Kimmy phase

The morning was bright, the sun was up and seemed to beam in a smile emoticon manner upon the city, its rays red as it gradually simmered up the earth, everywhere was calm and still, the only bits of noise came from a flock of tiny lemon-coloured birds that chirped noisily outside as they hover between branches of trees that swayed back and forth. It must be around nine am, I was busy having breakfast on the dining table, cutting and dipping chunks of bread into my hot tea before moving the soaked loaf into my mouth whilst staring through the window at our compound when QT sauntered by from his room upstairs and playfully tapped me on my shoulders as he's wont to do to say hello, I gently turned to look at him as I took the last bit of bread into my mouth and said good morning with my mouth full, he gave me a warm smirk and pulled a chair to sit with me, staring intently into my face which instantly made me uncomfortable,

 "Wasup?"

I asked, he nodded affirming he was okay, he then sighed and said he needed to get married, the bombshell of a statement hit me unexpectedly some tea got into my windpipe and came through my nose as I stood up aghast with my face down and my mouth open to breath and calm down,

"Do you want to kill me? What is wrong with you?"


I managed to ask when I regained my composure a bit, he laughed then hissed, asking me to sit right back as it was a serious conversation he wants to have with me, I gave him an icy stare over he not apologizing or atleast say sorry for what had just happened to me but I went along with it, since he said it's serious, so I sat back with my chin resting on my palm, ready to take in every word he was about to say.

"Mom called me this morning and started on how am of age to settle down and start having kids as her friends were already becoming grandparents and she needed me to settle down, although she understands I don't have a job yet and the economy is dire right now, I could as well just find a girl I love, marry her and she would live in this house with us!"

QT went as the last line of his sentence didn't quite sink in with me, my face bedazzled for a few seconds, I went,

 "Wait..hold up, stay where? Here with us?...No way in hell...Brother, I am sorry but that can't happen, your wife, whenever you marry her to live with us? That would be so awkward, what room will Hamz move in to? And I sure wouldn't be able to stand hearing moans coming from your room and what if we have misunderstandings? Ah! No oo"

I swiftly responded while QT raised his hands around to show me how big the house is, he replied,

"The house is pretty big, we can turn the store to an additional room where Hamz would be staying and if our moans disturbs you, you can go and sleep in Mom's room!"

He said that with every ounce of seriousness, I batted my eyelids in disgust and asked,

 "Why is Mom even talking to you about marriage? Karl is the first born of the family and if things are to go in a perfect order, Karl should marry first before anyone else, She's acting all shady, Urgh!"

QT tilted his head to the side a bit, giving me an inquiring look and asked why I was sounding like Kim Kardashian!

 "What? Am not, really am not, this is how I sound when I speak english, you grew up with me, you should know!"

He dissolved into giggles, clapping his hands in surprise and with his mouth open in shock, he closed his mouth, paused for a bit then went,

 "I heard the telly on last night when everyone was asleep, I heard the Kardashian girls speaking and I knew it was definitely you who was downstairs as NO ONE watches that show in this house except you, NO ONE and I've noticed how your accent changes after watching the show and its reruns for hours on end...Maj, what the fuck is wrong with you? Goodness me!"

I knew he was sort of saying the truth but I wasn't going to be named and shamed like that, I mean, the Kardashians are part of virtually everyone's daily life in some way, they are always in the news, their combined social media followers means atleast almost half of your friends and relatives follow them and I actually love the show and watch it to derive inspiration, I see stuffs they go through and it makes me recall similar things that might have happened in our family and I talk about it but definitely with our own twist to things since we are all boys, I pressed my lips together in vexation then raised my index finger  to shut QT up,

 "Brother! I ain't talking like Kim ok? Even If I was, it would fade off in time and why would I even be talking like kim? You're crazy!"

QT's face grew upset as he held my ear and twisted it while I yelped in pain,

"Am your elder brother, you don't call me crazy, we are NOT the Kardashians, show me some respekk brother!"

He then released my ear as my eyes went red with rage, I looked around, looking for what I could throw at him and I took my tea cup and threw the dregs of the tea at him and ran upstairs into Mom's room. Mom swiftly turned in fright as I bursted into her room, asking if I wanted to kill her as she was a bit hypertensive, I apologised and told her QT was bugging me, QT stormed in and asked Mom to warn me seriously as he wasn't my agemate, Mom sighed and sat up on the bed, asking what happened but not before she chastised the both of us,

 "Silly boys, am sure you've both eaten and are filled up because If you were hungry and had nothing to eat, you won't think to start fighting this early morning...now what happened?"

QT smiled...apparently at being treated like a kid by Mom and having to explain what happened between he and I and simply said Mom should warn me and he left despite Mom calling him back, he didn't return till we heard his room door slammed close, she then asked me what caused our fight and I explained, telling her he said I sounded like a woman, Mom sighed and shook her head then said,

 "But your voice has always been quite tiny, what's suddenly strange about that? I think he's just moody about certain things!"

She said and I went,

 "Marriage?",

Mom's face looked surprised and said

 "Oh! He's discussed it with you already! Hmmn! Anyway, that includes you, you three, Karl, QT and yourself are due for marriage, so the earlier you start finding the one, the better"

I smiled and asked if we would all bring our wives into the same house? Mom obviously hadn't thought of that and with a wave of hand, dismissed me off her room and as I was about stepping out, she called me back and asked if breakfast was ready and I said yes, she smiled and went,

"To think I thought I was doomed when I had no daughters...you've proven more reliable than a daughter would!"

Tears rushed to my eyes but I quickly fought it back, nodded and left the room. I got back downstairs and was clearing the dining table when I thought I perceived Hamz's masculine smell, I swiftly turned back and met him standing directly behind me almost breathing on the back of my neck(I can tell each of my brothers by their smell...not a bad smell anyway, just a macho kind of smell, almost the same way with all three but varies in thickness),

"Are you trying to startle me?"

I asked Hamz who slowly nodded his head then went past me into the kitchen to grab a tea cup to make himself a cup of tea, he went as he got busy,

"QT said you've been sounding all kimmy all morning...what's wrong with you Maj?",

"Oh shut up there you little punk! So if Qatari tells you shit, you come right ahead to confront me about it? Am I sounding all kimmy to you now?"

Hamz took a long serious gaze at me as if trying to assess me so far,

 "Hmn!...Quite...Quite like kim",

 I simply hissed, trying not to let myself get dragged into a fight that morning and simply went about my chores as Karl  at that moment, stepped down into the sitting room to overhear the rest of Hamz's talk  about me and my kimmy voice,

"...I know this because lately, you've been using their slangs and phrases for a while now, most especially after their show airs...like "sus", ''shady''  "fuckgirl", "basic"....I mean what guy uses that word "basic"....MAJ!"

I sighed to swallow what would have been my vitriolic response and simply turned to a smiling Karl to say good morning, he (Karl) chose not to weigh in on our drama and also to change the topic before Hamz and I come to blows as he asked how sex was with Simi the previous night. You all remember Simi from SO MUCH CLASS, SO MUCH PANACHE and   FONDLE FOR TWO Hamz who was clearly shocked almost screamed!

 "MAJ, DON'T TELL ME YOU FUCKING BONED THAT GIRL? YOU FUCKER!"

 "Hehehehe"

I giggled mischievously as Karl nodded his head as though he was jamming to a music as Hamz's shocked face slowly dissolved into a jealous look with his lips held in a pout then slowly to a sad and quiet look of somebody holding another in resentment!

 "YASS! I HIT IT FIRST!"

 I thought aloud as Karl and I "Chopped knuckles" LOL!

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