First impressions

Standing in front of the imposing edifice of Standex enterprises,i let out a petrified exhale,pulling nervously at my tie,whispering a silent prayer to God to help me scale through the interview successfully...yeah! I came for an interview

Two weeks back,my friend tuby sent me a link to a job vacancy at this blue chip company with headquarters in abuja, I'd hesitatingly clicked it after much pressure from my friend because I didn't think I stood a chance clinching the slot

"My cv isn't rich enough" I moaned "not when there are candidates out there with such impressive cvs,extra-curricular slash internship slash masters slash everything cool that would make you cringe on sight" I said heaving a sigh

"Just go ok! There's no harm in trying" he urged me,I nodded,telling him I will but knowing in my mind that I won't but somehow he gets to know if I haven't done what he wants me to do,he backs me into a corner and gets me to agree to swear with the name of God that I have done what he asked and he knows I don't joke with God,so I would confess I haven't,so remembering that,I decided to click the link and submit my cv

"They most probably won't call me anyway" I concluded,so I sent in my application letter and attached my cv without any hope of a response.


I got an email two weeks later confirming receipt of my email and scheduling me for an aptitude test/ oral interview,I was beyond elated,I called tuby to relay the good news,he was so happy,reminding me he told me I would be picked

"I guess because I didn't put my mind on it and believed I wouldn't be picked for an interview,God chose to surprise me" I responded,he wished me well while I went on to googling the company up,doing my background research on the company to help during my interview.


Standex enterprises is a subsidiary of Standex group of companies with world headquarters in Bahrain,they deal in all forms of engineering and construction work and If employed,I would be working in the admin section alongside being a personal assistant to the company's group general manager,the salary and perks looks yum,I went through their website to get their vision and mission statements and other basic info about the company,the colour of the company is royal blue so I'd begged mom to give me some money to buy a royal blue tie,she grudgingly gave me.


The economic situation in the country continues to be in a dire situation and the crunch keeps biting deeper,once again,we found ourselves having to compromise,cutting costs,buying food stuffs and ingredients at the market rather than at the mall and taking out one car at a time unless very very necessary we take two cars out a in a day and the situation at mom's place of work is getting more competitive amidst fears of impending job cuts,so that means less pay,more working hours,she need not tell us we should find a job and support her hence my looking for job frantically.


I walked into the lobby of the company on that fateful day,approaching the receptionist,I introduced myself and with a smile plastered on her face as though it's permanently there,she punched my name on her system and directed me where to go

"Board room on the tenth floor...just go and take the elevator to the tenth floor and second room by your left,you'd see a board room,just enter." She said with a smile and wished me goodluck,I thanked her profusely,I've learnt from mom to be very nice and courteous to "lowly" staff because as she puts it "your rise and fall in the workplace might be in their hands,never,never underestimate them"

So if am going to be working there,its best I start building a cordial rapport starting with the receptionist.

The elevator doors dinged open and I went in,punch number 10 and up it went,my hearts palpitating as I got closer to the tenth floor. The elevator doors dinged open again and I went out to the corridor and took the left turn as directed by the receptionist,I saw the sign "boardroom" and as I made to knock,I retreated my hand,nervous to death,I dug my hand into my pocket to fish out my phone and turn it off,took few deep breaths and knocked lightly on the door,I heard no response,I knocked again,waited abit,knocked the third time and entered...

...The white interior of the room apparently looked empty save the furniture and decor which is also all white,I looked around,looking confused that I might have entered the wrong room,while looking around,I saw a cctv camera with a red light flicking on and off to show am being recorded,I promptly turned around to leave when a husky voice with an european accent from a speaker ordered me to sit on one of the upholstered seats,abit startled,I turned around slowly and gently took my sit.

A minute or two later,a door which perhaps leads to an inner office flung open and out came a white man in his early to mid forties from his outlook with a moderate size paunch pushing forward his fitted suit and speckles of gray hair here and there over his poker straight black hair,wearing a gold rimmed spectacles,he asked how I was doing and if I felt lost when I walked into the room and met an empty place,I smiled nervously,nodding my head in affirmation

"Can't you talk...uh?,Mr...uh...uh...Ada..giiiri" looking at my file as he spoke rapishly in a sentence heavily accented with german notes stressing the last part of my surname.

"Em! Yes sir,yea,I really felt lost when I came in and abit startled when you called me back from a speaker" I said

"Well...am Mr vaughn bach and am the group general manager of this company...the one you'll be working for if employed" he said

I quickly rearranged myself on the chair again,straightened my suit and looking at him with rapt attention as Mr bach fiddled with his spectacles,he gave me a rather condescending look and uttered in german

"Dummer jan" meaning "Silly thing"

I looked down at my palms,squeezing my thumbs nervously,his voice called my attention as I looked up at him

"So tell me why you think you are the most suitable for this job,there are lots of candidates like you with your qualification and some have even had work experience and impressive cvs, why should I pick you?"

I cleared my throat,using that few seconds to buy time thinking about the perfect line to say as this totally took me unawares,I'd been researching about the company and forgotten to rehash my lines about what I would be bringing on board, "lord,am I done for" I thought

"Well.." I began, "I believe am best suited for this job because am a team player,very versatile and also willing to learn on the job,I try to meet deadlines and though am just starting out in labour market,standex enterprise is a place I've always dreamed of working and I..er....I hope to contribute my knowledge to the organisation as much as learning from it and your mission and vision goals is something I believe in"

I uttered,not sure if I'd just made a fool of myself or hit the right words,I tried to get answers from Mr bach's facial expression but nothing...it was blank and expressionless

He fiddled with his spectacles again,looking at my files and uttering in german

"Meine Tag ist nicht so gut, das Mann ist mein Prostrate hyperplasia mit dummheit Unterbrechung" which simply translates to mean

"My day isn't starting well,this man is just disturbing my prostrate hyperplasia with his stupidity"

My eyelids flickered rapidly,I quickly looked down and at that moment,remembered mom's words,

"never look scared or weak at interviews,look confident,look the interviewer in the eye without spooking him or her off"

I quickly looked up again so sharply,the man thought I needed something,I told him I was fine,he continued

"So young man,am german and am very needy and some people have described me as being hard to work with,my schedules are intense and sometimes I let rip...how do you hope to cope,dealing with both of us,you not loosing your cool and me not loosing mine?"


And here's how I flunked the job...I mean,is this even a valid question to ask at an interview?am not sure but I thought I was saying the right thing,here's my response

"I...er *clears throat* know germans are quite hard people and quite temperamental especially famous since the nazis but I've had quite a few german friends and am very much certain that I won't loose my cool and would manage your schedule well"

I knew in an instant after saying that what an error I'd made,I looked so stupid at that moment that inside me,i questioned my intelligence,asking whether am not intelligent afterall or just unsettled because am on a hot seat,making me incoherent and spewing trash, but it was too late...Mr bach took off his spectacles,his mouth open in pure horror

"Since the nazis you say???" He rasped

I swallowed hard and tried to explain but he raised his hands and told me I could take my leave,I knew nothing I would say can make him change his mind but between me and you, y'all know am right,right? No offense to my german fans here in nigeria and all over the world but really,germans can sometimes be quite temperamental...again,no offense

As I turned to leave,fighting back welling tears which made my eyes glassy,I looked back and uttered in german,totally shocking Mr bach to his marrow


"Ich weiß das ich meine Beruf verloren Habe aber Richter mich nicht....und über ihr postrate hyperplasia, du hast rot clover Blätter schnell besorgen Brauen und trinken dem jeder Tag bis das Symptom weg" simply put

"I know I've lost this job but don't judge me based on this...and as for your prostrate hyperplasia,you need to get red clover leaves as soon as possible, brew and drink them everyday till the symptoms goes away"


He looked at me in total bewilderment,turning off the recorder for our interview and came towards me,held me by my shoulders,saying


"So you understand german...you little wimp,so you speak german," he said smiling in shock, raising his hands to his head,he continued "Oh my God,why did you flunk the interview,its all recorded and sent to personnel,nothing I can do now,I needed someone like you who understands german and I love the fact that you heard all I said about you and yet,kept your cool,certainly you can work for me"

The tears finally fell,running down my cheeks,I couldn't believe I was this close but flunk it before I realise I could have had it,Mr bach wiped my tears and pulled me in for a hug,instantly pulling me off him and asking about the red clover flowers I'd just told him about

"Yes Mister,it works,find someone to help you get lots of it and take it as tea every morning and night" I said sniffing

"Wow! You are truly God sent majeed...you are,you know what,I should be friend with you..henceforth just call me Vaughn and here's my card,save my number,we are now mates ok?....buddies as the american put is" he said,we both laughed

"You should meet my family,my wife and kids,my first daughter is about the same age as you" my brows arched at that

"We would be friends forever majeed...I like you already,how fluent are you in german and how many languages do you understand" he said again as I held the door knob ajar to leave. I smiled and said in german

"Ich spreche fließend Deutsch, Französisch, italienisch und gut Arabisch Und natürlich fließend in Englisch" meaning

"I speak fluent german,french,italiano and good in arabic,still learning on that and ofcourse fluent in english" he nodded and we both smiled

"Guten tag" he said and I responded

"Guten tag", shutting the door and left


The moment I went inside,mom knew I'd messed up but she's my mummy,she hugged me and said its my first

"It's usually like that"

I narrated all that happened and thereafter Mr vaughn called me and we scheduled a meeting for our families to meet,we kept the house clean and I cooked sumptuous meal for their arrival,Mr bach or Vaughn as he preferred I call him now has a wife and 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy and yes, sasha,her first daughter is a year or two older than Hamz ,we laughed and chatted as Karl also tried to impress with his rusty german

"I see us being friends for a long long time" Vaughn said,mom nodded,taking a spoonful of pepper soup with fish,she said she believes so

With vaughn being at the top pyramid of a blue chip company,expatriate and a family man..connection is the way to go in this country and mom was pleased with me that I landed the family with a yummy connection,while she bonds with the wife,us with his kids and with vaughn,ofcourse,we would be friends for such a long long time

Mom gave me a knowing smile
"I know that smile mummmyyyy" he he he

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