Thursday 31 December 2015

Keeping Up With D Adagiris: 2015 Rundown of episodes


And like a taxi driver who pulls to a stop after reaching his destination, 2015 has taken us on its ride, pulled to a stop and now has to bid us its farewell, it has been quite an amazingly beautiful year however, it is pertinent to note that the ride has been quite the roller coaster spliced with a few bumps here and there with some dash of ups and downs, seasoned with a couple of really happy and amazing moments and ofcourse garnished with handful (or more than) of wholesome drama, a bitter-sweet one would aptly sum it up but isn't that what life is all about?

The year 2015 on Keeping Up With D Adagiris blog opened up with much trepidation, fear and uncertainty after the previous year ended in so much chaos which stemmed from  the destruction of a huge section of our abuja home which was destroyed by Alhaji garuba's hench men from unsettled loan owed him by Mom which got us getting the police involved but the rich man boasted he had the authorities in his pocket as he was a wealthy man and could do and undo, which led us into getting the media involved to feast on the both of us and let the court of public opinion judge us both. As if that wasn't a huge worry of titanic proportion, enough to take  our heads off, Karl and QT got into a violent fight which resulted in QT dealing Karl over the ears with a deadly blow which resulted in partial deafness in that ear which required a minor surgery to correct, it was really a crazy and emotionally draining moment for us all then. How can I also forgot the moment time literally stood still when Mom and Dad's ex-girlfriend Nicole met when she visited for a post-humous get together birthday party for Dad hosted by Karl who lost out on the chance of ever having a relationship with him, that was some really awkward s**t, then the birthday parties we threw  each of us brothers, decorating the house by improvising with homemade decors, cheap drinks and making our own barbecue when money was short, whew! It's been quite an amazing year and am glad I could capture these memories in words the best I can whilst entertaining you all lovely Amazeballs but before I proceed, a little background information on the Adagiri family for those just getting to know about Kuwda.

Monday 21 December 2015

So much class! So much panache!

                                            
Lawson crescent is some sort of wisteria lane in its own way, pretty suburban in outlook, with no picket white fence though but well cultivated lawns sandwiched between well trimmed shrubs and colourful flowers adorn frontage of most houses, nice flashy cars crisscross the streets, superficial and vain housewives who gather at the curve of the crescent every weekend while throwing out trash gossip about other wives who are career women or in my Mom's case, a busy, independent career woman chatter for minutes on end. The break of dawn sees exercise and workout enthusiasts puffing and panting down the street with music flooding their ears from earpieces plugged into their earlobes whilst jugging away, drenched in sweat every morning trying to score a sizzling rack clock on the miles and with cute, well planned structures lining the street, you are awash daily with the ever smiling, mind-your-business residents giving off an air of perfection and happiness in their lives with their well combined expensive wardrobes, plush cars et al whilst stepping out of their houses but behind their persian curtains lie their foul-smelling, retch -inducing dirty laundries worthy of a national scandal sashay their way into the world running their lives. Somewhere on this crescent is where the Adagiris reside, welcome to my street.

Tuesday 1 December 2015

Happy new month of december


Happy new month Amazeballs! Let's us all reflect and count our very many blessings however little, Wishing you an amazing month of love and good wishes or you and yours, a wonderful xmas and a prosperous new year all in advance. Upcoming topics on Keeping Up With D Adagiris-

-So much class, so much panache- A new family moves into the neighborhood ready to upstage all the trendiest families on the street as they brought along with them so much class, so much panache, are the Adagiris threatened?

Friday 27 November 2015

Phases


''There would always be haters! Learn to use the criticism to fuel you, like a protein shake but made of hate!''

I smiled inwardly, staring at that powerful statement I unwittingly scribbled down on a sheet of paper before me as I sat on the comfy army green khaki cloth stretch chair on our terrace overlooking the small patch of green area in our compound just before the interlocked grounds as I write this very episode for Keeping up with the Adagiris.

Nothing much had been happening in the Adagiri household of late and with nothing blog-worthy to write about more so since I had gotten too relaxed in my writing niche comfort zone and previous attempts to dabble into other forms of writeups outside my niche proved a bit difficult and uninspiring, I decided to check my mail inbox to read emails from some fans and I stumbled upon some nasty comments about my blog. To say it didn't affect me would be an outright lie, I get praises and nice comments all the time and naturally, some hate mails too but these just got to me in a way I couldn't fathom, probably because I couldn't get myself to write to distract myself from dwelling on such venom and it was making me really upset and vulnerable.

Monday 12 October 2015

We like to party

"Where are you?"

Mom's worried voice came forth from my blackberry smartphone's receiver,

 " I'm almost home ma" ,

 I moaned, she heaved a quick sigh, going ahead to reprimand me on why I always close late from work all the time, more so now that I'm not feeling well, my body's defenses gradually being broken down by malaria parasite hence where I ought to take excuse from my superiors at work to close early,  here I am again coming home late looking rather worse for wear. She paused then asked if the cab driver was over-speeding as the wind was obscuring whatever I was saying, I said no which she could barely hear, she hissed then ended the call.

Thirty minutes later, I staggered into the sitting room looking rather ashen with feverish condition, clasping my arms around myself from cold,

"Oh son! How are you feeling? Worse than this morning?"

Sunday 27 September 2015

Watching Empire

"OH MY GOD!"

 I shrieked totally terrified, QT rushed into the blue tiled bathroom where I was with nothing on but a large towel wrapped around my chest to find out why I cried so. Holding my cheeks in my palms, I turned towards a curious looking QT who asked if I'd seen a ghost,

 "Qatari! Grey hair, I found two strands of grey hair on my stubble"

Thursday 3 September 2015

Awkward encounter

"Tick! tock! Tick! Tock!" Goes the hand of the clock as it inches towards the hour of midnight. It was a windy night with sparks of lightening flashing through the cloudy sky over waves of  undulating mountains yards away,  the heavy wind sending the branches of the olive trees in our compound waving frantically, whistling along to the cry of some unknown birds in the far distance, the blending of both creating some tune like the soundtrack of a horror movie at its climax. 

Thursday 6 August 2015

Camouflage 2

 
 "I need a lot of improvement
Not even half way to destiny
But I'm a train that's moving
And everyday I'm picking up speed
And god knows you ain't perfect
So who are you to put pressure on me
That's why I'm still searching
For somebody to love me with" 

The second verse of Brandy's hit song resonates with me immensely as I sit, typing this draft reminiscing about my short-lived relationship with Ariana. I think things started to break apart the moment we made it official. In all honesty, A lot of factors contributed to the collapse of our relationship though I couldn't say it was really her fault, she just couldn't cope with the sudden attention our relationship seemed to be garnering. So as i pen the breakdown of our relationship, if she's reading this, I hope it serves as a form of closure...for her and myself. 

THE GENESIS

Saturday 1 August 2015

Happy new month of august!

 
Wishing you all my vibrant amazeballs and fans of Keeping up with d Adagiris worldwide a blissful month, full of God's blessings and positive surprises. Next on Keeping up with d Adagiris...

Friday 31 July 2015

Camouflage 1


Saturday 18 July 2015

Crimson skyline


To say it was an aberration won't quite do it justice, it was in the least, earth shattering, as  though all forms of life activity mysteriously got sucked out of us,numbing us to stillness as Karl's words reverberated through our respective heads in a shocking statement that would later quite blow up in our faces,

"I'm converting back to Christianity"

He said again in case it didn't sink in the first time. As far as we knew,Karl was happy being muslim or so we thought and was slowly getting used to Mom calling him by his muslim name Omar.

"But why?".

Was all Mom could utter in a shaky voice that thankfully sliced through the stillness which was so profound I was beginning to feel suffocated,

Saturday 11 July 2015

Compound matters


"Part of the process of beginning anew, or changing directions is to know where you want to go. I know this sounds simplistic and easy, but this is one of the most difficult of choices to make with clarity.",

 "The chief beauty about time is that you cannot waste it in advance.The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,as perfect, as unspoiled,as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose."

Those rich words by byron pulsifer and arnold bennet respectively resonated in my head that morning in light of my recent confusion as to what I wanted out of life and the direction I needed to tow professionally as read in the third part of HASHTAG SURPRISE AWAITS  as I got ready to resume work at  NIMC headquarters to begin a new course in my life, charged with gusto to give my new job my all,create good impressions and do a satisfactory job to the best of my ability,although naturally I was a nervous wreck,I tried to pull myself together and show up to work as promised.

Saturday 4 July 2015

#Surpriseawaits 3


On stepping into the two-storey building with faded painting of the National Directorate of Employment (NDE) ,my face suddenly fell sullen and my body chilly from a rush of anxiety which swept through me, causing goose-bumps all over my body.

The whole busy-beehive ambiance of the different offices with staffs  behind desks, jotting notes on files and others frantically waving excitedly,saying hello to colleagues as they resumed for work had a strange effect on me which made me nervous and quite slow,affecting my walking and overall quick assimilation of the things people said to me which isn't  how I normally am thereby lulling my usually lively self  which was now beginning to irritate me but sadly couldn't help myself, I couldn't explain it,I guess am always like that when in a totally new environment,miles away from my comfort zone.

All through school,the dream has always been to get a job,work behind a desk and sign files away,get paid and all that and now,it seems the future I dreamt of back then is  here and I feel quite unready because in all these time,through having new experiences,thoughts,education,exposure,knowledge et al,my dreams have inadvertently changed but what I want now,I couldn't exactly put into words or maybe am just a little overwhelmed from the thoughts of what it would feel like working in an office or the thoughts that adulthood and being responsible for myself had officially begun.

Wednesday 1 July 2015

Happy new month of July


This is wishing you all Amazeballs a fulfilled month,full of everything positive you wish for..to you and yours. Happy new month.

I know i've been quite MIA in recent times on the blog,this is due to recent ill-health and the struggle of balancing work schedule with my writing committments,it's been quite hectic,but i know that shouldn't be an excuse,am still working on the best modalities to work things out so neither work nor blog suffers,please do bear with me.


So next on Keeping Up With The Adagiris-

Saturday 20 June 2015

#Surpriseawaits 2

I couldn't settle down,I kept prancing up and down the entire sitting room,Karl asked me to calm down as Mom would eventually come home and tell me where I'd  landed this job which from the tone of her voice earlier, sounded like somewhere really major.

I sat down half-heatedly,taking deep breaths to help calm my soul,I whipped out my phone from my pocket and pressing a shortcut button to my music playlist, filtering out was the sonorous voice of beyonce's "XO" which felt like  soothing balm to my frayed nerves .

Time slowly dragged by  until early evening when at the blare of the familiar sound of her car horn,I sprinted to the gate as a smiling Mom drove  in a crescent through the interlocked grounds of the compound to park the car in the garage,she stepped out of the car with a spring to her step,beaming excitedly, she told me she knew I must have almost died of suspense,my eyelids fluttering in mock-anger with my lips in a pout,I quipped,

"ofcourse mother! You just left me high and dry,it's unfair na"   

Saturday 13 June 2015

#Surpriseawaits 1


At the dinning table,Mom's piercing gaze swiveled back and forth between Hamz and I,eagerly waiting for a response...my rather moist eyelashes blinked rapidly which drew her angry gaze towards me...slowly letting out a long exhale,I sputtered with a rather croacky voice from palpable fear of how she might react,

 "Hamz ...didn't have a ....virus,it was just a case of benign tumours sparingly spread across the center of his scalp..."

Sunday 7 June 2015

Close shave

If there's something I dislike so much about Mom,it is her penchant for embarrassing her children to make herself look good. She has a habit of calling out your flaws in public...(by public,this means mostly amongst family members and friends) to show people she's doing her best to correct you but you've refused to heed her calls.

The looks I threw my Mom albeit furtively that fateful hot tuesday afternoon could literarily kill an elephant,I was beyond pissed. Admittedly,I don't pray the five daily prayers as often as I should and at the right time which I know is not something I should be proud of but the way Mom called me out that hot afternoon in the presence of her siblings and their children in our compound was so humiliating,comparing me to my cousins whom I witnessed when they were born as the former threw me a condescending look of pity and I couldn't do any thing as Mom already disparaged me before their eyes,I angrily walked past her into the house as she followed me,asking me to stop,I didn't and kept walking on,my anger level rising steadily,she kept shouting and when I'd had enough,I swiftly turned around to face her and told her to stop comparing me to other people's children so I won't compare her to other people's mothers,

Monday 1 June 2015

Happy new month of june!



This is wishing you all the happiest month of june ever to you and yours! Happy new month from all of us Adagiri brothers!

KEEP UP!

Monday 18 May 2015

The secret laughter of men


There is a popular saying that goes thus,

"if you have nothing good to say about someone,then don't say anything at all"

As much as we all tend to agree that gossiping is women's favourite pastime and can't  survive without it,saying men don't engage in it is pure cliche...in fact,it is more vicious in men than women...it is the secret laughter of men! 

Wednesday 13 May 2015

Do a bruce jenner?


INTRO- I sat cross-legged quietly on the rug in my room in front of my laptop one hot afternoon,gazing intently at the computer screen,totally lost in my reverie when Hamz breezily walked into my room whose door was left ajar to let in cool wind,he tapped me softly on the shoulder and as I turned startingnly to face him,he looked me straight in the eye and with a worried facial expression asked me,

"Maj! I would like to know,will you one day like bruce jenner announce to us that you feel trapped in your body,that you feel your sex is wrong and want to be a woman?"

Monday 4 May 2015

Shutdown


The day was tuesday around 12:30pm,the sun was directly overhead the city,pouring its fiercely stinging and hot rays down on earth's inhabitants so much I figured it was indirectly telling us why we need to make heaven.


Sometimes I wish I lived down south of nigeria as I reckon the sun shinning over there isn't as hot because of their geographical location unlike us who were up north and close to the equator. I puffed and panted tiredly as I fanned myself with a manual hand-fan,nepa or is it phcn had done the usual and the voltage of the inverter was too low to effectively carry all the appliances at home so I settled for watching tv and put off all other appliances to save energy while I fanned myself but unfortunately,the wind that came forth was very hot,I went to open the windows to let in breeze and it was a case of frying pan to fire as a gust of heatwave blew in my face,my throat instantly went dry as I stamped my foot in annoyance,letting out a groan to God to send rain.

Friday 1 May 2015

Happy new month of may


Happy new month Amazeballs,this is wishing you a blessed month filled with sufficient grace,to you and yours!

My hope for you is that you realize today that no matter how hard it's been for you, no matter how much you think you have failed in the past - every new day is an opportunity to start all over again. I wish you new ideas, new energy, new determination, new excitement and God's guidance.

I know for sure your best is yet to come, so keep fighting. May all your dreams come true


Next episodes to come on Keeping up with the adagiris:-

Monday 27 April 2015

Lying in state


There were once five female friends in secondary school!

Habiba, Ruth, Amina, Faith and Martha,

They were classmates and fast friends who did a lot of things together. Towards the end of their high school,Habiba was voted as likely to marry well,Ruth was voted as most likely to be a professor, Amina was voted as likely to be a successful business woman,Faith as most likely to be a supermodel and Martha as most likely to  die young!

Of all these ladies,only two truly came to pass,Habiba and Martha...Mom says of her,

"I think we all voted Martha as likely to die young because of her live-large and experimental attitude towards life,she was so carefree and did all sorts of dangerous things  that could put her life at risk"

Sadly,Martha did die unexpectedly but it wasn't her carefree lifestyle that killed her but the heartbreak of loosing a son,either way,her friends predicted right!

-72 HOURS EARLIER

Thursday 23 April 2015

Freshman at life

Saturday 18 April 2015

Life hacks


"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THIS USELESS BOY"

Mom wailed,throwing her hands up,slapping and hitting Hamz all over which made him fall on the sofa,she kept hitting him hard,pinching and biting him as Hamz yelped in pain,I stood by,my arms folded across my chest,looking on,she continued

"WHAT DID I EVER DO WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BENT ON HUMILIATING ME AND RUINING MY REPUTATION AMONGST FRIENDS? EH! "

Mom's body quivered amidst sobs,looking up to the ceiling,her hands on her waist and tears running down each side of her eyes,I sighed and releasing my arms,I asked a now kneeling Hamz in a commanding tone to lie down flat on the floor,he gave me the side eye with a wry smile that says "how dare you", QT's voice suddenly resonated startingnly from behind us,

"HE ASKED YOU TO FUCKING LIE DOWN,WOULD YOU NOT OBEY HIM?"

Wednesday 15 April 2015

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Grande sortie (grand exit)


(FINALE)

The night was still,the silence so profound you could almost slice through it with a knife,cool breeze blew forth from the airconditioner tenderly stroking my snoozy face which was deeply asleep,all was nice and calm until suddenly when I thought I heard a cackle of giggles sounding like the devilish mirth of salem witches followed shortly after by a slow and depressing undulating rhythmic tune synonymous with burial ceremonies,I suddenly felt a flush of heat sweep through me as I turned on the bed to allow some breeze cool my back which was wet with trapped dots of sweat creating a huge map of dampness on my pajamas. I kept drifting in and out of sleep,my eyelids sleepily fluttering as the tune of horror created nightmarish images in my head,I woke up with a start,feeling my immediate surrounding on the bed  for Hamz in the thick darkness of the room,my fingers hitting his parted lips which was slimy with drool,I felt his face all over,rubbing his
stubble just to be sure it was indeed him whereupon he moaned sleepily,shoving my hands off and changing his sleeping position,I sat up on the bed,waiting patiently to hear the scary tune again just to be sure I had indeed heard something of sort as I reached for my phone and punching a button to check the time,the phone lights came on,it was quarter past three am.


I sighed as I punched on my phone keypad,responding to chats that had popped in after I must have gone to bed,my eyes squinted almost to a close from the bright rays of the phone lights flashed directly unto my face...Few minutes later as I began to doze off,my head sleepily hitting the air,the devilish giggles echoed through the room again, startled,I sprang up,whispering "la hilaha illalau" the name of God,I turned to face Hamz and slapping him awake,I told him we needed to pray as I was hearing some strange sounds,he frowned his face waking up,hissed then turned around to sleep again,I went to the chest of drawers by the wardrobe to pick up a copy of the holy quran,my phone's torch light turned on,I quietly opened the door and tiptoed gently out of the room.

Thursday 9 April 2015

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Girl power



FOREWARD- In commemoration of the international women's day...treat every woman right

I think God made a woman to be strong and not to be trampled under the feet of men. I've always felt this way because my mother was a very strong woman, without a husband,There was a time when men thought it was sexy to have a housewife waiting for him to come home from work in her slippers, but in modern society, I think an independent woman is even more sexy. Beyonce succinctly puts it in her song,"independent women", the lyrics go thus "Tell me how you feel about this...who would i want if i wanna  live,i worked hard and sacrificed to get what i get,Ladies, it ain't easy being independent, Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I've  brought, Bragging on that cash that he gave you is to front,If you're gonna brag, make sure it's your money you flaunt, Depend on no one else to give you what you want". 

Thursday 2 April 2015

Happy new month of April


I forgot to wish you all my strong,vibrant amazeballs a happy new month,it totally escaped my mind,lol,so this is wishing you all a happy new month of april filled with blessings,successes and all good things desire to you and yours.

Upcoming episodes on Keeping up with the Adagiris-

Wednesday 1 April 2015

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Queer eye for the straight guy


It is said that when we desperately want something,the best way to aim to get it is to simply take our minds off it. #succintlyput


- PLAY

"Your eyes...those eyes.."

She whispered softly,her hands ringed around my neck while mine were wrapped around her tiny waist,our eyes locked in a lustful gaze

"Yea? What about my eyes?"

I whispered back,smiling expectantly

"Your eyes...are queer"

Thursday 26 March 2015

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Story for the gods


"...So,how is your mother ...and elder brother...oh sorry...elder brothers,I forgot you both now have an additional elder brother"

Alhaji Hassan asked with a smile,shoveling a spoonful of rice well mixed with delicious red stew to his mouth and chewing hungrily. Returning the smile and dropping my spoon,I responded

"They are alright sir,they send their regards sir"

Hamz kept digging into his food without paying attention to what we were saying

"So how long would you both be here?"

He asked again

"Em!...a week or two but most definitely before the elections"

Alhaji Hassan slowly nodded his head then wiping his lips with a serviette,he stood up to leave the dining table

"I hope you are enjoying your meal...I would be at the sitting room upstairs watching the news"

I thanked him as Alhaji left the dining area,Hamz's spoon continuously clanging on his ceramic plate as he dissected his piece of fried fish and chewed on it rather noisily.  Immediately Alhaji left the dining area and out of ear shots,I quickly turned to face Hamz

"You this hungry food monger,haba! You didn't even try to act like you were interested in what we were saying...why is it that when you see food,all your sense of chivalry and civility goes out the window?"

Thursday 5 March 2015

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Lasgidi state of mind

 
"...So Maj,I got you your driver's licence"

Mom said,handing me my licence from the government to freely drive around,I grinned happily from ear to ear

"Mom,but Maj doesn't even know how to drive anything aside a bicycle,why get him a driver's licence,do you want him arrested for manslaughter for knocking down people dead ?"

Hamz sneeringly asked to which Mom and I threw him a disdainful look and both hissed

"You don't have a sensible way of talking Hamza...manslaughter HAMZ! God forbids,is it only for the purpose of driving,driver's license is gotten?"

Mom scolded,waving her hand over her head repeatedly,snapping her fingers,Hamz shrugged,shoveling a heaped spoonful of cereal into his mouth,while I fiddled with my smartphone,intermittently sipping my favourite matcha green tea,the highest potent form of green tea and high in antioxidants

 "So when are you both leaving for lagos...because I don't have much money with me o,I still don't understand why the both of you need to go to lagos together! I understand Majeed needs to go for some interviews and workshop but you Hamz..."

Wednesday 4 March 2015

From our mail box


Hello Amazeballs,hope you are all having a nice day? soon,we would be kicking off with the spin off episodes on keeping up with d adagiris titled MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS but before we do,a peek into our mail bag and attend to all those questions,queries and commendations from kuwda fans from all around the world. Let me also use this opportunity to thank you guys for your love and interest in our lives and making our blog,a part of your leisure reading and the most of kuwda fans also dealing with the frustrations of not being able to leave comments,we've tried everything,I really do not know what else to do but we would not relent,so please keep trying,thank you! To send in your mails,comments and suggestions,please forward those to abdulmajeed4luv@gmail.com

So here are your mails,the ones I could attend to.

Saturday 28 February 2015

Happy new month of march


Change is the new law of life and those who look to the past or present are certain to miss the future...look back and thank God,look forward and trust God,he closes doors no man can open and opens doors no man can close...Be confident,too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be somebody we aren't,everybody has their own strength and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are- and aren't - that you will truly succeed

Happy new month Amazeballs

Friday 27 February 2015

Death becomes him


“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and re-adjust the way you thought of things" - Lemony Snicket

Sunday 22 February 2015

Kisses are delicious


FORWARD- This post contains explicit sexual language,discretion is therefore advised

Wednesday 18 February 2015

Je suis Karly

 
"...To be a U.S. Army Soldier is to be part of the strongest fighting force in the world. You’ll spend your days training, working and serving together to protect America’s freedom. You’ll also have time after work for family, friends and personal interests. From recruitment to retirement, the U.S. Army provides a unique lifestyle.

The most important thing you’ll learn as a Soldier is how to become a successful leader. You will be given many opportunities to improve your leadership and teamwork skills as you take on more responsibility and move up in rank. You’ll learn how to motivate and problem solve,to pursue goals with passion, to stand up to challenges and lead and live with your strengths. You will learn to lead by example..."

Thursday 12 February 2015

Seabuckthorn




Denial is the first stage in grief,acceptance is the last and we can say Mom has been in denial for so long in accepting the fact that her sisters never really loved her,I think she accepted when she had to do a kidney surgery which can be read in WARD 309 when despite being a sensitive case of life and death,they chose not to accompany Mom to be by her side in the hospital when she requested to know which one of them would come along with her to cater to her. I had seen the signs from when we,that is,my brothers and I,(with the exclusion of Karl as he was not here then) were little,my aunties saw nothing good about us,whenever we went on holidays to their place,we became glorified house servants,beaten at will and sent on never ending errands all of which my Mom never for once complained about,her reasons,I was to later find out about as an adult which I would talk about as I progress. As little as six years old,I remember my aunt Hubaida slapped me
hard across my face even though I was ill for washing my left hand to eat a plate of eba and soup she had prepared when I was suppose to wash my right hand...remember,I was ill and a six year old boy. I recall Mom getting home from work that day and after I told her what had happened and seeing slap marks on my face,she reminded aunt Hubaida that someday,she was going to be a mother herself and should remember the treatment she's meting out on me.

Monday 9 February 2015

What politics has divided


It has being just a few days since Karl arrived from the states,the nigerian polity  has been rife and intense with the general elections in the corner and lots of campaigns going on around the country,Mom has never being a supporter of the current presidential administration. Since shortly after yar'adua assumed the mantle of leadership,she told all who cared to listen then that she is predicting yar'adua's untimely death and goodluck's takeover and to her chagrin,that's exactly how it happened.

It was a rather dull and sunny afternoon,Karl had prevailed on me to accompany him to town in Mom's car to get some fuel additive for the car,I was neck-deep in intrigue,watching a repeat episode of real housewives of atlanta replete with its weave pulling and mudslinging which it is notorious for,he nudged me softly here and there,tickling me occasionally and swiping his palms across my face to distort my concentration on the telly,I grumbled angrily,seeing he wasn't going to let me be,I hesitatingly dropped the remote control and with a groan,stood up and walked to the corner of the sitting room to put on my sample sale pair of gucci flipflops which were given to me by Natalie and are quite expensive by the way and with a countenance filled with gratitude,Karl led me by the hand to the car.

Saturday 7 February 2015

Can i get your attention please?


Hello amazeballs,hope you're finding the last couple of kuwda stories very interesting? am sure you all are given the responses..overwhelming responses i've gotten about the stories,now,this is what i find interesting,i opened my blogger account today,as a matter of fact,a couple of minutes ago now to post another kuwda story when i thought i should check through my blog overview..before that,let me tell you how my day went,earlier today,i attended a media masterclass workshop where notable key speakers in the movie [hollywood,stakeholders in the new film selma with the lead acts being nigerians] and media industry gave insightful lectures on new media and going global,i felt overwhelmed by a new wave of inspiration sweeping through me and whilst checking through my blog overview just to know which countries are my core audiences at,traffic sources amongst other things which google helps you detail,i found shocking discoveries

1, the united states is the country with the highest number of viewership,followed by south africa and india while nigeria,my own country is in a distant fifth

Friday 6 February 2015

Upheaval 3

 
FORWARD- This post contains some portions of sexual language,if you're underaged,discretion is adviced



The yellow cab drove to the front of broadway,the whole area lit up and colourful Karl felt his adrenaline filling him up with excitement but sadly,he had no money left to pay for a broadway ticket,he knew Ruby would be getting prepared for the night's performance but he tried her number anyway just to alert her he would be waiting outside but it went straight to voice mail,so he left her a message and sat outside in the cold,rubbing his palms to generate heat and occasionally jogging back and forth,breaking into a sprint to keep out the cold.

He walked around till he saw a cafe and went in there and ordered a cappuccino with the last dollar on him and waited till past midnight when the show was over and broadway revelers thronged out from the theatre,he tried Ruby's number again and she picked it

Thursday 5 February 2015

Upheavals 2


The door creaked open abit,the sound slicing through the stillness of the night prompting Karl to pause for a second then slowly took  his hand off the door knob,allowing the door to slide open on it's own,he peeped out,turning left and right and seeing the coast was clear,he stepped out and tiptoed towards the main restroom door,waiting to hear some noise or sounds of a struggle or something but he heard nothing,he stood there confused about what to do and without thinking,he opened the door.

Natalie whirled around startlingly,her eyes reddish and her  matted brunette hair, cascaded down her bare shoulders,she mustered a smile,apparently taking a lot of energy to do

"What's wrong mom? Why did you lock yourself in here crying?"

Natalie sniffed repeatedly,nervously taking off a lumped thread of damp hair off her face

"Am fine Karl...am fine,I just felt a little overwhelmed by all that has been going on and needed to let off steam..."

She said with a shrug,continuing

"...so I locked myself in here and decided to let the tears flow,did I disturb you?"

She asked,sniffing again,Karl gave her a suspicious look,he turned off the running tap obviously turned on to quell the sounds of crying and other noise that might have been erupting behind closed doors and pulled Natalie in for a hug,his military training instincts unconsciously coming into use,he coyly sniffed his mom whilst hugging her for signs of drug use but perceived none,he looked around the bathroom when he noticed two feet in the bath tub,its body hidden entirely behind the bath shield,he smiled knowingly,assuming it was Andre but on second thought,he decided to pull the shield aside just to confirm it was indeed Andre.

Upheavals 1


The members of Yvonne's umuada or female kindred gyrated their way to the well decorated and expansive rostrum  where gaily dressed members of the high table were well seated amidst amplified local music blasting from the huge speakers and energetic dance steps,their chunky high heels clucking noisily along on the tiled floor.


Their uniform-coloured head gear were tied dish-like around their heads and spread out,the edges shooting out like insect antennas  in different angles making them look like an army of worker termites going on a bridal flight. The master of ceremony,a male comedian who was cladded in shirts and dull-coloured,retro suspenders with pointy-toed shoes for comic effect  welcomed them,engaging the women in a theatrical exchange of pleasantries to the amusement of all before handing over the microphone to their leader who saluted the guests in their local ibo parlance,throwing her fist into the air for gustorial effect,she declared on behalf of her group their gift of a full set of expensive kitchenware and two billy-goats to the newly married couple to the cheers and applause of everyone after which the leader of the umuada went to shake the beaming couple who were full of gratitude, then the women all swaggered back to their seats with pride.

Different groups of people and individuals also went to present their gifts,each group trying to out do the other. We waited patiently till the brag-fest was over before we went to present our gifts to the couple,congratulating them on the milestone during which, QT whilst shaking hands with the groom enjoined him to take good care of his bride,I nodded approvingly, smiling afterwards,we bid them farewell and left the events hall where the reception took place.

QT looked rather forlorn on our way home and I could understand why,looking at him,I gave him a tender pat on his shoulder while my memory suddenly  flashed back to how our relationship with the bride began.

Friday 23 January 2015

Kuwda is being nominated for an award!!



Hello amazeballs,the award season is on. To my utter surprise,i got an email from the organisers of Nigerian blog awards informing me that Keeping up with the Adagiris' blog is being nominated for an award in the BEST NEW BLOG and BEST PERSONALITY BLOG categories,to say the year 2015 started on a yummy note would be stating the obvious,thanks to all amazeballs worldwide who got the blog nominated,lol,am so grateful. Now to clinch this award,i would need all of your help to get this coveted award,as you all know,so many blogs are being nominated in the same category,so to nominate the kuwda blog for the categories stated above,here's how it's done:

Monday 19 January 2015

Ward 309


I was having a roller-coaster of emotions, first was me shivering with apprehension as Mom was unresponsive,splayed on the floor while my brothers battle to revive her as Karl was performing CPR,she was quite stiff and her lips abit parted,add that to feeling hurt about how everyone around the airport scampered away from us as though Mom was some human bag of plague waiting to distend,burst and gradually ooze out,poisoning everyone,they stood afar,barking CPR tips. QT  screamed at me to join them to carry Mom to the car and rush her to the clinic,I hurriedly joined in,lifting Mom's arms and as we were carrying her away,the medical team of the airport came around and asked us to place her on a stretcher they came with,she was examined on the spot and wheeled into their sick bay,where Mom was revived and complained of splitting headache and tummy cramps,she was given pain relievers and we left the airport albeit a little embarrassed at the whole drama.

Wednesday 14 January 2015

The other woman


It must have been around three am in the dead of night,the bedside lamp left on,I was deeply asleep,my hands clasped together and stuck between my thighs to keep warm,I felt an enveloping cold permeating my skin,creasing everything in its path as it sinks into my body,coursing through my insides,feeling as though it was brittling  my bones creating a somewhat stinging feeling.


Still deeply asleep and in a bid to keep warm,I outstretched my hand,feeling for my duvet but it was nowhere near me,my face tightened into a slight frown in frustration, I opened my eyes which was blurred at first,trying to take in my immediate surrounding from the partial darkness created by the dim light of the bedside lamp ,I rubbed my eyes,looked beside me and saw Karl swath himself with the entire large duvet,I clenched my teeth in anger,held the edge of the duvet and pulled it towards me but Karl had his hands dugged in tightly,holding on firmly on the duvet,now visibly upset,I sat up,prepared to pull harder at the duvet when I noticed Karl shivering and chewing his mouth as though he was lip synching,I examined him all over,calling his name but he didn't wake up,I figured he was having a nightmare so I slapped him arms and shook him awake.

"Wake up bro! What's wrong with you?"

Saturday 10 January 2015

Carpe diem!


PING! PING!

My blackberry phone buzzed for the umpteenth time prompting me to drop the carrots I was busy scraping dirts off under the kitchen zinc faucet with a knife as I got busy to start preparing jollof rice


I shook water off my hands,wiping carelessly on my short "kukere" jean trousers  and went to pick it up,my lips flashed into a cheeky grin...and when I say cheeky grin,who else could elicit such in me if not a female,lol,it was my bossom friend gloria whom I haven't spoken to in a long while,I immediately started punching my phone's keypad as it was also displayed on my screen that she was typing a message

Glo- Maaaaj!

Maj- Oh lord! Hey darling,how are you,quite an age!

Friday 2 January 2015

The sound of silence


Karl's eyes flipped open,baring reddish eyeballs,his eyelids flicking rapidly pushing out a drop of tear running down the side of his left eye,he was looking pale,almost a washout with some flecks of dried blood sprinkled randomly over his torso,his breathing the sound of a huffing snore was almost the only sign of human presence in the room aside the old split air conditioner vibrating with an irritating noise ,the room was hitherto dull and silent,all of us,quiet and still,all lost in our individual reverie,I sprang up with delight when I saw Karl open his eyes,I was filled with gratitude to God,I covered my mouth with my palms to prevent me from shouting for joy as I hurriedly went to sit by the edge of his bed,squeezing his arm tenderly which had a needle sipping in intravenous liquid into the arm which was all sore around the area the needle was inserted into him.

"How are you doing bro!"