ADAM- /a:dam/- noun -> the strong macho body of a homo sapien male
10:45AM
*phone rings*
Maj- Hello?
Hameed- Hey Maj,its uncle hameed
Maj- Ahhhhh! Cousin of liiiife,hahaha! Oh my God,are you in the country now?
Hameed- Oh yes,am at the airport now but leaving for my business meeting,once am through,would be coming straight home
Maj- Ok bros! No problem,welcome!
Turning to my brothers excitedly,I announced the news to them and urged them to get to work,cleaning the house
I took the tv remote and turned off the tv
"What is your problem Maj? Why would you turn off the tv while someone else is watching"
Hamz barked! I looked around,totally taken aback
"Are you alright? Hamz,since yesterday,you've been acting all cranky,are you well at all?"
QT scolded,he continued
"Bro Hameed is in the country and your ears were wide open when mom instructed we clean up this house before he comes,even if she didn't say a word,we have a guest coming,shouldn't your brain tell you that's the right thing to do?so we should clean up this big house while you watch tv...see,before I say jack robinson,if you don't stand up right now,one blow from my fist and all your teeth would come off"
"But really Hamz,what's the problem,really? You've been moody since yesterday"
Karl asked,going to place his hand on Hamz's shoulder,Hamz adamant,still sitting down sulking
"Heartbreak hotel...this is the..heartbreak hotel...this is the... heartbreak hotel"
I whispered,singing the first line of whitney houston's hit heartbreak hotel,breaking into a giggle
"Oh! That's true"
Karl said,also laughing
"Please get over the breakup,infact throwing yourself into work would get you distracted and move on,we already took you out yesterday and ate suya to our fill,what's your problem"
Karl said
Hamz rolled his eyes
"As if eating suya is the perfect way to get over someone,I had no idea that's how its done in america"
Hamz retorted,rather harshly
"Shut up your mouth Hamz!"
I chided,QT reminded us to get to work immediately,we all know our duties and promptly went to getting it done.
2:15PM
Uncle Hameed is here,we were all perched around the dining table eating the meal of braised rice and fried chicken garnished with veggies I'd prepared and downing it with chivita juice,we all catch up and Uncle hameed also tried to connect with Karl
Hameed- So (shoving food to his mouth) Karl,tell me about your life in america and how are you finding your nigerian roots?are we what you expected us to be as your dad's family?
Karl- (clears throat) Well,back in america,growing up,I..er, felt a void in my life created by the absence of my dad,it sort of made me abit violent,I was always bugging my mom for details about dad and all she told me was the surname,I googled,facebooked ,searching for anyone by that name but didn't get much results,I decided to join the american army...
(Hameed cuts in)
Hameed-..Wow,you were once in the american army? That's impressive (tears at a fried chicken lap)
Karl- Yea I was,I left when I was really feeling depressed,I just felt this hunger to connect with my dad's roots and also get to visit africa and mom felt it was time,so here I am
Hameed- Hmmmmn! Nice meal Maj (making the cool sign,wiping his lips with a serviette ) So Karl,you haven't answered my other question,are we what you expected us to be?
Karl- Oh! Sorry,my mind escaped that,well er...,when mom told me my dad is an african,honestly,with my impression of africa at the time,I thought he probably lived under a rock or in a shabby hut or something,his people living quite primitively,but getting here,whew! Am impressed,(laughs) but overwhelmed by the drama in this family,the intrigues,drama and intimidation in this family is just really overwhelming,nevertheless,its exciting and I love being here
Hameed- hahahaha! Welcome to the family....don't worry,the Adagiri blood flows in your veins,you would survive....Hey! Hamzii,you are being awfully quiet,what's up!
(No response)
Hameed- HAAAAMZA!!
Hamz- (jerks in a startled manner) Oh sorry bros,am so sorry,you said what?(My brothers and I laugh)
Mom- Hamza! What's wrong with you?
Maj- (whispering,just like the first line of whitney houston's heartbreak hotel)
Heartbreak hotel....this is the...heartbreak hotel...this is the...heartbreak hotel
MOM&HAMMED- (in unison) What?
QT- He got dumped by his girlfriend....on radio?
Mom- What? Wait,how? Hamz had a girlfriend?
Hameed- On radio how?
QT- He called in on a programme on radio that deals with emotional and relationship issues,lamenting about his relationship woes,the girl also called in and broke up with him
Mom&Hameed- What?
Hameed- Hahahahaha,Hamz is this true?oh my God,kids of nowadays
Hamz- (sulkily) Yes uncle
Maj- Since then,he's been beside himself with worry
Hameed- Hmmm,have you tried to call this girl,beg her and try to get back with her?
Maj- Lol,uncle,it's a lot more complicated than that,point is,its over!
Mom- I never even knew he had a girlfriend and (turning to Hamz) why didn't you come to me when she broke up with you so I could console you,be there for you
QT,Maj,Karl- (all laughing)
Mom- What's funny?
QT- That's suppose to be dad's duty,he has us anyway
Hameed- Anyway,get over it Hamz,you are a man,be a man about it and move on ok? Thinking about it,how would you guys love to come with me to Ghana for the weekend,take you guys to a resort near accra,so we all bond,especially with my new cousin here Karl (rubs him on the shoulder), get in on some bromance and have fun
QT,HAMZ,KARL- (chorus) - Wooo! Uncle,we would love that,amazing,let's goo! Yes uncle,yes!
Mom- Would I come along?
QT,Karl,Hameed- Ahhhh! No (I laughed)
Maj- Wow! I would love that uncle but what is this resort like?
Hameed- I would give you their website, so you check up what they have in stock,but trust me Maj,it's not for the faint-hearted
Maj- Ah! (Hamz giggles)
Hameed- Aha! Now you are excited Hamz...we would be leaving tonight,I would book our flights now (swiping at the face of his ipad),so you guys go get Reeeeaaady!
My brothers squealed in excitement, Hamz stood up, quickly doing some press ups to show off his strength ,I rolled my eyes,all leaving for our rooms to prep for the journey
KEEP UP
Hahahaha,ok ooo,this your brothers dem ehn! Lol and I love u how u infused whitney's heartbreak hotel,Maj,you are mean small,lol
ReplyDeleteThe chemistry between the brothers tho,do nigerian siblings truly have that?tooclose for comfort if you ask me
ReplyDeleteA man who beheads others wouldn't want a knife near his head,so Hamz can feel depressed over a girl? Ah! Lol,I don't know about others but am not pitying him,if you've read about hisexploits with women in thepast,ehn! This young pikin,you won't pity him,thosewho are pitying him are new fans,lol
ReplyDelete-Ashawarya 's lookalike-
Hahahaha,word darling word! He's even excited about their impending ghana trip,is he really hurting over thebreakup or just feeling sad that he was the one who got dumped rather than doing the dumping and oh am def sure you are not even a half of a quarter as preety as the bollywood angel, *winks*
DeleteNice piece ,could you just skip to the trip in ghana,want to know how maj coped,lol
ReplyDeleteNice! As Always. Blessed Be.
ReplyDeleteSage Sweetwater, Celebrity firebrand lesbian novelist
OMG! We have a lesbian in the house amazeballs,did yousaylesbian novelist? MAAAJ! COME HERE RIGHT NOW,A "CELEBRITY FIREBRAND" u say? Please people react to this
DeleteSorry at ms sagesweetwater,what exactlyare you famous for and I had no idea lesbians read and oh wait a second,can you guys relate with keeping up with the adagiris,I mean it's about four hot-blooded STRAIGTH men,and are you nigerian?
DeletePlease you internet trolls,free this woman,lesbian or not,she's a human being and has a dignity and self-worth higher than the lower animals,also,she's a writer and I don't know her but if she says she's a celeb,then she is,atleast she's doing something,maj also has been very truthful to say he's quite effeminate but not gay,I think with his platform,people would realise not all girly guys are gay,reading avidly ought to free our minds and make us liberals and freethinkers who see things from another angle,abeg free her, @sagesweet pls welcome aboard and hope to see more of your comments,if anything,to poke at these homophobes faces,idiots and no,am not a woman and am not gay, #onelove
DeleteWe do not want lesbians and homosexuals on here please and please,just because Maj has talked about his struggle with people thinking he and Karl are queer doesn't mean it's a way for them to connect and obviously,karl and maj are not,(judging from his posts) but please,I find gays and lesbians offending
ReplyDelete*karla*
Youmust be dumb karla,so just because of what you see on here,you think maj CAN'T be gay?please get over yourselves,so if he is gay,would you see him differently?would that change how you see kuwda?stop the hate,show love,just because you are straight (or closet homo) doesntmean you place in heaven is assured,am not saying maj is gay but he obviously wouldn't mind gays reading his blog and to the other commenter, gays(guys and gals) are the one who actually read
ReplyDelete*am gay,deal with it*
Oya na! Come for me you trolls
Sorry oo,why is gay issue suddenly becoming the topic and everyone deviating from the main issue which is commenting in relation to the post,and who is sage sweet water? So she's lesbian,why is everyone getting jitters like a suicide bomber is in the house? Mtseeeeew! Maj! Nice piece as always,your posts are very relatable,and you mean karl is yet to meet the entire adagiri family?thought he did at the reunion
ReplyDelete-obasi-
The extended adagiri family is very large na and spread out,so he couldn't have met everyone and on the gay people leaving comments,please they are free,we need to hear them talk and maybe bring on something interesting to the comments section
DeleteThe entire episode is thrilling and truly enchanting.they point out succintly the vagaries of life and the inherent contradictions of life that most people often find themselves in and the inner strength they need to have to face life headlong and the contradictions inherent within.nice one. Dr.Ned
ReplyDeleteQuite succintly put dr ned
DeleteMyadvice @ sage sweetwater,do comment often,advertising your blog below your comment,being in the homophobes faces,no one knows you here innigeria,that way,you garner followership here
ReplyDeleteWe DO NOT want gays on here,we do not want them polluting this place with their livestyle,please we want a no-way policy against gays leaving comments
ReplyDeleteIts NOT your blog so you have no say and even if Maj wants gays out,he can't stop it from happening,God gave him a talent and its not for him to not share it,thanks to maj for sharing your talent with us all
ReplyDeleteMaj must agree with the straights or else most right thinking people I.e the straights would gradually boycott the blog
ReplyDeleteNice piece,so what happens next?
ReplyDeleteIt serves hamz right,for those showing him pity,let me chronicle is sexcapades
ReplyDelete1- he had sex with his mom's friend
2-got into a feud that escalated into a big inter-family drama when he got ino a paternity issue with a girl who accused him of impregnating her
3- had an affair with his step-sister while his mom was married to mr mohammed
4- several flings with girls who had fallen in love with him and breaking their hearts
So so much,so hamz,if you're reading this, *tongue out* ooobi
OMG! Lol,hamz did all these?so much new fans have missed out on,how do we catch up on what's happened in the past?I thought I could guess what's happened in the past?maj is simply amazing,not predictable at all,you think you've seen all in he adagiri family,then another shocking drama erupts,pls maj oo,for us all new fans,how do we catch up biko
DeleteStephanie from awka
Family,just the way it is,hamz and maj are the closest sibling,now they are at loggerheads,lol,that's siblings for you,you are talented maj,never accept anything less,pls keep us entertained
ReplyDelete-phyno from SA-
Do the adagiri brothers,I mean QT,Hamz and Karl read this blog?cos if I were hamz for example,maj is in deep shit with me,lol,all his life bared for all to dissect, realitystars tho,lol
ReplyDelete*DK brooklyn*
ADAGIRI ADAMS 3 PWEEELZZEEE
ReplyDeleteCaroline nwude
P.S I have a great crush on karl,gosh,how maj described his body just made me blush,white or is it half-caste,mop of hair on his head,macho,well built and nice ool and also cute,pls link me up with him maj
Ashawo ten kobo,urname sef na caro,u dey tush am say na caroline,caro caroooo,u want white kporo wey get strong body,ashawo ten kobo
DeleteWhy would people behave like this,hiding behind their phones and being anonymous and attacking someone,so what's wrong with someone having a crush,mtseeew,flee away abeg
DeleteHmmmn! Thank you oo,@ anon 02:41,leave the punk to run his mouth,idiot
DeleteCaroline nwude
Your cousin has no table etiqquette,eating and talking,tearing meat sef,the mental pic of that is just so gross,karl is obviously well bread,stopped eating through the conversation
ReplyDeleteOur own version of the kardashians, lol, me love
ReplyDeleteYayy this is so captivating and all u could ask for is more #ILoveKuwda #Anticipating for the next episode o this maj is just so talented
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