Thursday 27 July 2017

Rumour has it!

"...Rumour has it that your hawt hawt oyinbo brother is now dating Shalewa the sly hoe!"

Amina, a former crush and now a platonic friend of mine upon getting married chimed as we catch up having lunch at an eatery close to my house on her dime along with other mutual friends amidst a lot of mirth.

"Hmmmn! WHAT?"

I exclaimed, chuckled then replied saying I would be the first to know if Karl was seeing someone,

"...We live in the same house and share a room, trust me, I'll know but really, he's not seeing anyone, he's just really taking his time"

 I reckoned with a careless shrug, shoveling a spoonful of fried rice into my mouth. Amina, a mixed, petite lady of Shua Arab and Fulani parentage is a lady who formerly lived on our street and back then, I had a huge crush on her primarily due to her stunning beauty that literally leaves men shaking with awe, very fair complexioned, slim with long black wavy hair but I knew I didn't stand a chance as from the look of things, her strict father already had her betrothed to a wealthy local chief in his hometown from her childhood and she had already resigned herself to that fate but we managed to stay friends and thankfully, because of my soft manly features, I was seen as harmless and without ulterior motives by her family hence our friendship was approved by her family thus I was about her only male friend approved by the family.

Amina shook her head sadly and reiterated her stance that Shalewa was seeing Karl albeit secretly, she knew this because "girls talk", I stopped in my tracks midway chewing a well fried chicken breast, almost choking on my food as Amina quickly handed me a cup of chilled yoghurt which I collected in a snap and downed it to clear my throat,

"Don't die biko, your mom will have my head on a platter"

She said amidst laughter joined in by our other friends Nima, Basherat, Kola and Zubair. Kola then quipped in an obvious banter for me not to freak out as it wasn't such a bad idea for Karl to date Shalewa regardless of public opinion about her as at some point, some man will still end up going to prostrate before her family carrying along barns of yam and other goodies to seek her hand in marriage,

 "Stop it Kola, this isn't funny, I'll find out when I get home but like I said, this is most likely to be false"


ACROSS TOWN AT SHALEWA'S HOUSE-

Karl was seated on the old fashioned camel-coloured corduroy cushion chair of her house, Shalewa came across the sitting room sashaying seductively and sat beside him, slowly caressing his hand with a smile in an apparent show to sexually intrigue him, it worked as Karl got the hint ostensibly as they had been getting intimate lately, Karl ran his fingers through her Afro weave down to the back of her head then pulled her towards him, giving her lewd looks all over, he licked her face as Shalewa held his strong arms then Karl carried her into her room to make love to her.

BACK AT HOME

I asked Hamz and QT about Karl and whether it was true he's indeed seeing Shalewa, QT denied it while Hamz confirmed it at the exact same time, I shook my head suspiciously while QT asked me to simply confirm with Karl when he comes back home,

 "Oh, he isn't even home? Where could he possibly be on his own?"

I asked, genuinely concerned,

 "Oh common Maj, Karl has been living with us since 2012, he's not a baby and can find his way around, he probably took a stroll"

QT explains , I nodded, again, with suspicion while Hamz made the sealed lips sign. I mumbled under my breath and walked out of the sitting room to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. The dinner of rice and beans mixed with sauce took a long while to get ready so it was a quarter past 10 pm when the family gathered around the dining table to eat and just at that moment, my best friend Tunbosun whom I jocularly call Tchubs from a blend of the initial first letter of his name and "chubby" since he's chubby called me, I got up and went towards the sitting room where, carried away by our conversation, I got quite excited and started gesticulating rather fiercely and laughing my heart out thus igniting my effeminate gestures in full bloom totally oblivious to me as my brothers chuckled at my behaviour and Mom simply wore her mouth in a rather ticked off pout.

Done with the call, I sauntered back to the dining table and Mom inquired why Tchubs was calling me at that time of the night, my brows squeezed into a puzzled frown, I went,

" What do you mean calling me at this time of the night? He's my best friend"

"But must he call you late in the night always? I'm uncomfortable with your relationship with him, who knows what you guys have going together"

Mom declared! My countenance went from a looking puzzled to fierce incensed in a flash,

"That's the silliest thing I've heard about myself! What's do mean by that Mom? I take offence to that. So I'm not allowed to have a best male buddy because it makes you suspicious that I might be having sexual relations with him simple because we are effeminate men? I'm hurt, if Hamz or QT or Karl has a male buddy calling late at night which of course happens, you won't bat an eyelid but if it's me, all alarm signs will go straight to red? Tunbosun and I share a deep connection stemming from our mutual pain which none of you can comprehend nor help, so he's my best buddy and you all have to deal with it plus he works at a radio station, closes late and that's the only time he can call me without interruptions"

 I snapped angrily,

 "Shut up your mouth there! Is it Mom you're talking to like that?"

 QT fired at me. Still embroiling with furore and looking for a scapegoat to transfer the aggression on, I fired back, telling him to also shut up as I was talking to my mother and not him, QT stood up to square up to an equally charged me but Mom quickly told us to calm down and sit down, she went slowly and calmly,

"All I'm saying is if you know you're having anything with the guy intimately, remember God wiped a whole country because of it"

Mom counseled me, I scoffed indignantly and replied,

 "Really mother? Our religious beliefs and dogmas aside, are you saying there were no homos in other part of the world when God wiped out Sodom? As close as we are, Tunbosun and I have never ever even hugged each other ever before, I make love to women but must I bang a woman before you to assure you?"

I roared, taking off my shirt as I got hot and sweaty, revealing an italicized art of my name just below my collar bone,  Mom responded swiftly

"Watch your tone and language young man, need I remind you that you are talking to your mother?"

Hamz swallowed and chimed in cautiously, saying he's actually found me making love to women more than once, going further, he said,

"The world is vast Mom, there are manly men who are gay, a lot of them and effeminate men who are straight also a lot of them... Society just chose to crucify effeminate men for it. The thing about stereotypes is that, it takes one person's story and uses it to generalize all others"

Mom nodded with understanding, trying to change the subject, she pointed in horror to my collar bone, looking aghast, she asked why in the world I would get a tattoo,

"Do you know the health and religious implications of getting a tattoo? Ehn? Abdulmajeed!!!" I smirked with irritation and responded, saying it was a henna art and not an actual tattoo,

 "...Amina wrote it for me, I told her to and it would clear off in time".

After dinner, I stayed apart from my brothers, still sulking then left for my room. Karl came in few minutes later as I came out of the bathroom so I confronted him with the allegations about Shalewa,

" How would you be getting with such a hoe bro? You should know better than.."

"Oh shut it Maj!"

He interjected rudely, my face immediately went ashen with shock, he continued,

"Don't come at me with such judgemental tone, that's the reason why you're the last to know stuffs going on in my life, you always assume you're perfect and can get to counsel others...seriously Maj, stop, I'm not in the mood to get into your drama! Shalewa is a nice girl, I understand the public perception of her but a lot of it is concocted or overly exaggerated, get to know her first before you draw conclusions pleeaaassse!"

He said dismissively, jumping into bed and immediately pulling up his duvet over his body, I stood speechless for a few seconds apparently shocked and mad, I nodded to myself then went to sleep! This isn't the last we are going to hear of this! Trust me!

KEEP UP!

13 comments:

  1. My question is, how did you know the exact thing happening across town at shalewa's?This episode is scripted
    -Bimbo,Lagos

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    1. Well, maj said this isn't the last we would be hearing of this, why not chill till the next episode to find out how he knew what exactly happened at her place, plus this is the first time karl has ever snapped at anyone. more so, to maj, they were suppose to be the closest brothers
      -Aisha Tijani, Abuja

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  2. I
    ve also had my suspicions maj might be queer but i love how hamz nailed it, it isn't a given that once you girly as a man, that's it, you're queer..good one, now i know better
    THE GREAT ANON

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  3. An impefect family, lovely!
    Cosmos, Benin

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  4. Maj isn't queer, i'm sure mom knows it and if he were, his brothers would know it, mom just needs reassurance on every level every now and then, lol, chill guys
    -Sarah Byne, Scotland

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  5. wow, i don't mean this the wrong way but right about time we get some draaammaaaaa, things went rather lukewarmm lately
    -Ryan Beckford, USA

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  6. drama brewing again huh
    -Kyle, usa

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  7. Touche maj..your point on geys being in other part of the world aside sodom..very thoughtful of you
    -Rebecca Saunders, Dubai

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  8. You guys are such cuties..i'm a new fan
    -Lola Vega, usa

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  9. maj still my fave adagiri
    -Bimpe, lagos

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  10. love me some hamz always

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  11. What Maj? You want to have monopoly in the judgemental market? I so love how Karl told Maj to get to know Shalewa first...

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  12. Maj is just trying to be protective, whats wrong with that?

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