As the queen bee looses her eggs

"I need a very chilled bottle of water majeed...do you think you can get the lady over there to give you a bottle?"

Mom demanded earnestly,pointing towards a well dressed lady dragging a sack of chilled bottled water along, fanning herself with her hand then craning her neck across the table towards me,trying to get her voice above the loud blasts of music coming from massive speakers in the hall where the reception between aunty ibukun and her hubby was taking place

"Am seriously parched" she shouted

Aunty ibukun is the daughter of one of our neighbors,chief ogundayo and his wife who are far along already in age,aunty ibukun is one of mom's friends in the street,this happened when she started to coach me and Hamz at home some years back after her youth service corp as mom's busy schedule doesn't allow her to mix much with people on the street but we have high regards for the ogundayos and though she's marrying quite late since she finished her service and most of her younger siblings are already married,we were all glad she was finally tying the knots,though my brothers declined attending,saying they couldn't imagine following our mom to weddings at their age..well,I was her last resort,I grudgingly agreed..with thoughts of the delicious rice I would eat coursing my mind from what I'd seen them preparing in their compound the day before when mom and I went to greet them



I looked around for the sight of the lady but she was far gone into the midst of the crowd where some guests in the hall jostled and struggled to get a bottle from her leading to a mild tussle,the thought of going to fight with strangers over water and probably getting my well starched, ironed and intricately embroided native attire stained didn't go down well with me,so I turned back to face her,my cap almost falling off, instantly coming up with excuses for me not to go

"But mom...you just finished a one litre pack of chilled hollandia milk,you can't be so thirsty all of a sudden" I spewed,placing my native mallam cap properly on my head

"Am feeling hot from my inside...please,if you love me,get me a cold bottle of water" she rasped rather angrily,digging into her purse and fishing out crisp five hundred naira note

"Or get me a bottle of water outside " handing me the new note,I stared at her for a few seconds,wondering what was wrong with her as her attitude I found quite annoying and irritating,she followed my gaze to the big,standing air conditioner which was vibrating with the chill air it was hoofing out,she followed my gaze back and shrugged

"You see dots of sweat all over my forehead" she said,pointing to her forehead just beloe her headgear, "...am boiling from my insides,please son go and get me the water...make it snappy"

I stood up grudgingly,wondering what it was that's disturbing mom,thoughts of what it could be rasped through my brain as I walked out of the hall,bodies of guests brushing my sides as they danced their way to the high table to spray the newly married couple money

" the AC is blowing out chill air,she had a cold drink...what could be happening? Or...is that what they call hot flash" my face alarmed at the thought,guests sitting by the aisle gave me a puzzled look like they were wondering what I was thinking that made me react like I just recalled a shocking memory,I smiled around to ensure I was fine,looking a little stupid...I quickly hurried out of the hall


"Mom can't be having hot flash?I mean she just clocked into her 40s a year or two back...it can't be but whatever it is,we would get to the root of it" I thought,trying to calm myself it's probably nothing serious as am the emotional and easily perturbed type unlike my hardened brothers who are mostly impersonal until they need something

"Mallam,saanu...give me a bottle of water please...eva water" I requested,the hausa mallam,a petty trader in a nearby kiosk on the same street as the venue of the hall where the wedding reception was taking place, scratching my stubble which itches when the beards starts to grow,I collected the water and turned to leave when the man called me back for my change,I smiled,instinctively raising my hand mid-air to my head in a sign that I'd forgotten

"Wetin you dey think you this handsome young man? Ehn! Na amariya dey worry you so?" He joked,amariya means wife,we both laughed,I thanked him for calling me back,collected my change and left.

When I gave mom the bottle of water,she quickly grabbed it from me like her throat has gone totally shriveled and in few gulps,the empty bottle lay on the table,eyeballing me with the way I looked at her,I just couldn't believe her sudden insatiable thirst for cold water,I went with it and soon it was time for the groom to give his toast and afterwards,guests who came with gifts were asked to file on a line to drop their gifts,wish the couple well and receive souvenirs from the couple

When it got to our turn,aunty ibukun was so elated at seeing us,mom pecked her on both cheeks and I shook the groom,almost wincing from his firm grip with his wide,sweaty palm squeezing my dainty hands but I tried to put up a am-cool-man look,aunty ibukun hugged me and thanked me for coming and to tell my brothers she's angry at them expressing mock-anger,we all laughed,I wished her well and while her hubby's attention was distracted greeting other guests and mom went to drop the gifts we'd brought,she winked at me and said she's having second thoughts about the whole thing

"Aww! Common iyawo! You're having the usual couple's cold feet,you would be fine...good things comes to those who wait,you've waited so long for this and am convinced you are truly the one made from his ribs" I assured her with a wink...we are that close,she fought back stings of tears welling up in her eyes and hugged me yet again,we said our goodbyes and left.

Mom and I couldn't eat anything for dinner that night as we already had much to eat and drink at the party,I'd totally forgotten all that happened with mom and her rabid thirst for water,after exchanging some banter all around,light-hearted bickering from Hamz and Karl and we all went to sleep

It must around past 2am in the middle of the night when I heard my phone ringing

"Whoever does night calls again" I thought,I stretched my hand over my bedside stand and with one punch,silenced the phone...whoever is calling,once he or she gets tired,would let me be and call in the morning

Then the call came in again,Karl turned on the bed,asking me to either pick the call or turn off my phone,I picked the phone,the backlight of the phone stinging my eyes with its beam...it was mom,I wondered why she was calling me,her room is just adjacent mine and she's calling? I sighed and picked

"Maj darling" she cried "come here right now please,just come" she sounded hysterical,I was scared,i pulled the duvet off my body with a start,quickly putting on my flip flops, Karl stood up to ask what happened and where I was going,I looked back in a flash,a little startled to hear his voice

"It's mom Karl...she sounded distraught,I have to go and check up on her"

Karl sat up on the bed looking astounded, "distraught you say?" He asked again as if to confirm he heard right

"I don't have time Karl,I have to go" I said,the door creaked open as I pulled the door knob

" I'll come with with you" he said coming after me,repositioning his phallus behind his PJ trousers trying to hide his early morning hard on.

I gently opened the door leading into mom's room,she sat on the bed,her palms clasped over her face,her body shuddered at my touch,she had been sobbing,her eyes wet with tears,looking red

"What's wrong mom...what happened?" I asked solemly,she looked at me,then at Karl and sobbed yet again,her body vibrating as she blubbered ,I placed my arm around her, pulling her to me,Karl and I sharing confused glances,totally clueless about what was making her sob in the middle of the night,I suddenly felt a wet chill on my arm all the way to my shoulder,I took my arms off my mom and noticed sweat all over,I was shocked

"What's all this mom? You look too wet for all this to be heat" I said,mom didn't respond,Karl sighed,placing his hands on his hips,looking worried

"Do you think we should take her to the hospital?" Karl asked while I wiped the sweat off my hand with a small towel

"Karl,its just past 2 am,we can't be driving out by this time,don't worry,would get her a drink" I said,mom whimpered and her body shuddered again,I went downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and poured a lot of ice cubes in it and brought it to mom to take,she felt abit calm afterwards,then I gently pulled her up to the shower,helping her take off her night gown,shutting my eyes from seeing her naked. Afterwards I supported her to her bed and she thanked me and slept off


By morning,after breakfast,mom and I were on our way to the hospital to see her obstetrician and gynecologist doctor,Dr ray...Karl behind the wheels as always


"So ma'am how old are you again?" Dr raymond asked after mom narrated all the symptoms she's having

"Am 41 years old" mom answered

"And this boy over here",referring to me "is your nephews?" Dr asked

Mom laughed and said am her son,going on to say she even has an older son and that she married very very early,Dr raymond nodded admirably

"That is why am a little puzzled that you are having pre-menopausal symptoms a little early" Dr ray spewed

"PRE-MENO WHAT?" Mom thundered, "I can't be having menopause now,no way! "

Dr ray tried to calm mom down and explain what he meant "No madam,not menopause,it's pre-menopuase,that Is..". Mom cuts in rudely

"YES...THAT,premenopausal whatever,I can't be having that,its just too early,too early,am not prepared,you can't tell me am getting old now" mom declared hysterically

I sighed,Karl smiled wryly,Dr ray looked at us men,

"Your mom is being hormonal and obviously still in denial" he said smiling,mom felt insulted and stamped her fist on the table,demanding to know what he meant by that,I quickly stood up and asked her to calm down as he hadn't said anything insulting or unprofessional,he simply stated the fact...whether it suits us or not

Mom comported herself and asked what she could to do revert the symptoms and feel better

"Well.." Dr ray started, "I wouldn't advice you take drugs to quell all these symptoms"

"Why is that?" Mom inquired

"Menopausal women with hot flashes and night sweats have a nearly 30 percent higher chance of living 20 years longer than women without these classic menopause symptoms." He stated

"So am suppose to burn while am at work,under very cold ac? That would only speed up my retirement process" mom fired,I covered my lips to avoid her seeing me smile at her predicament

"Ma'am" the doctor continued, "hot flashes and night sweats is a form of house cleaning,a way of detoxing a woman's body,sort of a major house cleaning before shutting down the ovaries and uterus for the business of monthly cycles and pregnancy"

The word "shutting down" obviously got to mom a little because her mood changed instantly after hearing that,she went solemn sort of,I felt her fear..

"Madam,why that look?" Dr ray asked,sensing her dread,he moved in for damage control, " See menopause doesn't mean you are old or no longer fertile,such that you should be bumped to the back seat,no,you've lived your life and you can still enjoy good intimacy with your husband"

Ouch! That only worsened the situation as mom bursted into tears,the doctor was shocked and I explained the situation to the doctor,he immediately expressed his apologies,saying he had no idea

"She looks way younger than her age and obviously,touch is vital to staying this young,I thought..." He said to us, making a shrug to communicate the rest of his statement,it seemed to make mom feel better that a male stranger thinks she looks way younger than her age,she whimpered,wiped her tears and said she was fine....Whew! Women and hormones!

"Yea..you would be,you are only being very hormonal,maybe you should check up old women in your family to see if they clocked into menopause early,so you know if it's hereditary because you shouldn't be expecting this until you clock atleast 45," the doctor said

"So what should I do to minimise all these symptoms?" Mom inquired

"Take lots of water,fruits and exercise" he adviced

"All these I do..if you have an all male brood,they rub off on you with their early morning workouts" we all laughed,he prescribed names of drugs mom could use to minimise all her symptoms without overdoing it,but assured mom she's still way early for all these and it might all just be stress-induced premenopausal symptoms and she should soft-pedal on work,we thanked him and left

"Whew!" I sighed

We went into the car and mom took off her veil,turned on the car ac to full blast and declared,letting the breeze run through her hair and neck

"I won't allow you take me down...not this early",she declared,seemingly addressing menopause, Karl and I shared furtive glances

Women and their fear of geting old,Whew!

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