MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Grande sortie (grand exit)

(FINALE)

The night was still,the silence so profound you could almost slice through it with a knife,cool breeze blew forth from the airconditioner tenderly stroking my snoozy face which was deeply asleep,all was nice and calm until suddenly when I thought I heard a cackle of giggles sounding like the devilish mirth of salem witches followed shortly after by a slow and depressing undulating rhythmic tune synonymous with burial ceremonies,I suddenly felt a flush of heat sweep through me as I turned on the bed to allow some breeze cool my back which was wet with trapped dots of sweat creating a huge map of dampness on my pajamas. I kept drifting in and out of sleep,my eyelids sleepily fluttering as the tune of horror created nightmarish images in my head,I woke up with a start,feeling my immediate surrounding on the bed  for Hamz in the thick darkness of the room,my fingers hitting his parted lips which was slimy with drool,I felt his face all over,rubbing his
stubble just to be sure it was indeed him whereupon he moaned sleepily,shoving my hands off and changing his sleeping position,I sat up on the bed,waiting patiently to hear the scary tune again just to be sure I had indeed heard something of sort as I reached for my phone and punching a button to check the time,the phone lights came on,it was quarter past three am.


I sighed as I punched on my phone keypad,responding to chats that had popped in after I must have gone to bed,my eyes squinted almost to a close from the bright rays of the phone lights flashed directly unto my face...Few minutes later as I began to doze off,my head sleepily hitting the air,the devilish giggles echoed through the room again, startled,I sprang up,whispering "la hilaha illalau" the name of God,I turned to face Hamz and slapping him awake,I told him we needed to pray as I was hearing some strange sounds,he frowned his face waking up,hissed then turned around to sleep again,I went to the chest of drawers by the wardrobe to pick up a copy of the holy quran,my phone's torch light turned on,I quietly opened the door and tiptoed gently out of the room.


On walking past the curve of the corridor towards the sitting room upstairs,the corridor lights dimmed  before bedtime creating quite the cover for me,my heart thumping furiously as though it wants to burst out,I noticed through the opened doors of the sitting room upstairs,rays of the  flat screen television lights were on,its moving lights reflecting on the wall just by the door,I sighed half-relaxed,atleast it meant there were no witches or voodoo activity going on in or around the house but who could it be that was in the sitting room upstairs by this time of the night?

I kept on tip toeing towards the sitting room,then stealthily peeking into the room to see who was there and just at that moment,I thought my entire life flashed through my eyes as I saw someone in white flowing robe trying to hit me with something that looked like a jagged boulder,my mouth opened to scream but my voice had suddenly gone lost and all that came out was a withered exhale,a strong arm emanated from the side of the white robe and pulled me towards him,I thought this was it,a nightmare unfolding before my very eyes,I muttered the name of God and willed myself to fate

"Oh lord! Majeed!"

My eyelids blinked rapidly as I snapped back to reality,

"Why were you sneaking up towards the sitting room,I thought it was an intruder that snuck in or something,I almost hit you with this speaker"


He said,showing me the rugged innovative speaker box as I sighed,standing properly,grateful to God all was well and I hadn't passed out,it was Alhaji Hassan and he had been up and watching a programme on cable about the exorcism of witches by a group of catholic priests and a television crew comprising of some psychologists,shrinks and psychics who specializes in casting demons out of humans and tracking unidentified flying objects in a perfect blend of religion and science which are documented and shown on telly as a sort of reality show hence the devilish mirth I had heard et al 

"What are you doing up sneaking around?"

Alhaji asked again,giving me a suspicious look,by now,my breathing had normalised and I was ok,I explained to him how I had heard some strange sounds and armed  with a copy of the quran and my phone torch,I came out to find out what was going on, Alhaji threw his head back and laughed,throwing one arm around my neck,he pulled me along with him to have our seat on the cushioned chairs and apologised for putting me through that,

"I must have increased the volume too loud or everywhere had gotten so silent the sounds easily drifted everywhere,all the same,am sorry but that was so funny of you picking a quran and a torch light,most men would pick a cutlass to attack a witch with but it's also quite smart of you,you picked God's holy book,it's the best weapon to fight metaphysical battles anyway"

I smiled,seeing as all is well,I figured it is best I bid him goodnight and go to bed but he signaled for me to come back,my brows arched expectantly,he motioned for me to sit down and I did,

"Am sure wherever your late dad is now,if he can see you,am quite sure he would be proud of the man you've become"

I flapped my eyelids rapidly in surprise,not knowing where this compliment is coming from,he continued,

"You know,I've watched you develop from when you were a kid and been following your writeups and I can honestly tell you am proud of what you are doing,channeling your issues into a sort of entertaining drama,it's quite ingenious of you,am proud"

I nodded in appreciation,bowing to him,I bid him goodnight and went back to sleep. When I got back into the room,I felt giddy with excitement knowing he follows my blog,soon after,I fell fast asleep.

The next day,which was a day to election,I had gotten ready to leave for abuja,my clothes neatly folded into my luggage,Hamz was not in bed,his sheet messy,I thought he was in the bathroom having his bath,I dragged my luggage to the sitting room upstairs,coming back into the room to check if I hadn't forgotten anything,I checked for Hamz's luggage to see if he had tidied up his clothes but I saw it was all scattered in the wardrobe,I was shocked

"Does this boy know we are leaving this state today?"

I thought aloud to myself so I went to knock on the bathroom door but got no response,I turned around in the room,not knowing where to look for him so I went to the sitting room,I checked around,he wasn't there either,as I came out of the room,I ran into Alhaji hassan who was on his way to the gym,he greeted me and asked if we were ready to leave,I nodded nervously,praying in my mind that Alhaji doesn't ask to see Hamz,he dug his hand into his tracksuit trousers and dug out wads of clean 1000 naira notes and handed it over to me,

"Use it for your transport,am sure with the presidential elections tomorrow,the fare might have gone up at the bus stations and my regards to your Mom and brothers ok?"

I nodded and prostrated to thank him,he smiled and patted me on the back,he then asked of Hamz,I stuttered a bit and said he was in the bathroom,he nodded and said we should go downstairs to have a cup of tea,I smiled and agreed as our footfalls made slapping sounds on the stairs as we descended.

On getting downstairs,the guest room door just before the main door leading into the house opened and Hamz snuck out like a rabbit,a bit sweaty,Alhaji and I stood still in utter shock,soon after,the busty househelp of the Hassans came out,her hair disheveled,tying her loose wrapper around her chest,Alhaji and I shared glances,the househelp who had now had started prancing in fear and scratching her head,Alhaji's face swiftly went from shock to furious,I became scared,

"What the hell were the two of you doing in the room? Ehn!"

He asked sternly,Hamz and the girl couldn't respond,he turned swiftly and went upstairs to his room,Hamz and I shared horror glances,he quickly held his trousers by one hand and dashed upstairs to our room while the houselhelp wailed sadly,clapping her hands and sobbing as her mighty mammaries bounced along with her body,pulling at her hair and wailing,I stood transfixed on the spot,not knowing what Alhaji was going to do nor Hamz,at that moment,Hamz literarily jumped over the flight of stairs with our luggages and pulling my hand as our luggages fell with a heavy thud on the ground as we heard Alhaji advancing downstairs and barking,enveloped with fear,I quickly grabbed my luggage and Hamz grabbed his as we dashed outside,ready to bolt away but the gate was still locked,the gateman was walking clumsily towards us,wondering what was wrong,Hamz screamed at him to open the gate but at that moment,Alhaji Hassan came out with a dangling horse whip in hand,he
commanded his gateman to hold Hamz as he barked,demanding to know where we were running to

"Is that how your Mom raised you boys? To come to peoples' homes to mess up their househelps?"

I quickly knelt down and begged him,telling him we aren't like that and that the girl might have seduced Hamz,he almost slapped me for that statement,he held Hamz and whipped him several times then he ordered us out of the house,I was beyond upset with Hamz whose body had marks sustained from the lashes all over him.

We took a bike to the bus stop and boarded an abuja bound bus,I sat in front and Hamz sat at the middle seat,totally snubbing him throughout the long trip,I paid our fares and when the bus got filled up,the bus started and onwards to the federal capital.

More drama awaiting at home,what happens next?

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