Rumour has it!

"...Rumour has it that your hawt hawt oyinbo brother is now dating Shalewa the sly hoe!"

Amina, a former crush and now a platonic friend of mine upon getting married chimed as we catch up having lunch at an eatery close to my house on her dime along with other mutual friends amidst a lot of mirth.

"Hmmmn! WHAT?"

I exclaimed, chuckled then replied saying I would be the first to know if Karl was seeing someone,

"...We live in the same house and share a room, trust me, I'll know but really, he's not seeing anyone, he's just really taking his time"

 I reckoned with a careless shrug, shoveling a spoonful of fried rice into my mouth. Amina, a mixed, petite lady of Shua Arab and Fulani parentage is a lady who formerly lived on our street and back then, I had a huge crush on her primarily due to her stunning beauty that literally leaves men shaking with awe, very fair complexioned, slim with long black wavy hair but I knew I didn't stand a chance as from the look of things, her strict father already had her betrothed to a wealthy local chief in his hometown from her childhood and she had already resigned herself to that fate but we managed to stay friends and thankfully, because of my soft manly features, I was seen as harmless and without ulterior motives by her family hence our friendship was approved by her family thus I was about her only male friend approved by the family.

Amina shook her head sadly and reiterated her stance that Shalewa was seeing Karl albeit secretly, she knew this because "girls talk", I stopped in my tracks midway chewing a well fried chicken breast, almost choking on my food as Amina quickly handed me a cup of chilled yoghurt which I collected in a snap and downed it to clear my throat,

"Don't die biko, your mom will have my head on a platter"

She said amidst laughter joined in by our other friends Nima, Basherat, Kola and Zubair. Kola then quipped in an obvious banter for me not to freak out as it wasn't such a bad idea for Karl to date Shalewa regardless of public opinion about her as at some point, some man will still end up going to prostrate before her family carrying along barns of yam and other goodies to seek her hand in marriage,

 "Stop it Kola, this isn't funny, I'll find out when I get home but like I said, this is most likely to be false"

The Seventh Schedule

Women are like beautiful flowers in full bloom and like flowers, when they slowly begin to wither, you could almost literally hear their scream of fright!  

So was the case when Mom and I went to the market to shop for food stuffs for the house which is one of my least favourite things to do with her as she's an expert at haggling with market women unnecessarily for so long it wears me and more often than not, the sellers out. 

Her excuse usually is that since I barely know what it feels like to work and cater for a family all on my own, I couldn't understand why she needs to bargain and get the fairest deals on food stuffs to which I always nod with sarcasm. 

After haggling back and forth with a frozen fish seller over a carton of frozen fish for so long, the woman got irritated and sneered derisively at Mom and trust her not to take things lying low, she immediately called her out so loudly it generated curious glances and attention from other close-by sellers who pleaded with Mom to be patient. Seeing that she was having the upper hand and the support of other market women and passers-by, the pitch of her voice went a little higher as she refused to be placated and kept reprimanding the fish seller who kept apologizing, not because she felt sorry but so as to sell the fish and make her money, intermittently saying "I'm sorry ma" whilst packaging the fish, I covered my face in shame as I sensed she was about to get even more upset as Mom takes offence to being regarded as a "Ma" especially from fellow women, more so, women who are also mothers, implying that she's probably aged, she retorted back swiftly, telling the obviously younger woman,

 "Save your sorries...MA" 

I turned away from them, fished out my phone and pretended to be on a call. Still upset while I was still busy on my fake call, Mom slapped me repeatedly on the back to get my attention and collect the packaged bag of fish and carry to the car, I was so incensed at her action that if it weren't for the fact that she is my mom and we were in public, only God knows how much I would have yelled at her, I felt rather embarrassed at her treating me like a child with that action of slapping me repeatedly on the back and she saw the scowl in my face but she didn't care, instead, she snapped at me to be fast about it...good Lord!