Do a bruce jenner?

INTRO- I sat cross-legged quietly on the rug in my room in front of my laptop one hot afternoon,gazing intently at the computer screen,totally lost in my reverie when Hamz breezily walked into my room whose door was left ajar to let in cool wind,he tapped me softly on the shoulder and as I turned startingnly to face him,he looked me straight in the eye and with a worried facial expression asked me,

"Maj! I would like to know,will you one day like bruce jenner announce to us that you feel trapped in your body,that you feel your sex is wrong and want to be a woman?"

Shutdown

The day was tuesday around 12:30pm,the sun was directly overhead the city,pouring its fiercely stinging and hot rays down on earth's inhabitants so much I figured it was indirectly telling us why we need to make heaven.


Sometimes I wish I lived down south of nigeria as I reckon the sun shinning over there isn't as hot because of their geographical location unlike us who were up north and close to the equator. I puffed and panted tiredly as I fanned myself with a manual hand-fan,nepa or is it phcn had done the usual and the voltage of the inverter was too low to effectively carry all the appliances at home so I settled for watching tv and put off all other appliances to save energy while I fanned myself but unfortunately,the wind that came forth was very hot,I went to open the windows to let in breeze and it was a case of frying pan to fire as a gust of heatwave blew in my face,my throat instantly went dry as I stamped my foot in annoyance,letting out a groan to God to send rain.

Happy new month of may

Happy new month Amazeballs,this is wishing you a blessed month filled with sufficient grace,to you and yours!

My hope for you is that you realize today that no matter how hard it's been for you, no matter how much you think you have failed in the past - every new day is an opportunity to start all over again. I wish you new ideas, new energy, new determination, new excitement and God's guidance.

I know for sure your best is yet to come, so keep fighting. May all your dreams come true


Next episodes to come on Keeping up with the adagiris:-

Lying in state

There were once five female friends in secondary school!

Habiba, Ruth, Amina, Faith and Martha,

They were classmates and fast friends who did a lot of things together. Towards the end of their high school,Habiba was voted as likely to marry well,Ruth was voted as most likely to be a professor, Amina was voted as likely to be a successful business woman,Faith as most likely to be a supermodel and Martha as most likely to  die young!

Of all these ladies,only two truly came to pass,Habiba and Martha...Mom says of her,

"I think we all voted Martha as likely to die young because of her live-large and experimental attitude towards life,she was so carefree and did all sorts of dangerous things  that could put her life at risk"

Sadly,Martha did die unexpectedly but it wasn't her carefree lifestyle that killed her but the heartbreak of loosing a son,either way,her friends predicted right!

-72 HOURS EARLIER

Freshman at life

The electoral victory of the president-elect, General Muhammadu Buhari was still very rife in town, Okada riders defied federal government orders not to drive into town by speed biking through the city, displaying different death-defying stunts and leaving a lot of skid marks in their trail. Hamz jumped excitedly beside me at the back seat of Mom's toyota venza,hailing the men who sped past,he wound down his side glasses,snuck his head out and cheered at them, screaming "SAI BABA....SAI BUHARI" and they in turn cheered back in acknowledgment

I nodded sadly,burying my head into reading my Mom's latest edition of vogue magazine I had found left in the car's back seat whilst Karl who was behind the wheels smiled and shook his head rather sadly,asking Hamz to stop acting like an uncivilized human being,

"I understand why the majority of the nation's citizens  are excited over his victory and I am too but seriously? Are these all necessary?"

Life hacks

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THIS USELESS BOY"

Mom wailed,throwing her hands up,slapping and hitting Hamz all over which made him fall on the sofa,she kept hitting him hard,pinching and biting him as Hamz yelped in pain,I stood by,my arms folded across my chest,looking on,she continued

"WHAT DID I EVER DO WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BENT ON HUMILIATING ME AND RUINING MY REPUTATION AMONGST FRIENDS? EH! "

Mom's body quivered amidst sobs,looking up to the ceiling,her hands on her waist and tears running down each side of her eyes,I sighed and releasing my arms,I asked a now kneeling Hamz in a commanding tone to lie down flat on the floor,he gave me the side eye with a wry smile that says "how dare you", QT's voice suddenly resonated startingnly from behind us,

"HE ASKED YOU TO FUCKING LIE DOWN,WOULD YOU NOT OBEY HIM?"

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Grande sortie (grand exit)

(FINALE)

The night was still,the silence so profound you could almost slice through it with a knife,cool breeze blew forth from the airconditioner tenderly stroking my snoozy face which was deeply asleep,all was nice and calm until suddenly when I thought I heard a cackle of giggles sounding like the devilish mirth of salem witches followed shortly after by a slow and depressing undulating rhythmic tune synonymous with burial ceremonies,I suddenly felt a flush of heat sweep through me as I turned on the bed to allow some breeze cool my back which was wet with trapped dots of sweat creating a huge map of dampness on my pajamas. I kept drifting in and out of sleep,my eyelids sleepily fluttering as the tune of horror created nightmarish images in my head,I woke up with a start,feeling my immediate surrounding on the bed  for Hamz in the thick darkness of the room,my fingers hitting his parted lips which was slimy with drool,I felt his face all over,rubbing his
stubble just to be sure it was indeed him whereupon he moaned sleepily,shoving my hands off and changing his sleeping position,I sat up on the bed,waiting patiently to hear the scary tune again just to be sure I had indeed heard something of sort as I reached for my phone and punching a button to check the time,the phone lights came on,it was quarter past three am.


I sighed as I punched on my phone keypad,responding to chats that had popped in after I must have gone to bed,my eyes squinted almost to a close from the bright rays of the phone lights flashed directly unto my face...Few minutes later as I began to doze off,my head sleepily hitting the air,the devilish giggles echoed through the room again, startled,I sprang up,whispering "la hilaha illalau" the name of God,I turned to face Hamz and slapping him awake,I told him we needed to pray as I was hearing some strange sounds,he frowned his face waking up,hissed then turned around to sleep again,I went to the chest of drawers by the wardrobe to pick up a copy of the holy quran,my phone's torch light turned on,I quietly opened the door and tiptoed gently out of the room.

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Girl power

FOREWARD- In commemoration of the international women's day...treat every woman right

I think God made a woman to be strong and not to be trampled under the feet of men. I've always felt this way because my mother was a very strong woman, without a husband,There was a time when men thought it was sexy to have a housewife waiting for him to come home from work in her slippers, but in modern society, I think an independent woman is even more sexy. Beyonce succinctly puts it in her song,"independent women", the lyrics go thus "Tell me how you feel about this...who would i want if i wanna  live,i worked hard and sacrificed to get what i get,Ladies, it ain't easy being independent, Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I've  brought, Bragging on that cash that he gave you is to front,If you're gonna brag, make sure it's your money you flaunt, Depend on no one else to give you what you want". 

Happy new month of April

I forgot to wish you all my strong,vibrant amazeballs a happy new month,it totally escaped my mind,lol,so this is wishing you all a happy new month of april filled with blessings,successes and all good things desire to you and yours.

Upcoming episodes on Keeping up with the Adagiris-

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Queer eye for the straight guy

It is said that when we desperately want something,the best way to aim to get it is to simply take our minds off it. #succintlyput


- PLAY

"Your eyes...those eyes.."

She whispered softly,her hands ringed around my neck while mine were wrapped around her tiny waist,our eyes locked in a lustful gaze

"Yea? What about my eyes?"

I whispered back,smiling expectantly

"Your eyes...are queer"