The cover up 2

She stood by the door way,holding the door hinge n calling out on my brothers as I stood beside her,stretching my neck behind her to get a view of the room,mom turned back and I quickly got myself in order, "Maj, r u still here,before I loose my temper this early morning,u clear yourself out of my sight! What nonsense,do u think you're a kid?running around in your underwear" Mom barked,she was mid-sentence when I'd quickly turn to go when she called me back n asked where my brothers were,at that moment,lots of options of lies flashed through my mind but I have to be careful,mom didn't get to where she got to professionally being an idiot,she's very smart and can perceive lies when u utter one, "em..." Scratching my head "i think they went jogging" ,she took a good look at me,a rather condescending look but which says i-hope-for-ur-sake-u-are-right, cos obviously,my fussing over her n the distraction,she could sense I was trying to hide something and it wasn't my usual behavior to act that way,she nodded her head abit,sighed and left,I stood there,relaxing my back on the wall,as I prayed in my mind I hope I didn't fuck up
      It was 6:15 when my brothers called my line,I was wearing my long flowing jalamia and pinging on the praying mat,I let out a small groan,stood up and went downstairs to open the door for them. Reeking of cigarette smoke obviously from the condensed cigarette smoke in the club, stale sweat,mix of perfume,probably from hugging people and dancing with them ,I rubbed my nose to show they ooze,QT smiled n pretended to wanna slap me,I pushed his hands away as Karl and Hamz made signs towards Mom's room and lip synching,asking me if the coast was clear and all is super,I nodded my head in the negative,my brothers mouth went agape with horror, mouthing still,Hamz asked if they were in trouble,squeezing my mouth at the corners,I shook my head n went to the dining table to get a sheet of paper and pen and wrote all what had happened, Hamz had his hands on his head,stamping his feet but making sure it made no noise,QT had his hands on his chin like in a worried state,I just asked them to quickly go and change and shower,they thanked me,took off their shoes which let out a foul smell of smelly feet as they tiptoed upstairs,I shook my head and followed them upstairs to my room,unknown to us Mom had installed security cameras around the house and in the sitting room....actually we knew but we had totally forgotten we still had them,mom got them installed after we had a robbery attack some months back,fans from FB would recall. Brothers showered,prayed and look like they could use some sleep but Mom had called us on our respective lines to get to our house chore duties as it was weekend, Hamz approached me in the kitchen walking like he would drop any moment but I knew he was just acting,I knew what he wanted, "um maj brother,pls I know u have lots on ur plate already but would u b so nice to help me do mine,plssssssss" he said,I smiled and responded "so u don party,grabbed boobs,asses,gulped drinks,left me at home,that isn't enough *Hamz smiling* u want me to help u do ur chores,Hamz,u r MAAAD", he laughed out now and begged me,trying to make me see reason but I declined. We did our respective chores and breakfast of bread and tea with grilled salmon was ready,we sat to eat and mom cleared her throat as Karl forked a large chunk of fish to his mouth and QT was chewing and about to swallow when she asked "how was the party boys" OMG! Karl's fork dropped,QT choked on his food and my jaw dropped,but u might ask why we have no freedom to party and go clubbing,etc,its Mom oo and her ideals and policies,she doesn't allow us to do that or wear chain or jewelry (we do it secretly and only when going for parties) and even though we r in our early 20s,there are certain areas she vetoes and keeps us caged and because of religion's importance accorded parents and fact that she was the one who raised us single handedly,we find it hard to flagrantly disobey her, she continued, "so...Karl,QT,Hamz,how was the party?" Hamz gave me an icy look like I sold them out,it only changed when Mom faced me to tell me am also in trouble for trying to cover up for them, they kept stammering and mom told them she saw them on the feed from the security cams,they opened their mouth in surprise,totally forgotten we had those but shockingly,mom didn't chastise them,she simply nodded her head and digged in into her food,my brothers didn't know whether to be happy or still expecting mom's punishment.
       "Jeez,this is such a fuckup!" Hamz said walking into my room and hitting the bed in feigning rage,Karl and QT coming after him,QT falling on my expansive bed and Karl sitting on rug,I simply kept typing on my laptop,"my fans have been putting pressure on me to have an interview with my brothers,so am thinking we do it now" I said turning to look at my brothers, they laughed asking me if I would pay,Karl chipped in asking about our intended fashion venture just like the kardashian dash clothing line,QT roared with laughter,saying "have u read nigerian celeb news lately? Psquare is breaking up,what if we also break up,what would happen?" We all laughed but the thought stuck, could money or women ever separate me and my brothers? Only time would tell....KEEP UP

The cover up 1

"Maj,maj,maj,shhhhhh come here" Hamz whispered,pulling me by my collar as I walked barefooted climbing the stairs and walking through the corridor,in my pyjamas to my room,it was past 11pm and I was the last to leave the sitting room as I was watching E! News and thereafter true hollywood story on naomi campbell also on E!, Mom had retired to bed early. With a puzzled look on my face,I inquired why he needed me as I noticed he was well decked out in cool timberlands,cool jean trousers,NY face cap,blings n all,I was surprised and let out a dry smile,both pleased with his appearance but wondering why he was dressed like that at that time of the night,"what's this Hamz?! Why are u dressed like this? Where r u goin?" I bombarded him with questions, while he was yet to answer me as he fumbled with his blings and chains,clearing his throat to answer me,Karl and QT came into the room from the toilet,the smell of sweet cologne oozing forth from their body,also well dressed and obviously set to go out, seeing them,I squeezed my mouth in anger and demanded to know what was going on, "Thank God Hamz got to u before u enter ur room n sleep off, QT said but I quickly interjected "u r yet to tell me what's going on and why u r dressed like this at this time of the night", "yea yea,am coming to that,common man" QT snapped, he continued as Karl checked himself in the mirror on the corridor wall,checking his well coiffed hair, "well,we are going out...we r going clubbing,Karl has never clubbed here before so we decided to take him clubbing tonight,to give him the experience of nigerian clubbing,so we want u to cover for us and help open the door when we get back,we've spoken to musa,the gateman and all is set,whew' he said,rubbing his palms together,as he talked n fidgeting around,I could feel an overwhelming wave of anger rush through every pore of my body,I wanted to slap him just to make him stop, "Can u hear yourself talk? *mimicking QT* Karl has never clubbed here so we decided to take him clubbing tonight" so u guys felt u should tell me at the eleventh hour right?when u r set to leave and you guys party,while I cover ur asses,I can't belie...*Hamz cuts in* "shhhhh! Common lower ur voice maj,haba! Are u telling us u are upset we didn't tell u about this earlier?common,you are mumsi's sweetheart na and am sure u got ur beauty sleep to get to,*QT and Karl covered their mouths in muffled chuckles*we felt there was no reason to tell u cos we didn't think it was necessary,we felt we should just tell u now and u support us and help us and we leave, *patting me on the shoulder* common brother! Thanks ok? We gats go *turning to QT and Karl* "let's get going brothers", I stood transfixed on the spot,totally shocked at what my younger brother said to me and QT and Karl's response to it,their attitude,my mouth fell open,they knew something was wrong and I must be upset with how Hamz had spoken and their attitude,Karl came back to me,holding me by my shoulders,said "common maj,we r guys,am sure u know Hamz didn't mean it like that,he was just teasing u,we r sorry if we didn't tell u earlier,we needed someone to stay at home and ofcourse we need no prophet to tell us u would be the one to stay at home,besides don't u have your writeups on keeping up with d adagiris to get to?" He smiles as QT and Hamz laughed,quickly covering their mouths ,quieting down when they realised their laughter could wake Mom,I shook my head and pushed Karl's hands off my shoulders, "common maj darling" Karl said looking forlorn, I made to walk to my room,turned back and gave them a piece of my mind ," I can't believe u guys,for crying out loud,u r my brothers,how could u make such plans and didn't think u should tell me until when u guys were set to leave,I mean,who does that?now u stand here before me spitting trash,so am the one who ought to stay at home cos I don't know how to party,is that it?" I spurted wiping off a tear that welled up in my eye,"its no big deal" I continued, "I would cover up for u guys but trust me,I would make u guys pay for what you've done to me,", my brothers knew their action had totally gotten me upset as they didn't believe I would react the way I did but sincerely,I felt hurt that they didn't even tell me all day,they tried to reach for me and hold me but I quickly withdrew my hands before they would touch me,dashed into my room and shut the door, I heard QT asking Hamz and Karl not to beg me but leave me and that when they come back the next day,they would start begging me,jeez! Can u believe that? I stamped my feet in annoyance in my room,thinking I should alert mom but I thought of Karl...Hamz and QT might be idiots but Karl isn't born of my mom and i don't want him upsetting my mom and thinking she should make him leave before he gets out of her control,besides he was the only one who offered some form of grumpy apology,but I felt so bitter and angry about the whole thing,I took my phone and playing adele's "set fire to the rain",went into the shower to take my bath to chill,thereafter wiped my body dry and went to sleep. About a quarter to 1 am,I got a call from Karl to inform me they had just arrived at the club and wanted to let me know,I was so sleepy,I just managed to look at the time as I grimaced from the phone light hitting my sleepy eyes at close range and went back to sleep but I couldn't sleep comfortably as I sensed my bladder was full and I needed to release the urine, I thought,I won't get any sleep unless I stand up and go to the toilet,I lazily stood up and walking in the dark with the aid of my phone's torchlight,I went to the toilet and as the urine emptied from my scrotum,I felt an ease that was so soothing as I moaned over the relief it brought me. I thought I heard some noise from the sitting room,like the sound from the tv,I tried to remember if I turned off the tv or not the previous night and the thought of going downstairs to turn it off and climb back up made me fear at losing my sleep but it was something I had to do,I walked back to my bed,sat at the edge of the bed dozing,still thinking If I should sacrifice my sleep and go downstairs or just leave the huge plasma on and will it goodluck,as I contemplated what to do,yet so sleepy and dozing as the sleep got more intoxicating,I heard channels changing from one to another and I sprang up, "who could be in the parlour," I thought, I turned on the light as I quickly covered my eyes for a few seconds for my eyes to gradually get accostumed to the bright light,then I looked around for what I could pick and went to grab a cobweb broom and opening the door slowly,went downstairs to hit whoever the intruder it was that had the nerve to sit on our sofa clicking and changing channels and getting comfortable,as I descended the stairs slowly,I saw it was Mom, I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly,Mom turned back and asked what was wrong,I told her I wanted to be sure no intruder was in the house as I heard the tv from my room,she apologised and told me she couldn't sleep again and decided to come downstairs to watch tv,I asked her if all was well and she said she was fine,she smiled and told me I could go back to bed,I smiled back and bid her goodnight,as I climbed back upstairs,she asked me to wait for her to turn off the light and tv as she wanted to go back to her room,I waited for her and we held hands and went upstairs together,meanwhile outside the house,the wind was getting stronger as it seemed as if rain was about to fall,unfortunately either Hamz or QT left the window blinds open and the strong wind blowing up the curtains and scattering papers around in their room threw their room door wide open while mom and I were right at the front of the door on our way to our respective rooms, "OH MY GOD" I exclaimed as at that moment,it seemed as though everything went on slow motion as mom's head gradually turned,turning to look at the door flung open by the strong wind,I quickly jump to resque the situation,I rushed to the door and quickly locked it back,Mom shook her head,wondering why I would do that for them "u should have left it open and let mosquitoes have a nice feast on their bodies,such a loud bang and none of them wakes up to see what it is,what if it were armed robbers,God forbids," she hisses as I smiled nervously,joining in insulting them but adding that I just want to save mom the expense of taking any one of them to the clinic,we said our goodnights and locking the door to my room behind me,I heaved a loud sigh of relief, "that was close" I thought,shook my head and went to sleep.
        I couldn't go back to sleep so I just sat browsing through celeb gossip blogs and when I got tired of that, decided to download porns to watch,I fondled my manhood and really got engrossed with watching some really cool porns until I slept off,the videos playing over and over as I left the phone just by my head and slept off on the bed. I had no idea when day light broke but I know Mom woke me up and when I woke up,she looked intently at me face,her face stern and as I was "booting" from hours of sleep,I was also wondering why she was staring at me funny,she asked me if I was fully awake and I thought "here we go again,chastising me for not waking early enough to pray" instead she flashed my phone at my face, "PORN MAJEED! SERIOUSLY" instantly I was fully awake and stammering,my johnny still not fully recovered from its early morning hard on as I tried to stylishly tuck it between my thighs,mom won't believe its the usual male hard ons and not as a result of the porn,as I woke up and dashed for my kettle to do ablution,Mom came at me,pulled my ear and asked if I won't go and perform the cleansing bath before I pray, "....er but mom,I di..d..nt....I didn't release anything" I stammered, "ofcourse u didn't" she hissed loudly and demanded I go straight to the bathroom for the cleansing bath and while I was in the bathroom,I remembered my brothers weren't back from the club and I knew she would want to go into their room to wake them up for prayers, "OH MY GOD" I exclaimed as I ran out of the shower in my tiny briefs and out of my room to theirs to see if she hadn't gone in already,she was outside her room already performed her ablution to pray,she looked at me in briefs with my semi-hard on and my toothbrush in my foamy mouth and asked if I was well,"yesh" the yes came out that way as I stood,looking stupid,she hissed and called out," HAAAMZA,QATARI, AMIIIIR,TIME TO WAKE UP AND PRAY" she said,making her way to their room, "OH NO" I thought "what am I to do" I started dancing to distract her further and blocking her way to the room, "MAJ,ARE U SURE U R ALRIGHT" she asked sternly,pushed me off the way and opened the door....KEEP UP

Happy Easter

This is wishing everyone a happy easter celebration,jesus is the reason for the season,make his death and resurrection worth it,from all of us in the Adagiri family,Mom,QT,Karl,Hamz and my humble self Maj...even the Adagiri matriarch is waving from behind...lol...#kidding, we say happy easter celebrations,God bless!

Your mails

Hey amazeballs, thanks for all your messages which I've found inspiring,critiquing,funny etc,I receive so much messages every week its so much work going through them,so as the usual practice,I post some of the frequently asked questions and some other questions as I can manage to answer for all to see! For those who wanna reach me directly,the email is abdulmajeed4real@yahoo.co.uk or abdulmajeed4luv@gmail.com ,usually I take questions on facebook but whew! Its so much work taking questions on there,but those on my FB list can still ask their questions through FB. Thanks for ur love. Below are some of the questions I've received from fans and my responses...Love...Maj


Q- I love ur writeups maj,its really cool,truly seems like d male version of the kardashians,nothing overtly exaggerated,relatable and funny and most importantly, so nigerian,but I've been meaning to ask u,how do ur brothers feel about the whole writeup,don't they feel sorta exposed and open as u reveal all about your lives- Natalie A

A- Lol,thanks dear for the sweet compliments and as for my brothers,well,they find it trivial and unnecessary but nonetheless don't mind me writing about us,I love writing,so if it makes me happy,they r cool...aren't they just so sweet? :)

Q- Maj,ur writing is superb,am also a writer and am really impressed by ur talent,the descriptions are vivid,the stories are relatable and u make stories surrounding men fun to read,as we all know,guy stories aren't so much fun to read unless it has to do with crime stories,keep it up bro- Ibrahim O

A- Thanks ibrahim,am humbled,responses like these urges me on,am glad u find it entertaining,thanks.

Q- Wasup man! I really love ur stories,I've been following ur stories from facebook and ur move to blog is commendable,though I think ur posts on facebook has been more drama filled,interesting and suspense filled,ur stories on blog so far,though interesting,hasn't been jaw-dropping so far,wasup na,no shocking drama so far in d adagiri family? - Akawor D

A- Hahaha,Goodness me,u are so funny,so for ur own relaxation,u feast on our family drama for ur spot of entertainment,anyway,am glad we could entertain u, anyway as u know in every family,there r times when drama seems unending and there r times when everything seems calm,I guess its one of those times but u would agree with me the stories on blog have been quite d drama

Q- Hello man,I recently started reading ur posts and honestly I found them funny and ingenious,are ur stories true?- Bola F

A- Its a reality "show" in writing,so yes,most of it is true but a very little part in some cases r fiction and also parts where dates were written have been changed

Q- Maj,weldone,u really trying,but its about time u come up with a professional promotional pictures,plssssss! - Cynthia A

A- Aww! Thanks dear for ur concern,the real problem is getting my brothers to see this as beyond something trivial or just a hobby I would get over,they don't take me seriously

Q- I've followed ur writeups and I love it but don't u fear some unscrupulous individuals might wanna steal ur concepts and make into a movie?- Nathan J

A- Thanks man,I've thought about it and a lot of people have mailed me expressing same feelings but really I have a huge following and a lot of people can attest to it that this is my concept and thinking about it,its not something u can easily make into a movie cos movies have a beginning,conflict,climax n anti-climax,my stories are inter-twined and can only work for episodic viewing,nonetheless whoever steals it would only make me famous

Q- It is my prayer that u would become famous and rich through ur writeups,u r talented,u've developed in ur writing ways,u r superb - Afeez H

A- Thanks afeez,am grateful

Q- Hello deary,am nifemi and I love ur stories but I feel like u r lying,yelz,that's what I feel,if u want to prove me wrong,link me with ur brother Karl,I love him -Nifemi F

A- Hahaha,wow nifemi,why Karl and not me?lol,u funny,would let Karl know anyway n if he fancies u,he would contact u

Q- Nawao,u this guy sha,u r weird oo,puting ur family stories out as if its nothing,if I were ur brother,I for don kill u since- Isa K

A- hmmn,thank God u r not my brother, :)

Q- Slow and steady wins the race,so the saying goes,from a humble beginning on FB,uve gone on Blog,by God's grace u would go on tv,print books and all making huge sellers and blockbusters by the grace of God,ur enemies would see u rise to prominence in their life time,u really r trying man,I love ur piece- Henry C

A- Ameeeennnnn oooo,thanks bro


Q- What happens at the end of the whole show?the suspense is killing man- Bolaji O

A- lol,how am I suppose to know,its not a fictional write up that I know the end,its events as it happens n d suspense keeps u interested,thanks for ur love

Q- I love ur brothers physique,y don't u gym as well and shouldn't u conduct an interview with ur brothers for fans of #kuwda to atleast hear them speak,we fans hear d story through u,we should hear from them through an interview,lolz,what do u think- Bimpe M

A- hmmmmn,that's a good idea,would try and work on it n about physique,well I love me d way I am n also I think all of us gyming would make the brothers rather perfectionists,they should have a weak link,the odd one out,I love people who work out but I don't hv d time or energy,but ironically,am d cutest,aren't I? *winks*

Q- Who is the kim amongst u brothers?- Jide O

A- Hahaha! Ummmmn! I don't kno,I guess me,whew! Time to make a sextape,lolz

Q- Hey man,u need massive promotional duties oo,ur stuff is genius,u shd contact linda ikeji na- Jide L


A- Lol,I wouldn't mind if u can make it happen

Q- young man,I love ur piece,its really a nice concept but it has to be more controversial,more explicit,more thought-provoking and more comedic,I kno its reality but ur family is one crazy family,I would love to meet u guys- Mr Dan

A- Awww! Thanks Mister,am grateful


Q- I imagine ur blog generating so much traffic like linda does,I pray u get that and more,u deserve it,thanks for sharing ur talent with us- Maryam P

A- Thanks dear,am grateful and I say amen

Family reunion 4

Hell hath no fury lk a woman scorned....so the saying goes,but it is also an old adage that says a woman's problem is another woman,on this fateful day,the whether was quite clement,she sat on her bed tucking her legs into her stilettos as her long hair tumbled over her bare shoulders and back in messy curls,Mom had always dressed fab whenever she was going to give a presentation at office meetings or meeting people for the first time or going for a feline cat fight as it was today,she believed it boosts her confidence and creates a certain fear in her "opponents", "Mom,all these are unnecessary" Hamz who strolled into Mom's room in a tank top and "kukere" jeans opined, Mom sighed, looked up and said its the downside to being an Adagiri, "I hate ur father's family,they r draining me but to protect ur trust funds,I hv to maintain an appearance at the reunions" she said with another sigh, there was nothing we all could do than to watch her dress up,she stood up to apply her loose powder at the lighted mirror on the wall when we heard a soft knock on the mahogany door,we looked at each other as Karl went to get the door,standing at d doorway was Ubaida Adagiri, Mom's sister-in-law,looking well dressed in her lace gown,she smiled at Karl and without being told to come in,she briskly walked in,looking all around for Mom and asking where she is,Mom quickly grabbed for her wrapper and tied around her boobs as she was only putting on her victoria's secret uplift bra and black leggings,Ubaida came into the room,greeted Mom pleasantly and sat down at the edge of her expansive bed, "Mama QT,don't u think all this is stretching for just tooo long,this silly woman we call our mother-in-law keeps threatening us,traumatising us,making us leave our jobs,risking getting fired at our places of work,making our lives hell, am tired and I see it in ur eyes that u r also tired and of all of us,u've been the only one brave enough to stand up to her on several occasion,we need to combine forces and stand up against her,am beyond fed up" ,Mom who kept dressing up,smiled, "well I don't kno what we can do other than endure this reunions and go on to our respective homes and lives,its not so much to start a drama over" Mom replied trying to maintain a diplomatic stand,u never can trust women anyway,Ubaida stood up,stamping her feet annoyingly and lamenting over the ordeal she's suffered in the hands of the Adagiri matriarch,saying she couldn't take it no more,while they were at it,I kept acting like I wasn't listening to what they were saying,pinging away,chatting with my friend tuby who was having some family drama of his own and jamal inundating me with gists about how he's balling in lagos,Mom still trying to play the whole thing down suggested they just be patient and try not to react whenever the matriarch starts with one of her threats or outbursts, Maryam Adagiri,another sister-in-law to mom and one of our late uncle's wife also tricked in,one by one,all the Adagiri wives were in Mom's room and they all agreed that they had had enough of their monster-in-law's ordeals,Mom was beginning to feel a sense of responsibility to lead the women to the promise land,ever the amazon,lol,her head began to "swell" as the other women encouraged and praised her for her strength and boldness,Mom should have known better
       The Adagiri wives,all cladded in their killer heels,louboutons,war paints of makeup and hair styled to perfection all descended the stairs to have a meeting with the matriarch and other well placed extended relatives of the Adagiri family,the matriarch had ensured the women all look well dressed and look smashing for such meetings as the local press are always on hand to cover such events and report to all and sundry that one of our hometown's big familes are still intact and looking fabulous. The meeting started in earnest and as usual,dad's mom barked orders,rules and generally terrorized the women,Mom cleared her throat,stood up and asked the matriarch to shut it, "WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS?,she shouted, "ALL U DO IS MAKE OUR LIVES HELL,OVER WHAT,HUH? DOES IT MAKE U HAPPY WHEN U DO THAT?ALL UR 9 SONS DIED IN UR LIFETIME ,RATHER THAN PULL US THEIR WIDOWS CLOSE,U THREATEN US,MAKING US REALISE WHOEVER REMARRIES FORFEITS WHATEVER INHERITANCE DUE TO HER,HOW MUCH IS THIS FUCKING INHERITANCE WORTH ANYWAY", everyone quieten down,grams looked totally aghast,the 8 sisters-n-law all avert their gaze,Mom looked around her,there was no support or looks of reassurance,she knew immediately she was alone,but rather than shiver,she looked up bravely,grams stood up,laughed mischievously and ordered Mom out of her house,mom defiantly walked out of her presence,came upstairs and announced to us we've been sent packing,without much ado,we packed our stuffs and happily went out of the palatial home and as we shut the door,we heard her shouting to the rest of the women,we were just glad to be out,but we knew we haven't heard the last of our paternal grandmother! Whew! we boarded our car,onwards to the federal capital, KEEP UP

Family reunion 3

Aaliyah sat,perched on a stool like a goddess in flowing beige gown that draped over her hot body, her silhouette visible as the wind blowing from a standing fan beside her made the gown cling to her curves, her long weave blew beautifully,I stood by her door which was open and stuck there,couldn't muster the courage to go in,she was totally oblivious of my presence,I must have stood there forever when Aaliyah's brother who is my pal pushed me in,I was really upset at his action but Aaliyah had already turned in a startled state and saw us,with her mouth turned at the corners,giving me a condescending look,she asked me sternly what I wanted,I decided to channel my lovestruck look,looking forlorn and sheepishly in love,I knelt in front of her as I tried to hold her hands but she quickly withdrew her hand,I apologised and gave her lots of excuses why things have been the way they are and she should try and see reasons but nonetheless,I've been a coward and haven't been man enough to come forward and express how I truly feel about her,she kept shaking her head stylishly,trying to feign annoyance,I really wanted to laugh but I reaaaalllly fought it back,I begged and begged and even explained am suppose to be on my way to our hometown at that moment but risked Mom's wrath to be with her. After what seemed like forever,she made me promise never to treat her the way I did before and also professed her affections for me,I blushed and averted my gaze like a male virgin being asked out by a girl, she held up my chin as we move in for a kiss when "TAN TAN TAN",the loud sound of my ringing phone broke up the moment and I instantly knew I was in trouble, "OH MY GOD,ITS MY MOM" I exclaimed as I hurriedly pecked her on the cheeks and dashed out as she came running after me but I couldn't wait,I ran outside,flagged down a bike man and didn't wait to negotiate the price of the fare as he took me home
           At home,Mom kept insulting my brothers for trying to cover for me as all couldn't say specifically where I went and what for,pacing back and forth,she tried my number for the umpteenth time as I didn't pick,Karl and Hamz all pretended to be trying me,at that moment,I walked in into our compound,at sighting me,she shouted at me,demanding to know where I went knowing fully well we had a trip,I apologised and lied I went to give back something I borrowed from a friend n I only remembered I hadn't returned it that morning,we all entered the new car as QT kept grinning behind the wheel,obviously at the thought of driving the new car,Hamz jokingly poked him over and over again,Mom asked for silence as we prayed for journey mercies,QT started the car and we zoomed off.
      The journey went well and we slept off most of the time,though we stopped on the way so Karl would take over from QT and drove us,that meant QT had to stay awake to direct him,I smiled as I tucked myself well into the car seat and slept some more,delighted over my luck at neither driving nor directing. We got to our hometown and met some of our aunties and cousins also arriving,as usual,the matriarch of the ADAGIRI dynasty came out looking happy and radiant,her gold teeth symbolising her trip to the holy land catching the rays of the sun and reflecting all around,she hugged us and completely ignored Mom,it wasn't new,infact,it was the norm such that if she ever greeted Mom,she consults her islamic cleric to ensure her greetings didn't have a sinister motive,I've always wanted to talk some sense into dad's mom but Mother sternly warned me against it,"I don't want to loose u" she would say, everyone is particularly fond of Karl and the family all gathered,fussing around him as I picked up our luggage and going into the big family house,Mom exchanged greetings with her sisters-in-laws and they all complimented her new car,Mom simply smiled and thanked them. Lunch was served and Mom gave us the make-sure-u-pray-before-u-eat look, as we started eating,grams started her zinging,firing Mom first, "so Mama QT,am surprised to see u,didn't u go and marry another rich man?what happened?he divorced u?he must have seen ur true colour,seen u for what u really are,snagging up rich men" she said with so much disgust,Mom looked on,not saying a word,grams continued as all the other wives of grams' sons looked on,eating quietly and not saying a word, "I admit u r very beautiful and u used it to trap my late son,*looking up* oh,oh,oh,death,u wicked angel that brings bad tidings,my son,may ur soul rest in perfect peace, am shocked ur evil ways didn't work with your latest millionaire squeeze,u lowly little thing,I might have to endure having u as a daughter-in-law but trust me,I would make it hell for u" she said,stamping the dining table with her fork to emphasise her statements, Mom simply heaved a long sigh, as she looked lost in thought, *FLASHBACK 23 YEARS AGO*
"Are u sure about me,oh my God,I feel so nervous" Mom a young,beautiful woman then said as dad brought her to meet his mom, "common babe,you would love her,trust me" dad said,holding her hands and leading her into the very expansive home of the Adagiris, "Ahhhhh! My son,oh my son!" Grams exclaims excitedly as seeing her son,Mom promptly knelt down,greeting her would-be future mother-in-law, she welcomed both of them,dad was quite the player until meeting mom changed all that,grams simply thought mom was one of his conquests, "ah my son,this girl is beautiful,she is ehn,u kno,hehehe,the room is free ok,ur dad went to pray,quickly take her in" she said,Dad smiled as Mom looked away smiling,Dad cleared his throat and introduced mom properly, "Em Mom,this is Hajar,I love her so much and she's the girl I intend to spend the rest of my life with,I came to show her to u to receive ur blessings and help rate her,hehe" he beamed with smiles at his achievement, Grams gave Mom a condescending look,smiled wryly as Mom looked at dad's face for some form of reassuring, "who are ur parents?" She asked, "em,thank you man,am from the 3rd clan and my dad is an islamic cleric and a teacher and my mom a seamstress" , grams gave her an icy look that could kill, "am sorry sweetheart,my son has just been deceiving u,he has someone he would marry,its ok if u allow him tap u and dump u but there's no way u r going to marry my son" ,Dad lost his cool,snapping at his mother,insisting he won't be part of her schemes with her friends to network their families and business empires through marriage,that he's in love with Mom and she's well educated,urbane and someone he connects with,Mom and son broke into a heated argument
*REALITY*
Grams kept insulting Mom as Mom looked on,obviously going in n out of thoughts as she kept on thinking about how she ended up with this monster-in-law,Karl cleared his throat and broke in,speaking in pure american twang,asking grams to quit insulting Mom, Grams smiled,placed her elbows on the dining table and leaned forward towards Karl saying "am not a monster she must have portrayed me to be,trust me she's the witch,she's talented in snagging up rich men and killing them,she killed my son, as she welled up some tears and shaking as though she has really suffered a bad fate in her life,Mom who was looking without saying a word drifted back to her thoughts
*FLASHBACK at her wedding*
*the master of ceremony asks the bride to go and sit on her new mother-in-law's laps as the guests and well-wishers clap and cheer as mom coyly stands up and goes to meet her*
Sitting on her laps,they both pretended to be so fond of each other and hugged each other,Grams whispers into Mom's ears, "I asked u not to marry my son and u did,welcome to hell daughter-in-law"
Mom held grams by the shoulder,smiled at her as people continue to cheer and clap on,she hugged grams again and whispered back, "we are both mrs adagiri now and I'm the apple of ur son's eye,u prick me,ur son goes blind,but would I allow that to happen? mother-in-law,never underestimate any girl,I would show u am no push over"
*REALITY*
I gently tapped Mom on her hands to shake her out of her thoughts,she's really battled with her monster-in-law but she's quite tired out but grams isn't relenting,we stood up and left for our rooms,getting there,Mom whipped out some sticks of incense and struck a match,lighted the incense and waved around the room to ward off any bad spirits or evil spells,the other wives of dad's equally late brothers did all sorts of stuffs to wade off bad spirits in their rooms as well,it is that time of the year again when the battle of the sistes-in-law begins, one monster-in-law, 9 sisters-in-law, the Adagiri dynasty as the battle field,it is often said that the problems of a woman is another woman,so let the war begin! KEEP UP

family reunion 2

"Why do we have to attend this silly reunions anyway" Karl lamented as he dropped another set of clothes in his travelling box, "I mean,what do they do there,aside traumatizing Mom,enduring sneers and jealousy amongst sisters-in-law,comparing acquisitions of vanity and mother-in-law barking new sets of rules and screaming down our lungs whoever of her daughters-in-law gets married forfeits her share of the family inheritance,bla bla bla" he whined,putting more clothes in his travel box,Hamz smiled,lying down on the bed with his hands clasped behind his head in a relaxing mood, "you didn't call her ur grandma,simply mother-in-law,haha,face it bro,she's ur grandma n no longer Mom's mother-in-law" QT who was coming in at the moment from the corridor smiled and nodded in confirmation, Karl pushed me to join in the conversation,saying "Maj! What do u think of all these,we should boycott these silly reunions,I hate dad's mom", I paused from "pinging" my friend keme who I jokingly call kemediorkpa,looking abit confused but aware they were talking about the family reunions,after a brief pause and expectant faces of my brothers waiting for my take on the matter,I responded " c'mon brothers,its just a week out of a year,we would survive,let's not forget we have our trust funds to protect and grams hates Mom,she won't hesitate to strip us of our trust funds if we don't show and accuse Mom of stoping us from coming" Hamz laughed and agreed, "I so much need the money bros,with the state of unemployment in this country and broke situation of majority of people,I could use some trust fund that by virtue of being a male child and d ADAGIRI blood flowing through me,I rightly deserve,a week I agree with Maj wouldn't kill me,am use to drama by now" everyone smiled except Karl who was still sad about travelling the hundreds of kilometers to the countryside, "cheer up bro!" QT said patting him on the back, as Karl rubbed his eyes,pretending to be crying and dropping some boxers into his bag as I shrieked,"U HAVEN'T WASHED THIS BOXERS,TAKE THEM OFF!" QT and Hamz laughed saying they really much loved that I bring the feminine touch to the fold with my squeaky clean ways and cooking the food,etc. Mom was in her room,whenever we approach setting out on the trip to our hometown,she feels so sad and forlorn and she can't help it,her monster-in-law is truly a monster
        QT and Karl checked the toyota venza Mom's ex gave her as birthday gift to ensure all is well before we engage on our journey,my friend keme and I kept chatting on bbm,he's quite a funny guy hunged on his good looks which at first is admirable but I kept help but taunt his declining looks,as this went on,I got a text from Aaliyah,my date for valentine,remember fans? Telling me of her disappointment in me and feeling used and dumped even after helping me "smoothen" my ego and saving me from an embarrassing situation in my house and not only that,learning of my sleeping with isioma from a mutual friend of theirs,OMG! The pure water I was drinking and held with my teeth fell off my mouth,she regretted knowing me and wants me to loose her number and henceforth stay away,"goodness God" I thought, as I looked up looking scared at the thought of me staying away,QT asked what was wrong as Karl looked at me and Hamz busy loading the car boot with luggages all took breaks from what they were doing and staring at me,I explained all Aaliyah said and asked for their opinion,Hamz laughed saying "bro, just accept ok,its over,Aaliyah just dumped ur ass....OUCH!" ,"its not funny Hamz,seriously its not funny" I retorted, "but u guys weren't exactly official" Karl asked, "well yea we weren't but we were moving towards that,she trips for me but I don't kno,I feel awkward cos her brother is a close friend of mine and if things fess up and we break up,it might spoil things between her brother and I" I replied, QT came towards me and patting me on the shoulders,he said "if u really care about this girl,don't let ur friendship with her brother be an hindrance,just go for it", I felt a wave of determination sweep through me gingering me up to go get my girl but Karl adviced otherwise,saying I needed to take it slow,QT and Hamz both said no at the same time,Hamz asked me to go for it,that was all the motivation I needed as I started on my way,running towards the gate to get a cab to take me to Aaliyah's house, "WHERE ARE U GOING TO?" Karl shouted after me, "I WOULD SOON BE BACK" I shouted back as I ran out,Mom was descending the stairs,coming towards the car as she asked if we were all set,my brothers looked at each other,stammering,not knowing what to say,"what's the problem?" She asked,looking confused ,"where's Maj?"....KEEP UP

Family Reunion 1

"Take your leg" I said to Karl as I pushed his leg off my thighs as my hand brushed against his early morning hard on as he sleepily chewed at his mouth and slept in some more,I smiled as I compared his manhood with my brothers and I whose own is quite bigger and I just concluded in my head that Karl's own is like a typical white's manhood,pinkish and small,I smiled again and yawned loudly,covering my mouth as I threw the duvet aside and lazily climbed out of bed,went to the window and threw the persian-styled curtains apart,the early morning rays of sun flashing in as I quickly blocked my eyes from the sharp rays of the sun. It was 7:05 am in the morning of a saturday and my family were still sleeping,it is usually like that in our household during weekends as I drew in fresh breaths of the early morning air then walked towards the bathroom to brush my teeth,Karl kept tossing around the bed,deeply asleep,after brushing my teeth,I went downstairs to start preparing breakfast of bread and tea with omelette,but before then,I went to open up the windows to let in fresh air and let out stale air from the previous night,as I spread the curtains and opened up with wide windows,I big,bright,red ribbon caught my eye and I quickly took a second look,it was a huge red bow with ribbons tied to a car,my mouth went agape,wondering how a car with ribbon got into our compound,parked right in front of the house,I went outside and called suleiman,our gateman,he came running towards me and I pointed to the car,which was a toyota venta,"how did this car get here", I said, "oh, bro Maj,good morning oo,ehn! Na oga madam before before oo,he came and said today na mummy's betday and he said na him gift be dat" he said in pidgin english,it suddenly occurred to me it was Mom's birthday and I went "oh", as I bit at my fingers,tottally suprised Alh Mohammed could send Mom a gift,for new fans,Alh Mohammed is Mom's ex hubby after my dad,the car looked lovely and new and flashy but would Mom accept this gift?it looked too grand and it looked like he was trying to get Mom back,I smiled as I checked the car around,walking around it,I saw a big card placed on the bonnet with the inscription "happy birthday sweetheart,here,my token to show my undying love for you,happy birthday..from Alh Mohammed",I bursted out laughing as suleiman also joined in,laughing,Karl had woken up in the room by then and he stared out of the window,asking me what's up and sighting the car,asked where it came from,as he came rushing down the stairs and whistled as he checked up the car,wanting to take the keys from me and I quickly missed his hand to prevent him doing so, "the gift is for Mom,from Alh Mohammed,so we have to chill and let her wake up,its her bday! Remember?" I said, "oh yea I do know its her bday,wow! This man must still be pinning for Mom,this car is dope,I love it! She should accept it" Karl responded, we went in as QT and Hamz also came down as Karl told them the news and they quickly went to check up the car,Mom came down some minutes later after hearing excited noises downstairs and we wished her happy birthday,I brought out the cake we had prepared the previous day and we hugged and kissed her and when she saw the gift her ex-hubby brought,she was shocked,Hamz begged her to accept the gift,she simply nodded her head and called Alh. Mohammed,telling him she can't accept it as it was too grand,Hamz and Karl were making faces,urging her to accept it,Mom sighed and said thanks as we all cheered silently,we couldn't believe we've gotten another fabulous ride to add to our minimal fleet,lol,we took the ride on a spin as we checked up all the lovely inbuilt gadgets in the car,it was a cool ride and it really made our day,as soon as we got home,had our breakfast,ate cake,Mom got a call,it was that time of the year when we go for the annual family reunion of the ADAGIRI family,Mom's heart skipped a beat,whew! We all know what it means,annual meeting of drama,we all shared knowing glances....48 hours and we would be on our way to our hometown....with our new ride,this is bound to cause upheavals....u bet....KEEP UP

Eery 2

...Karl yanked the door open and we rushed out and went straight to Mom's room, we opened the door and went in,QT and Hamz came in after us,sitting on the bed,grabbing her duvet to herself,Mom was shaking on the bed and pointing towards the mirror where she usually applied makeup and all,we all looked towards the side and saw nothing,Mom was stammering,I went to her and embraced her and telling her to calm down,quietly asking her if she had a nightmare,she shook her head saying no,gently saying she saw our late dad standing near the mirror,my brothers smiled and said Mom simply had a nightmare,Mom shook her head vigorously,hitting the bed and screaming, "DO U THINK AM A KID?I CAN'T DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN NIGHTMARE AND REALITY?" "Mom pls calm down" I said calmly,Karl,QT and Hamz apologised as Hamz rolled his eyes,I made an angry face at him,he turned his mouth at the corners and they slowly filed out of the room,I stayed with Mom still. As QT grabbed the door knob and tried to open the door,the door pulled back fast n shut itself,my brothers quickly moved back,Mom n I jolted up from the bed "YOU SEE THAT!! YOU SEE THAT!!!" Mom said pointing at what just happened,we all moved back towards the master's bedroom's toilet as we began praying,wind blowing into the room making whistling sounds, "the bracelet!!" Hamz exclaimed, "throw it away Mom" ,"yea Mom,that's a good idea,pls throw it away" I said, "what bracelet?" Karl asked,we looked all around for the bracelet as we kept praying but couldn't find it,the wind kept howling,it was truly eery,I've never seen my muscle flexing brothers so pale and scared out of their minds before,the hairs on Karl's head seem to literally stand upright,goose pimples all over our bodies,Hamz made for the light switch to switch on the light in the room but the bulbs blew as he did,security lights from the compound reflected in and served as the only way of seeing our way around the room abit, suddenly Karl sighted a dark silhouette on the wall,it looked like a floaty shadow of a man,Mom was shaking uncontrollably by now,the wind got cooler,I was mumbling quranic verses,It all felt so surreal and unbelievable but it was happening,we only see stuffs like this on tv but here we are,sons and mother trapped in their room by fear,wind whistling,dark floaty shadow of a man floating on the wall around the house,what were we to do,my phone was with me and I flicked it on,trying to make a distress call to neighbors, "tan tan tan tan" no call reception, "what?" I thought,this room which normally has full bars of network,wow,something is going on, "make the damn phone call son" Mom whsipered, "no network mom,no network,the floaty man has zapped the network" Mom bursted into tears,wiping her tears with her two hands,she hesitated abit then she spoke out "Ahmed,our sons and I did you no wrong,you know we love you deeply but uve gone to be with the lord,you are scaring us,pls just go away,we've taken solace in God and believed you've gone to a better place,u scaring me ahmed,I love you babe but just go,pls ahmed sweet", like magic,the wind stopped blowing,but it all seem to vanish behind the curtain and a figure of a man can be seen behind the curtain,Karl was already drooling on his pyjamas in paralysing fear,I've never seen him looked so white,my hands were sweaty, Hamz cowered under my arms, "is that u ahmed?" Mom said,almost whispering, a slightly strong wind blew towards us from the window as we all screamed "LAHI LAHA ILLALAU", Hamz had started crying,but I couldn't cry,I was just too numb and shocked to cry,I wish I could cry but the tears seem not to flow, "Maj! Are u not going to cry?" Hamz asked,with my arm around his neck as he shivered under me,I gave him a look lk did-u-just-asked-that?, everything quieten down abit,Mom asked the same question again but we got no response,it was as though I was watching an episode of paranormal activities or one of those films,I rushed into Mom's toilet as my family thought the floaty man was coming for us and ran after me,I took the jar of sea salt Mom uses to sterilise her toilet seat,I opened it,dipped my hand into and took a handful,went out n poured towards the curtain,the windowm made a shaking sound like someone wants to pull the louvres out and everything went still and the lights came on as Karl squealed in terror at the sudden turn on of lights, Mom thanked God and we all joined her to thank God,Karl turned to me and asked us to go back to our room,I looked at him like he just said something so stupid,I jumped on Mom's bed,"am not leaving this room" ,we all climbed on the bed,meditating and saying silent prayers as mom who was crying would occasionally wipe her tears,sniffing and mumbling prayers,Mom called few relatives and she urged us to stay calm, suddenly "ALLAHU AKBAR.." And we all screamed again before realising it was the call to prayer in a nearby mosque,we looked at each other,wanting to laugh but yet couldn't n we climbed the bed again and one by one,we drifted to sleep....KEEP UP

Eery feeling

*the loud pitch tenor voice of an opera singer in the backgroud*

The hall is pitch dark with reflection of light coming from the stage,a man and woman dressed in medieval roman costumes belting high notes and singing their hearts out,men in the audience looking spellbound and women fanning themselves,breathing hard,captivated by the singers on stage,my brother's voice broke my attention

"Oh my God,Maj,are u teary?" Hamz's voice jolted me from my reverie,I was so taken with the opera I was listening to my eyes got tearful,I quickly wiped away my tears with the back of my palms as I responded,"oh Hamz,its opera...opeeeraaaa" I stressed, "yea,I know and am super bored" Hamz retorted, "oh Hamz,opera and classical music are an amazing art and makes u appreciate things better,especially things around u and also nature" I tried to convince my younger bro, "NO WAY! I wanna go home,I don't know why I followed u and Mom here,a normal guy shouldn't shits like this unless they are gay" Hamz snapped,I rolled my eyes as Mom asked us to both quiet down, "that's the stereotype" I countered, "listening to classical music and operas has nothing to do with homosexuality,gays watch footballs too u kno" I replied, "I just want to go home" Hamz said with a long yawn as he sinks back into his cushioned seat. Mom has always been a lover of art and classical music and the opera since her teenage years and of all her children,I was the one who absorbed the love for the arts and especially opera,I find it relaxing and intriguing. A week before,Mom came home from work beaming with smiles,telling me an opera show would be taking place at the dome in the federal capital and we should all come,QT and Karl quickly declined coming as I jumped with excitement at the news,asking which company or organisation put up the show,Hamz who was eating on the dining table,smiled and reluctantly agreed to come with us just to see what it was all about. Back at the theatre,Hamz whipped out his phone and started playing games on this phone and the sounds distracting people around us,I would occasionally make to grab the phone and he would quickly stretch his hand out of my reach,Mom gave us both an icy look that could kill,snapping her fingers at Hamz,demanding for his phone and he grudgingly handed the phone to her, "its about how achilles fell" I whispered to Hamz,he gave me a condescending look then turning back to stage,he whispered back, "I thought they were going to teach amazing sex styled",I almost chocked on my outburst of laughter as I covered my mouth,Mom gave us another icy cool that says "last warning". The show went on for another 45 minutes and it came to an end,Hamz couldn't be happier as he sprang to his feet,dusting himself unnecessarily and looking ready to get out of the venue as Mom greeted friends and other opera goers,as we made to leave,Mom bumped into an indian-burmese man,he wore a white suit and cream head turban with herbert Macaulay-styled mustache,he also came to watch the opera,Mom quickly apologized as the man said its cool,his accent and voice sounding like an extra on spongebob's cartoon,we made to go and he called Mom back,greeted her again and asked if she was a widow,Mom looking surprised said yes and inquired how he knew,he introduced himself as a vet doctor, dr ashish valayaeh from india,a prophet and very much connected to jinns,Mom took a step back,welcomed him to nigeria and bid him farewell,urging us to move along, " Lily of the beauty spring" he called out,Mom looked back in an instant,her face contorted with lines of shock,her mouth agape," that's what he calls you isn't it?" Dr ashish said" ,Mom's eyelashes twinkle rapidly as Hamz and I shared worried glances, "your late husband,that's what he calls you right?" He continued, "How on earth did you know that?not even our kids knows he calls me that", Mom said,her hands grabbing us tightly, dr ashish smiled and shook his head, "looking at you at the opera,I could perceive some force around you and I read "lily of the beauty spring"" he continued," you get troubles from your late husband's family don't u?" ,Mom who was by now convinced he must be what he said he is,stammered and answered, "ye...yea...yes...sir..they do", I pinched Mom slightly urging us to leave the place as we were beginning to be the last people in the hall as the cast and crew of the show were on stage having a meeting and taking down props, dr ashish smiled and asked me why am pinching my Mom,I was shocked and stammered "n...no,I..er...I wasn't doing that", "don't lie son" he countered, facing Mom,he gave her a bracelet to be worn for 7 days and pray to a clean water when she gets home and drink,Mom asked what the bracelet was for and he simply said "protection....I leave u in peace" and he left. "Mom throw that thing away" I said the moment dr ashish left, "yes Mom,that man gave me the jitters,I support Maj,Mom thorw it away" but she didn't,she wiped a tear on her left eye and wrapped the bracelet in a tissue paper she brought out of her purse and put it inside and said she was going to find out about it,Mom is ever the type that contacts marabouts,soothsayers and the likes,I knew she wouldn't throw the stuff away,I said a silent prayer in my heart willing us all into the hands of God and we left for home.
    On getting home,we kicked our shoes off as Hamz jumped on the sofa,lamenting to Karl and QT how much he suffered listening to crap they call opera,Mom didn't say much,only that we make sure we lock up the whole place and ensure the security lights were switched on before we go to bed,I prepared me some green tea and sat watching wrestling with my brothers on cable,as I got dizzy,I went upstairs and got into bed and few minutes later,heard as my brothers were still discussing the wrestling bouts climbing upstairs as QT and Hamz went into their rooms bidding Karl goodnight,Karl came into the room,turned on the light as I cringed as the rays of light hit my eyes,he smiled and apologised, quickly took off his clothes,leaving just his briefs and got into bed, "what's the meaning of this rubbish Karl,wearing just briefs and getting under the duvet with me,I don't like it" he laughed and said "we can't be gay and incestuous at the same time lovely brother of mine,remember who once said that?" I smiled and he turned off the light and we went to sleep.
     It must have been around 2am,I felt a chilly breeze sweep through the curtains into the room,it felt good as I turned under the duvet so the fresh air would hit my behind which has got heated up as I slept on it for hours,Karl's soft snooze had quieten down,his "american" hair all scattered,I thought I heard the door creak or maybe I thought I was dreaming,Karl's essays on the reading desk opposite the desk blown on the ground by the wind,my half open eye lids slid back tight as I slept,suddenly I heard a frightening scream coming from Mom's bedroom as she called God's name,I woke up with a start,Karl woke and switch on the lights,"robbers" he said,he quickly made for the chest of drawers and opened the last chest which is always locked,he pulled out a revolver,all this happened quickly,I covered my mouth in shock! "U have a gun K? I asked, "ofcourse,I was once in the US army" was all he said as he made for the door,I quietly tiptoed behind,calling my brothers with my phone,we opened the door and.... KEEP UP