MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Story for the gods

"...So,how is your mother ...and elder brother...oh sorry...elder brothers,I forgot you both now have an additional elder brother"

Alhaji Hassan asked with a smile,shoveling a spoonful of rice well mixed with delicious red stew to his mouth and chewing hungrily. Returning the smile and dropping my spoon,I responded

"They are alright sir,they send their regards sir"

Hamz kept digging into his food without paying attention to what we were saying

"So how long would you both be here?"

He asked again

"Em!...a week or two but most definitely before the elections"

Alhaji Hassan slowly nodded his head then wiping his lips with a serviette,he stood up to leave the dining table

"I hope you are enjoying your meal...I would be at the sitting room upstairs watching the news"

I thanked him as Alhaji left the dining area,Hamz's spoon continuously clanging on his ceramic plate as he dissected his piece of fried fish and chewed on it rather noisily.  Immediately Alhaji left the dining area and out of ear shots,I quickly turned to face Hamz

"You this hungry food monger,haba! You didn't even try to act like you were interested in what we were saying...why is it that when you see food,all your sense of chivalry and civility goes out the window?"

MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS! Lasgidi state of mind

 

"...So Maj,I got you your driver's licence"

Mom said,handing me my licence from the government to freely drive around,I grinned happily from ear to ear

"Mom,but Maj doesn't even know how to drive anything aside a bicycle,why get him a driver's licence,do you want him arrested for manslaughter for knocking down people dead ?"

Hamz sneeringly asked to which Mom and I threw him a disdainful look and both hissed

"You don't have a sensible way of talking Hamza...manslaughter HAMZ! God forbids,is it only for the purpose of driving,driver's license is gotten?"

Mom scolded,waving her hand over her head repeatedly,snapping her fingers,Hamz shrugged,shoveling a heaped spoonful of cereal into his mouth,while I fiddled with my smartphone,intermittently sipping my favourite matcha green tea,the highest potent form of green tea and high in antioxidants

 "So when are you both leaving for lagos...because I don't have much money with me o,I still don't understand why the both of you need to go to lagos together! I understand Majeed needs to go for some interviews and workshop but you Hamz..."

From our mail box

Hello Amazeballs,hope you are all having a nice day? soon,we would be kicking off with the spin off episodes on keeping up with d adagiris titled MAJ AND HAMZ TAKE LAGOS but before we do,a peek into our mail bag and attend to all those questions,queries and commendations from kuwda fans from all around the world. Let me also use this opportunity to thank you guys for your love and interest in our lives and making our blog,a part of your leisure reading and the most of kuwda fans also dealing with the frustrations of not being able to leave comments,we've tried everything,I really do not know what else to do but we would not relent,so please keep trying,thank you! To send in your mails,comments and suggestions,please forward those to abdulmajeed4luv@gmail.com

So here are your mails,the ones I could attend to.

Happy new month of march

Change is the new law of life and those who look to the past or present are certain to miss the future...look back and thank God,look forward and trust God,he closes doors no man can open and opens doors no man can close...Be confident,too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be somebody we aren't,everybody has their own strength and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are- and aren't - that you will truly succeed

Happy new month Amazeballs

Death becomes him

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and re-adjust the way you thought of things" - Lemony Snicket

Kisses are delicious

FORWARD- This post contains explicit sexual language,discretion is therefore advised

Je suis Karly

 

"...To be a U.S. Army Soldier is to be part of the strongest fighting force in the world. You’ll spend your days training, working and serving together to protect America’s freedom. You’ll also have time after work for family, friends and personal interests. From recruitment to retirement, the U.S. Army provides a unique lifestyle.

The most important thing you’ll learn as a Soldier is how to become a successful leader. You will be given many opportunities to improve your leadership and teamwork skills as you take on more responsibility and move up in rank. You’ll learn how to motivate and problem solve,to pursue goals with passion, to stand up to challenges and lead and live with your strengths. You will learn to lead by example..."

Seabuckthorn

Denial is the first stage in grief,acceptance is the last and we can say Mom has been in denial for so long in accepting the fact that her sisters never really loved her,I think she accepted when she had to do a kidney surgery which can be read in WARD 309 when despite being a sensitive case of life and death,they chose not to accompany Mom to be by her side in the hospital when she requested to know which one of them would come along with her to cater to her. I had seen the signs from when we,that is,my brothers and I,(with the exclusion of Karl as he was not here then) were little,my aunties saw nothing good about us,whenever we went on holidays to their place,we became glorified house servants,beaten at will and sent on never ending errands all of which my Mom never for once complained about,her reasons,I was to later find out about as an adult which I would talk about as I progress. As little as six years old,I remember my aunt Hubaida slapped me
hard across my face even though I was ill for washing my left hand to eat a plate of eba and soup she had prepared when I was suppose to wash my right hand...remember,I was ill and a six year old boy. I recall Mom getting home from work that day and after I told her what had happened and seeing slap marks on my face,she reminded aunt Hubaida that someday,she was going to be a mother herself and should remember the treatment she's meting out on me.

What politics has divided

It has being just a few days since Karl arrived from the states,the nigerian polity  has been rife and intense with the general elections in the corner and lots of campaigns going on around the country,Mom has never being a supporter of the current presidential administration. Since shortly after yar'adua assumed the mantle of leadership,she told all who cared to listen then that she is predicting yar'adua's untimely death and goodluck's takeover and to her chagrin,that's exactly how it happened.

It was a rather dull and sunny afternoon,Karl had prevailed on me to accompany him to town in Mom's car to get some fuel additive for the car,I was neck-deep in intrigue,watching a repeat episode of real housewives of atlanta replete with its weave pulling and mudslinging which it is notorious for,he nudged me softly here and there,tickling me occasionally and swiping his palms across my face to distort my concentration on the telly,I grumbled angrily,seeing he wasn't going to let me be,I hesitatingly dropped the remote control and with a groan,stood up and walked to the corner of the sitting room to put on my sample sale pair of gucci flipflops which were given to me by Natalie and are quite expensive by the way and with a countenance filled with gratitude,Karl led me by the hand to the car.

Can i get your attention please?

Hello amazeballs,hope you're finding the last couple of kuwda stories very interesting? am sure you all are given the responses..overwhelming responses i've gotten about the stories,now,this is what i find interesting,i opened my blogger account today,as a matter of fact,a couple of minutes ago now to post another kuwda story when i thought i should check through my blog overview..before that,let me tell you how my day went,earlier today,i attended a media masterclass workshop where notable key speakers in the movie [hollywood,stakeholders in the new film selma with the lead acts being nigerians] and media industry gave insightful lectures on new media and going global,i felt overwhelmed by a new wave of inspiration sweeping through me and whilst checking through my blog overview just to know which countries are my core audiences at,traffic sources amongst other things which google helps you detail,i found shocking discoveries

1, the united states is the country with the highest number of viewership,followed by south africa and india while nigeria,my own country is in a distant fifth