Friday, 18 March 2016

Held in contempt

"Imagine we are in an apocalyptic era and you sustained a cut or an injury and need to keep infection at bay but no penicillin...how do you create your own penicillin?"

I asked Karl from where I sat on the bed, surfing the internet with the laptop placed on a pillow on my thighs to prevent the heat from the laptop from burning my thighs,

"You tell me!",

He responded, shoveling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and munching away while droplets of milk seaped from his mouth into the bowl, some of it trailing down his jaw as he used the back of his palm to wipe It off, I nodded, in readiness to answer,

"Well, you'll get a loaf of bread and or an orange...leave for a few days till spores begin to form...for the bread, you cut it up into smaller pieces and  add a little moisture, preferably orange juice and seal up in a bag until molds begin to develop then let it change colour and progress from white to blue then green...you see that green mold, it contains doses of penicillum, so you can either take the molds and mix up with water and drink up or scrape the mold then apply on the wound and wrap up! So there you go, a way to survive in case the world goes bust and you find yourself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, this information might just save your life".


 Karl nodded, smiling at me and giving me a thumbs up for my effort at educating him, I grinned from ear to ear, glad that I had impacted something valuable into someone that morning when Karl chimed,

"If it's in an apocalyptic era, who would bake bread? And what are the odds we would find an orange?"

 I looked cluelessly dumb, Karl smiled and said the person might just be screwed, I interjected, saying the person could use honey,

"Honey is a unique type of food that never ever spoils, has anti-bacterial and anti-viral properties and could be gotten in the forest, so if he can get past the bees, get some and rub all over the wound, he would be good to go!" ,

Karl nodded in agreement, going ahead to sip the milk of his cereal. Just at that moment, Hamz strolled into our room, he greeted Karl, moving close to him to engage in a brotherly shake which ends with both of them bumping their fistbumps at each other and patting each others backs but completely sidelined me, I smiled inwardly then called him and said good morning but he didn't respond, Karl told him I'd  just greeted him but he fired back rather pissed that he saw no one except Karl and as such heard nothing, Karl smiled and told Hamz not to be petty, I simply signalled to Karl not to  bother and let him be, he squared up his shoulders defiantly and his brow arched up rudely and  stormed out of the room, I smiled and pretended to be cool, Karl shook his head and said we were both petty, I made to protest but he had walked out of the room. I picked up my phone and called up my best friend Tchubs who had informed me earlier that week about a major dancing gig he got to shoot for a celebrity artist's music video, so I called him to ask him about it and he gleefully regaled me with all that went down shooting the video, the stress that came with it amongst others, I guess he must have deduced I wasn't meeting him at the center with as much excitement as  he was brimming with and asked if I was ok, I told him I wasn't quite, going ahead to narrate all that happened between Hamz and I as read in BROTHERS SCUFFLE and if I thought he was going to see reason with me and support what I did, I was so wrong, his reaction took me by surprise, he went, starting off in pidgin english,

 "What? Maj? Ah Ah, Ah, You fucked up...you fucked up big time, why you go do that kain thing na? I understand you were trying to help but brothers don't do that to each other, you should have cued him with a car horn and he gets it...even if Mom still catches him, then the fuck up wouldn't have come from you but tiptoeing with her and shutting the door behind you guys whilst your Mom flogs both of them is just borderline cruel...so you shouldn't be mad he isn't speaking to you...he obviously wouldn't forget this in a long time, you let him down, humiliated him and made him feel small...Maybe you didn't directly do all these but you paved the way",

I sighed as I tried to defend myself, calling what I did a measure of tough love but Tchubs wasn't having none of it, we talked about other sundry issues and ended the call. I went back to my surfing the internet, gawking and neighing in fright as I stumbled upon a site bored daddy where I saw  people carrying on death-defying stunts which are so real and carried out by regular people like a group of people driving down a sand dune in lucky bay australia, two guys speeding off on bike trails on the cliff of moher, a guy practically walking on a rope in an activity called skywalking in  macau, jumping on the trolitunga cliffs in norway,climbing redwoods ,cliff camping. etc.

A short while later, QT and Hamz were busy engaged in a conversation as they came upstairs towards my room and caught me visibly shaken yet amused staring at my system, QT came forward beside me to see what I was doing, asking whilst coming towards me if I was checking out hot,naked russian girls online, I hissed, he flicked through the page and was equally surprised, laughing hysterically yet shocked at the stunts, this apparently got Hamz's attention as his body language suggested he wanted to come join us but he couldn't since he was still angry with me.

Mom called me at that moment so I left the room with my laptop left open, while QT trailed behind me, leaving Hamz alone in the room and Karl in the shower. I came back quite early enough and met Hamz on my laptop, I stood by the door and watched him stifle his laughter as he went through the site on my monitor, cursoring his way through, I called out suddenly, asking if he found it interesting, startled, he retreated instantly away from my laptop and feigned annoyance whilst being embarrassed that I caught him, he hurried out of my room as I called after him, telling him I love him and miss his friendship and was cool for him to go on checking through my system...reminding him that I was his muse, he smiled and hurried along, telling me to go away! Apparently, I am still being held in contempt! LOL!

 KEEP UP

19 comments:

  1. Hahaha, you guys are just a picture of normalcy, love bunnies and so so cute, hamz would come around,am sure you maj have learnt from what happened, every guy you know have been against what you did, only the women supported it
    -VAUGHAN PH

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  2. i pray we never have to live in an apocalypse but just incase it happens, your bit on how to ''raise'' peniccilin is so apt and i am soo checking bored daddy, lol, i love how often times, you freely give out tips, hacks and a glimpse at the intellectual pool you feed from lol
    -Elysse, UK

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  3. You guys are really funny, hamz get over yourself already..lol, the part about you being his muse got me really cracking and how you caught him and feigning annoyance, scurried outta your room,lol so funny, he will come around am sure
    -Ryan, england

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  4. Boys being boys, lol
    -Amanda, ca.usa

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  5. qt is such a bad guy, lolz, this shows what he browse on his system at night, what a badder, i hope he reads this, lol
    -Austin

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  6. maj loves to bring on the drama but can't take being dissed? shut the fuck up
    -THE GREAT ANONYMOUS

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    Replies
    1. you're back the great anonymous, get the hell outta here, no one missed u
      -Amy, london

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    2. In as much as i think the great anonymous is some faceless punk, i think critics should saometimes be allowed their day...and oh @thegreatanon, go away
      Aisha, abuja

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  7. Very funny piece maj..hamz misses you am sure, he's just sulking, lol
    -Ben shwartz, scotland

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  8. LOL @ being held in contempt. fierce writer, check out how he weaved this normally ''a day in our lives'' story, lol. kudos maj
    -Gbenga, abuja

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  9. karl still takes cereal every morning? you guys had better nigerianalise him, cereal kwa,lol
    -Ngozi

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    Replies
    1. that's crude of you ngozi..i mean, who doesn't take cereal these days? i love how regular the guys are with maj describing how he wiped the spilled milk with the back of his palm, if he had gone for a tissue, i would have rolled my eyes
      -Lola, abuja

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  10. nice piece maj..made me laugh
    -Lyndsey fairweather

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  11. maj and hamz, the two brothers who are each other's ace
    Lisa wells

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  12. Lol, maj,you so funny, the moment he caught his bro at his system made me recall a similar incident with my brother..never stop writing maj
    -Niman

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  13. we loev you adagiri boys...take over the kardashians already..love from down under
    Nekky-aussie

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  14. yoiu sure about the penicillin stuff? might try it out and karl's response was quite epic,lol
    -russell

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    Replies
    1. it"s true @russell..maj is right..i know this
      -Rufus

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