makeup and in lieu of her giant mirror, improvised by using a tiny powder case mirror, still looking high in spirit and ready to go, it made me be in awe of her as in a millisecond, memories of the many times she's  shown incredible strength flashed across my eyes, from  moments as a young child when Dad died and she was put in the midst of her sisters-in-law, her hair disheveled and was emotionally and psychologically tortured yet stood her ground and proclaimed her innocence to raising three boys on her own, enrolling back in school with the determination to change her story and make a success of her life, oh! How I remember the struggle or the memories of us eating low quality meals yet coming out with toothpicks in our mouth acting like we've just had a bountifully delicious meal just as I remember her late night cries when she thinks we were all asleep so we won't see her breakdown and how shocked she was as she shivered upon my hands resting on her shoulders to comfort her..I could go on and on.

Happy new month of july!

Happy new month of July Amazeballs! Wishing you all a month of victorious stories and happy Eid- Fitri in advance to all Muslims Amazeballs worldwide, love you all. Next episodes on Keeping Up With The Adagiris-

Cargo cult mentality

"If someone shows you who they are, believe them"- Maya Angelou.

Mom was slightly taken aback by aunt Hubaida's rather commanding tone, demanding that Mom gives her money for her to feed herself and her kids with and for Mom to include enough money for her kids' transport fare to and from school, my lips went agape in shock and I could literally see teeters of anger gradually creasing its way into QT's face as fines lines etched smoothly by the sides of his eyes but we kept our cool and waited for what would be Mom's response, after all, Hubaida is the daughter of her parents (I intentionally didn't call her Mom's sister). A smirk slowly flashed through Mom's lips followed by a deep sigh whilst shaking her head with her face looking down, she looked up to Hubaida with such a stare like she's a cockroach that needs to be fumigated and calmly but bluntly told her she doesn't have any money to give her,

Do you love to look sleek? (Infomercial)

Do you have a knack for looking well dressed and classy? If you do then I have a package for you that would up your fashion ante everywhere you go. These are lovely well embroided materials already cut and all you need do is get it sewn to your specific measurements! They are uber cool and make you look like an arabian prince and don't you just love the embroidery? These aren't meant for everyone so order yours while stocks last, they are quite affordable and never go out of style. Click here for more pictures

Campaign of calumny

Mom arrived a while later after the policemen and the lawyer et al had left, she was so strong not to have broken down at the sight of her house put under lock and key and her belongings and kids all outside staring dejectedly into space. She assessed our whole belongings and asked if nothing was missing or broken, we shook our heads affirming nothing was missing, Hamz then asked what we were going to do next,

 "Where do we move to Mom?"

Tsunami

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow or sun without rain but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way..If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.

This powerful quote sums up the faith and trust my family and I had in God on this day that eruptions of drama of volcanic proportions exploding in seismic waves into a tsunami barraged through the front door in human clothing that happened to us...it was  a day that was literally earth-shattering indeed!

Sex with simi!

FORWARD- This post contains explicit sexual and erotic content..do read at your own discretion!

Kimmy phase

The morning was bright, the sun was up and seemed to beam in a smile emoticon manner upon the city, its rays red as it gradually simmered up the earth, everywhere was calm and still, the only bits of noise came from a flock of tiny lemon-coloured birds that chirped noisily outside as they hover between branches of trees that swayed back and forth. It must be around nine am, I was busy having breakfast on the dining table, cutting and dipping chunks of bread into my hot tea before moving the soaked loaf into my mouth whilst staring through the window at our compound when QT sauntered by from his room upstairs and playfully tapped me on my shoulders as he's wont to do to say hello, I gently turned to look at him as I took the last bit of bread into my mouth and said good morning with my mouth full, he gave me a warm smirk and pulled a chair to sit with me, staring intently into my face which instantly made me uncomfortable,

 "Wasup?"

I asked, he nodded affirming he was okay, he then sighed and said he needed to get married, the bombshell of a statement hit me unexpectedly some tea got into my windpipe and came through my nose as I stood up aghast with my face down and my mouth open to breath and calm down,

"Do you want to kill me? What is wrong with you?"

Lemonade

Mom beamed happily from ear to ear as she sashayed down the two rows of stairs leading into the sitting room from the dining area, cladded in a gold sequined body-fitting gown which hugged her womanly curves while the dress shone brightly, deflecting rays all over the place on catching the rays of light turned on around the house whilst  holding two glasses of chilled drinks in hand, walking towards her longtime pal from akwa-ibom state, Madam Effiong,

"What's this one oo my friend?"

Madam Effiong asked on sighting the off-yellow pale-coloured drink Mom was handing her, feigning mock alarm as Mom smiled,

"It's lemonade my friend, don't worry, I won't poison you!"

Happy new month of May

That moment when you're all set to take on MAY like a boss! LOL! Happy new month Amazeballs! May this month be filled with love, happiness and success to you and yours! Happy new month! Next episodes on Keeping Up With The Adagiris-

Taking up the gauntlet?

Mom kept screaming, hitting the car seats and vibrating with anger in the back seat of the car on our trip back home, she was livid and embarrassed after what transpired at the new Matriarch's son's wedding as read in WAR OF ATTRITION and it was only natural for her to react that way, Karl who was behind the wheels kept urging her to be calm while I, quietly seated beside her at the back seat, calmly looked on at her, allowing her vent her anger out, she was so emotional and her eyes tearful but obvious she was trying her best to pull herself together.

War of attrition

War must be!...Whether between countries , states, individuals or even families, this is part of life and while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all which is instinctively essential but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

What better way to introduce this post than a poetic way which aptly sums up our perennial extended family drama.  More often than not, everyone knows the beginning of a war but not all knows the ending, am not exactly a fan of drama especially when it involves family but dramas are a part of life aren't they? And when it is within a family...it is called war...a war of attrition.

Get the world's thinnest laptop (Infomercial)

HP has launched the new spectre notebook which is dubbed the world's thinnest laptop..this is fabulous it is a 10.4mm thick device yet features a 13.3 inch screen with i5 or i7 intel!

Intellectual nuisance

The heat wave experienced in the country these past few months have been really traumatizing, the nights are very warm and houses very hot...literally, leaving one waking up soaked in sweat...that is if you could get any sleep at all, while the day is characterized by scorching heat which feels as though hades' breath is being unleashed on humanity and with the fuel scarcity in the country plus epileptic power supply and poor water supply,  it had spurred depression amongst the populace to astronomical heights, people are now easily irritated and sensitive, weary and easily tired. I really feel for Karl as he's now forced to live in tank tops and singlets, gulping chilled water every two minutes, don't even get me started on women who might be going through menopause that I've seen around, what with the hot flashes they have to cope with in these times, whew!

So on a typical saturday morning, the heat gradually simmering our blood as there was no power and we couldn't get fuel to turn on the generator or charge the inverter, Hamz, QT and Karl had to peel the rug off the floor and lay shirtless on bare tiled floor to keep cool, so I thought I should help make us brothers feel better by feeding us all some intellectual meal....(Exactly what we needed isn't it?, lol).

Dawgs have no soul 2

I kept running in circles, confused and distraught, totally at a loss at what next to do  while Garba jumped up and down, urging me to quickly call Mom, I thought I should do that but I didn't want to alarm our poor Mom at work, she's had a lot on her plate lately and I didn't want to compound her worries by breaking this news to her, assuring myself I could handle this at least to a reasonably mitigated extent before alerting Mom about it but I couldn't hear myself think as Garba practically kept shouting in my ear for me to call Mom as neighbors who had saw the whole fracas gone down began to gather to ask questions and knowing how neighbors can be with their talent at spreading gossip at an alacritious speed, I needed to save my brother's face by feeding them a false story, a rape story would not help Hamz and by extension us too so I simply jerked myself to reality as though I was initially lost in thought and told those who gathered with their faces etched with lines of fake worry that he had a fight with someone and Mom had asked the men to come and take him away to be dealt with, they sighed with relief, saying Mom was being harsh as they departed to their houses one by one.

Dawgs have no soul 1

Na na, Na na, Na na, eh!
I bet you start loving me
Soon as I start loving someone else
Somebody better than you
I bet you start needing me
Soon as you see me with someone else
Somebody other than you
And I know that it hurts
You know that it hurts your pride
But you thought the grass was greener on the other side
I bet you start loving me
Soon as I start loving someone else
Somebody better than you

 The sonorous and melodious voice of Ciara's "I bet" song nicely blended with its instrumentals and studio work that went into making it a worldwide hit filtered out of the sound system in my room whose separate speakers with a remote control allows you to adjust the system from anywhere in the house, with a built in amplifier that delivers 18W of high quality audio with some serious, spine-tingling, reverberating bass making the song the more richer...the  speakers brought by Karl  along with him when he left the united states permanently to live with us. I lay splayed on the bed, lying on my tummy in nothing but my canary yellow briefs whose cotton material hugged my pelvic region deliciously tight as my soul connected to the song on an emotional level, twitching my ass cheeks to flow with the rhythm of the music since I couldn't possibly groove to the music while lying down.

Not sooner than suddenly, the flow of my music  got interrupted by the startling sound of my phone's ringtone, the phone ringing  from where it was on the bedside stool and on picking and checking who was calling, it was Nicole, Karl's mom, I was really surprised as I instantly sat up with the phone in my hand, picking the stereo remote to turn down the volume all the way down with my lips parted in surprise as we haven't heard from her in a month...atleast, she hadn't talked to me directly, so I looked transfixed, not knowing whether to quickly go and give Karl as I quickly processed in my head she might have wanted to reach Karl but couldn't get him but yet again, I thought since she's calling me, I could  just go ahead and pick it and if she wants to speak with Karl, I rush and give it to him not knowing he wasn't even in the house as he had gone on a stroll with QT. So I went ahead and picked it.

"Hello baby boo!"

Dreams that scare

It's past two am and it had just rained...a heavy one indeed that had swept dirt and black sand from around the area in heaps dotted around the estate by flash floods which we were going to see in the morning but at this time, tiny dots of rain water still drizzled outside, it was the second rain of the year in the start of the rainy season, the weather was so cold and everywhere, pitch dark as power authority had cut off supply just about the time the rain started to forestall any incidence of electrocution in case a power pole got felled by  strong wind or lightening, with a few random houses within the estate  including ours, illuminated by their security lights from either putting on generator sets, solar or inverter sources of electricity.

Everywhere within the Adagiri home was quiet and dark as all were soundly asleep, I love having too many pillows on my bed to have something to hug wherever it was I faced in case I had a nightmare so I snuggled between my "babies", wrapped altogether in my mosquito net as one of the stand had broken and I had to bring the net down, I sleepily pushed Karl's big and hairy leg away from my thigh as I turned to look at him from a reflection of a  security light outside whose rays had sliced its way through the dark room to illuminate Karl's sleepy face showing as he chewed baby-ishly at his lips....I hate when he does that, so I just turned my face away from him. On the other side of the wall in QT and Hamz's room, QT looked as always, sweetly cute and at peace sleeping, the silence in the room occasionally broken by his intermittent snores while for Hamz...his face looked the picture of being disturbed or bothered, constantly twitching..literally and turning around the bed as dots of sweat began to form on his brow...that was when it started!

"EMA WEYIN OOO! (WEYIN) 2x     
 EMA SOFOFO! (OFOFO),
OFOFO O'DARA! (K'ODARA),
NILE IYA HAMUSA! (HAMUSA)! ''

Held in contempt

"Imagine we are in an apocalyptic era and you sustained a cut or an injury and need to keep infection at bay but no penicillin...how do you create your own penicillin?"

I asked Karl from where I sat on the bed, surfing the internet with the laptop placed on a pillow on my thighs to prevent the heat from the laptop from burning my thighs,

"You tell me!",

He responded, shoveling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and munching away while droplets of milk seaped from his mouth into the bowl, some of it trailing down his jaw as he used the back of his palm to wipe It off, I nodded, in readiness to answer,

"Well, you'll get a loaf of bread and or an orange...leave for a few days till spores begin to form...for the bread, you cut it up into smaller pieces and  add a little moisture, preferably orange juice and seal up in a bag until molds begin to develop then let it change colour and progress from white to blue then green...you see that green mold, it contains doses of penicillum, so you can either take the molds and mix up with water and drink up or scrape the mold then apply on the wound and wrap up! So there you go, a way to survive in case the world goes bust and you find yourself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, this information might just save your life".

Brothers scuffle

It is said that impunity starts from a little misdemeanor left unpunished and as such, whoever spares the rod, ultimately spoils the child...to prevent these from happening, urgent and decisive measures have to be taken to nip the irritant behaviours as soon as they crop, in the bud. 

 

The day was saturday around 11 am, the wind which blew was cool and balmy to the feel while the brightly shone sun gradually got swallowed by an avalanche of heavily pregnant ashy-blue cloud filled with rain water about to be unleashed on the city, sparks of lightening could be seen striking intermittently behind the clouds and the intensity of the wind grew stronger and cold, causing whirlwinds  carrying off nylons and trash in the air as people scuttle all over to quickly find a shelter from the strong winds and impending rain while owners of petty selling stores around quickly closed down their shops or threw a large tarpaulin over their wares they couldn't quickly carry in.  

 

Mom and I were  driving home from her sisters' house, the windshield wiper waving frantically against the windshield glass, making the almost croaky sound while somewhere inside our home whose outdoor view at that moment looked weirdly deserted and ghostly quiet and cold, probably due to the change in weather and the frantic waving of tree branches from the wind giving it an opening scenario in a horror novel,lewd remarks could be heard, sexual moans uttered and  the slapping sounds of spanking going off on someone's flesh  while sounds of things falling off from an apparent acrobatic sexual encounter was going on... Mom and I looked at each other in knowing shock of who the culprit behind those  could most probably be...HAMZ! Drama is about to loom large amongst the Adagiri brothers....Are your seat belts fastened? Let's go! 

The new world order

I had stepped out early that saturday morning with the sun shining brightly in the sky gradually heating up everywhere as temperature steadily soar high, running errands for Mom feeling like I might pass out soon from thirst and exhaustion from trekking around the estate...  earlier that morning, I had grudgingly climbed out of bed after she called me through her phone and I knew instantly she was feeling too lazy to either call out my name from her room or come in into mine to call me, so I threw my blanket aside, climbed out of bed, then went out of my room and towards hers which is adjacent to the room I share with Karl.

Still sleeping on her bed, she handed me her atm card and asked me to go and make withdrawals from the atm machine at the entrance to our estate by a new generation bank situated there, I wanted to grumble but cut myself short before I even started when Mom said it is so I could get us bread, milk and tea for breakfast and I knew I would get to keep the loose change from the transaction of buying those aforementioned items...I don't know why but since I was a child, I have had an obsession with keeping loose change when I buy things. So on getting back, my hands laden with bags of goodies for breakfast and my lips parched with thirst from trekking the whole distance from home to bank then to the store and back with my armpit and chest area of my top damp with sweat which were kicking my nostrils as I hadn't showered before stepping out and my feet  dirty with dust, I just wanted to get inside and quench my thirst then jump inside the shower but on getting inside our compound, I heard voices apparently belonging to my brothers arguing back and forth and from the tone of their voices which seemed angry, it looked like the boys were close to exchanging fistbumps and I wondered what could have happened in the short while I'd been away...could it be hunger?

A jack of one trade

They say if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans! Growing up as a kid, I was brought up to not only adore God and fear him but also see him as my best friend and confidant and as such encouraged to constantly  lay all  my desires and plans before him, which, trust me, I did all the time...I told God all of my plans, projects and dreams and thinking about it in hindsight now, I think I must have sent him chuckling really hard...holding his chest as he doubled over with mirth at my strive when he had other plans for me.

Growing up, I had dreams just like every other kid to either be a lawyer or doctor, engineer and other "big" professions but as the tide of life took me on its fast paced course, it gradually narrowed my waves of ambitions to the one thing that had been constant, which I did without much effort and that I love doing but most neglected....writing.

Happy new month of march

This is wishing you all Amazeballs, a wonderful month filled with immeasurable blessings, may we all march triumphantly into our glory this month and throughout our lives. Happy new month. Next episodes on keeping up with the adagiris-

Anti-valentine

The days leading towards valentine literally got everywhere and everyone rife with palpitations, everyone was giddy at the thought of spending the day with their partners, going on dates or just generally having a nice time.

Conversations with the guys centered on what each one would be wearing and what party, lounge or hangout would be ideal to spend the day and on social media? It was over flooded with a lot of brands advertising discounts for lovers, everyone suddenly seem to be in a relationship as social media timelines got filled with love quotes and pictures of a whole lot of couples (even though a lot are broken up) and can't wait to be decked out in red and white outfits.

Am not particularly a vals person, to me, it's just the 14th day of the second month of the year but to my utter shock,  the love fever in the air gradually creeped up on me and I thought it would be nice to catch up with Simi again. I had seen Hamz also preparing for valentine, as he recently had a faux bouquet of stunningly beautiful rose flowers he had save money for delivered to our house, Mom kept teasing him about who the new lady in his life could be these days and given the awkward encounter between myself, him and Simi in FONDLE FOR TWO, it started to bug my psyche that perhaps, he's trying to snag up Simi which to me would be an act of betrayal, I mean, Simi is suppose to be with me, not him, even if he has feelings for her, by virtue of me being his brother, he ought to kill his affections for Simi because of me...that's what brothers do right?   

Meet the brothers!

  A lot of Kuwda fans, especially those who didn't start with us from inception, read our stories and though they enjoy it, don't  fully understand why we are the way we are even though they relate to a lot of our stories and some already feeling like a part of us. I occasionally get mails from fans asking why the brothers always defend Maj (myself) from trolls, why are the brothers so close and show so much love towards each other despite having occasional "great" fights and misunderstanding amongst several other personal questions.

Well, in this episode of keeping up with the adagiris, we are taking a little trip back in hindsight at some episodes which focused mainly on each of the brothers to get a scope at their personalities.

Flaws, Warts and All

Mom's car horns kept honking non-stop at the gate, getting me agitated and rather upset at what could make her horn like that as though she was pursued by thieves, I walked briskly towards the window, pulling the curtain apart to see where Garuba could be that he hasn't opened the gate already.

Just at that moment, Garuba jumped out of his cubicle room and ran towards  the gate to open it, I hissed loudly, dropping the curtain and going back to sit on the sofa. Mom's car zoomed to a halt in the compound and I stood up again to meet her halfway into the house,

 "Welcome Mom",

I greeted, she nodded in acknowledgment and dropped her bag into my hands to carry inside, I looked at her, quite puzzled at her mood. I walked up to her and solemnly asked her what happened, she scoffed and started as Hamz,QT and Karl walked in at that moment to hear all she was about to say,

"Can you believe my ungrateful sisters, I went to see them and gave them money for their feeding et al and do you know what they said? That the money isn't enough and that I should dole out more money...can you believe that? These bitches never understand that money is tight for everyone plus do they think am packing money where I work? Do they think I have things easy for me or have no use for money or no responsibilities of my own...?"

Mom raked as we all looked at each other in utter shock, she used the word bitch, Mom is truly livid right now, she continued

Sister Sister

It's been a few days after the carnival and I'd been avoiding an awkward run in with Simi whenever I went out, post FONDLE FOR TWO after my brother and I had a "squeeze" with her, conversely, Hamz has been looking forward to seeing her again, crazy guy right? It was a weekend...a saturday morning, I lay down on the sofa, reading an online story when QT bounced in, playfully slapped my feet and sat on the rug close to me, I paused from my reading and gave him a smile as it hit  me that I haven't had a nice one on one chat with my elder brother in a long while, our conversations have mostly included the rest of the brothers, this is slightly intentional as QT is a man of few words and more often than not, he upsets one and never takes anything serious hence one is tended not to engage him in meaningful conversations so I thought to break the ice and tell him what was on my mind without holding my breath he won't disappoint.

Fondle for two

FORWARD- This post contains sexually explicit language, discretion is hereby adviced.

The one who shall not be named

"MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY!  DIVA COMING THROUGH!"

Hamz called out as I descended the stairs into the sitting room where Karl and QT were busy playing a video game, I smiled, playfully pushing him away by his head then theatrically sashayed into the kitchen, Hamz continued,

"Kim...kim....kimmy!"

He yelled after me, taking repeated flashed shots of me with his phone acting like a papparazzo

" Who the hell is kim?"

Happy new month of february

Happy new month Amazeballs! It is the month of love, let the love we share be wholesome, unbiased, non-discriminatory and not tied to intimate love alone! May we all attract God's love this month and forever! Show some love just because...

Next episodes on keeping up with the Adagiris..

The devil quotes scriptures

The air was cold and crisp, a feeler of sort to a gentle wind blowing around whistling quietly in motion, softly sweeping dried leaves in whatever direction it blew, dull haze hung densely  in the air, the result of the harmattan season which hints at a more harsh weather in the coming months, everywhere in our family country home compound was still and quiet until an hour later when the haze seemingly melted at the touch of the early morning sun rays, giving way to a clear and bright atmosphere thus seemingly bringing the town to life and a lot of people towards our country home.

 It's been 24 hours since the Matriarch had been buried and the family had been receiving visitors and sympathisers nonstop who kept thronging our expansive country home to condole with us. Mom was beginning to feel slightly overwhelmed by all the constant sighing, sobbing and hugging, she didn't think as a daughter-in-law who wasn't even loved by the late Matriarch, that it was necessary for her to be with the family to receive visitors but the rest of the daughters-in-law began to arrive one by one, giving financial constraints to getting permission from work and school as excuse amongst other reasons for coming late so Mom out of respect and courtesy didn't want to declare her intention to leave just when others were arriving.

Immortalized in history

Immortality! Oh how wrong were we to think immortality meant never dying! Whether good or bad, a person can remain immortal in one's life depending on the roles they played in our lives when alive

We all stood transfixed on our respective spots, totally dumbfounded over the news Mom just hit us with. Whilst we still ruminate over the news, staring at each other in utter shock and disbelief, Mom calmly punched keys on her phone, her facial expression neither sad nor happy...just blank, her freshly dyed raven black hair falling slowly all over her face as she faced down staring at her phone while putting  calls through to some relatives of our late Dad to get more information about burial arrangements and the family's decision in light of the incident. Once she was through, Mom looked up, packed her hair into a careless bun at the back of her head then announced that the family has made it mandatory for members of the family who were in states around kogi state which are mainly abuja, kwara, ondo and edo states to gather for her burial which would be first thing in the morning the next day according to islamic rites and as a mark of respect, we were enjoined to be there,

A call to cry (Season Premiere)

The week had started on a really bad note, Vivian, my immediate boss at work had been giving me quite the nasty attitude from monday through to tuesday for no just cause which I suspect it's for not having her side when she chastised the corper attached to our office for skipping work for two days without permission, while that is still on, I had a major row with another colleague in another unit wednesday morning over missing files, arguing over which one of us will take responsibility for it, I'd taken the files to her penultimate week which she signed for on my register that she collected it only for her to tell me now that it was a different file she signed for, as if that wasn't enough office drama for one soul, my boss kept finding faults with all the errands I ran for him, if he wasn't my boss, I would have been close to spanking him across the face, to crown it all was when the director-general walked into our office and caught me watching a movie on my office system which I did to calm my frayed nerves down, I felt like a chicken whose feathers were brutally plucked off and cold water poured over its body on an early harmattan morning as I quietly endured  the vitriol he spewed my way, he left with his entourage of PAs and personal body guard who had gathered while I sat back, fighting back tears from the hurt of all the bullshit I've endured that week, I was at the end of my tether and close to loosing it, it was as though my zodiac sign was absorbing all shades of bad vibes that week.