Monday 21 April 2014

The cover up 2

She stood by the door way,holding the door hinge n calling out on my brothers as I stood beside her,stretching my neck behind her to get a view of the room,mom turned back and I quickly got myself in order, "Maj, r u still here,before I loose my temper this early morning,u clear yourself out of my sight! What nonsense,do u think you're a kid?running around in your underwear" Mom barked,she was mid-sentence when I'd quickly turn to go when she called me back n asked where my brothers were,at that moment,lots of options of lies flashed through my mind but I have to be careful,mom didn't get to where she got to professionally being an idiot,she's very smart and can perceive lies when u utter one, "em..." Scratching my head "i think they went jogging" ,she took a good look at me,a rather condescending look but which says i-hope-for-ur-sake-u-are-right, cos obviously,my fussing over her n the distraction,she could sense I was trying to hide something and it wasn't my usual behavior to act that way,she nodded her head abit,sighed and left,I stood there,relaxing my back on the wall,as I prayed in my mind I hope I didn't fuck up
      It was 6:15 when my brothers called my line,I was wearing my long flowing jalamia and pinging on the praying mat,I let out a small groan,stood up and went downstairs to open the door for them. Reeking of cigarette smoke obviously from the condensed cigarette smoke in the club, stale sweat,mix of perfume,probably from hugging people and dancing with them ,I rubbed my nose to show they ooze,QT smiled n pretended to wanna slap me,I pushed his hands away as Karl and Hamz made signs towards Mom's room and lip synching,asking me if the coast was clear and all is super,I nodded my head in the negative,my brothers mouth went agape with horror, mouthing still,Hamz asked if they were in trouble,squeezing my mouth at the corners,I shook my head n went to the dining table to get a sheet of paper and pen and wrote all what had happened, Hamz had his hands on his head,stamping his feet but making sure it made no noise,QT had his hands on his chin like in a worried state,I just asked them to quickly go and change and shower,they thanked me,took off their shoes which let out a foul smell of smelly feet as they tiptoed upstairs,I shook my head and followed them upstairs to my room,unknown to us Mom had installed security cameras around the house and in the sitting room....actually we knew but we had totally forgotten we still had them,mom got them installed after we had a robbery attack some months back,fans from FB would recall. Brothers showered,prayed and look like they could use some sleep but Mom had called us on our respective lines to get to our house chore duties as it was weekend, Hamz approached me in the kitchen walking like he would drop any moment but I knew he was just acting,I knew what he wanted, "um maj brother,pls I know u have lots on ur plate already but would u b so nice to help me do mine,plssssssss" he said,I smiled and responded "so u don party,grabbed boobs,asses,gulped drinks,left me at home,that isn't enough *Hamz smiling* u want me to help u do ur chores,Hamz,u r MAAAD", he laughed out now and begged me,trying to make me see reason but I declined. We did our respective chores and breakfast of bread and tea with grilled salmon was ready,we sat to eat and mom cleared her throat as Karl forked a large chunk of fish to his mouth and QT was chewing and about to swallow when she asked "how was the party boys" OMG! Karl's fork dropped,QT choked on his food and my jaw dropped,but u might ask why we have no freedom to party and go clubbing,etc,its Mom oo and her ideals and policies,she doesn't allow us to do that or wear chain or jewelry (we do it secretly and only when going for parties) and even though we r in our early 20s,there are certain areas she vetoes and keeps us caged and because of religion's importance accorded parents and fact that she was the one who raised us single handedly,we find it hard to flagrantly disobey her, she continued, "so...Karl,QT,Hamz,how was the party?" Hamz gave me an icy look like I sold them out,it only changed when Mom faced me to tell me am also in trouble for trying to cover up for them, they kept stammering and mom told them she saw them on the feed from the security cams,they opened their mouth in surprise,totally forgotten we had those but shockingly,mom didn't chastise them,she simply nodded her head and digged in into her food,my brothers didn't know whether to be happy or still expecting mom's punishment.
       "Jeez,this is such a fuckup!" Hamz said walking into my room and hitting the bed in feigning rage,Karl and QT coming after him,QT falling on my expansive bed and Karl sitting on rug,I simply kept typing on my laptop,"my fans have been putting pressure on me to have an interview with my brothers,so am thinking we do it now" I said turning to look at my brothers, they laughed asking me if I would pay,Karl chipped in asking about our intended fashion venture just like the kardashian dash clothing line,QT roared with laughter,saying "have u read nigerian celeb news lately? Psquare is breaking up,what if we also break up,what would happen?" We all laughed but the thought stuck, could money or women ever separate me and my brothers? Only time would tell....KEEP UP

Sunday 20 April 2014

The cover up 1

"Maj,maj,maj,shhhhhh come here" Hamz whispered,pulling me by my collar as I walked barefooted climbing the stairs and walking through the corridor,in my pyjamas to my room,it was past 11pm and I was the last to leave the sitting room as I was watching E! News and thereafter true hollywood story on naomi campbell also on E!, Mom had retired to bed early. With a puzzled look on my face,I inquired why he needed me as I noticed he was well decked out in cool timberlands,cool jean trousers,NY face cap,blings n all,I was surprised and let out a dry smile,both pleased with his appearance but wondering why he was dressed like that at that time of the night,"what's this Hamz?! Why are u dressed like this? Where r u goin?" I bombarded him with questions, while he was yet to answer me as he fumbled with his blings and chains,clearing his throat to answer me,Karl and QT came into the room from the toilet,the smell of sweet cologne oozing forth from their body,also well dressed and obviously set to go out, seeing them,I squeezed my mouth in anger and demanded to know what was going on, "Thank God Hamz got to u before u enter ur room n sleep off, QT said but I quickly interjected "u r yet to tell me what's going on and why u r dressed like this at this time of the night", "yea yea,am coming to that,common man" QT snapped, he continued as Karl checked himself in the mirror on the corridor wall,checking his well coiffed hair, "well,we are going out...we r going clubbing,Karl has never clubbed here before so we decided to take him clubbing tonight,to give him the experience of nigerian clubbing,so we want u to cover for us and help open the door when we get back,we've spoken to musa,the gateman and all is set,whew' he said,rubbing his palms together,as he talked n fidgeting around,I could feel an overwhelming wave of anger rush through every pore of my body,I wanted to slap him just to make him stop, "Can u hear yourself talk? *mimicking QT* Karl has never clubbed here so we decided to take him clubbing tonight" so u guys felt u should tell me at the eleventh hour right?when u r set to leave and you guys party,while I cover ur asses,I can't belie...*Hamz cuts in* "shhhhh! Common lower ur voice maj,haba! Are u telling us u are upset we didn't tell u about this earlier?common,you are mumsi's sweetheart na and am sure u got ur beauty sleep to get to,*QT and Karl covered their mouths in muffled chuckles*we felt there was no reason to tell u cos we didn't think it was necessary,we felt we should just tell u now and u support us and help us and we leave, *patting me on the shoulder* common brother! Thanks ok? We gats go *turning to QT and Karl* "let's get going brothers", I stood transfixed on the spot,totally shocked at what my younger brother said to me and QT and Karl's response to it,their attitude,my mouth fell open,they knew something was wrong and I must be upset with how Hamz had spoken and their attitude,Karl came back to me,holding me by my shoulders,said "common maj,we r guys,am sure u know Hamz didn't mean it like that,he was just teasing u,we r sorry if we didn't tell u earlier,we needed someone to stay at home and ofcourse we need no prophet to tell us u would be the one to stay at home,besides don't u have your writeups on keeping up with d adagiris to get to?" He smiles as QT and Hamz laughed,quickly covering their mouths ,quieting down when they realised their laughter could wake Mom,I shook my head and pushed Karl's hands off my shoulders, "common maj darling" Karl said looking forlorn, I made to walk to my room,turned back and gave them a piece of my mind ," I can't believe u guys,for crying out loud,u r my brothers,how could u make such plans and didn't think u should tell me until when u guys were set to leave,I mean,who does that?now u stand here before me spitting trash,so am the one who ought to stay at home cos I don't know how to party,is that it?" I spurted wiping off a tear that welled up in my eye,"its no big deal" I continued, "I would cover up for u guys but trust me,I would make u guys pay for what you've done to me,", my brothers knew their action had totally gotten me upset as they didn't believe I would react the way I did but sincerely,I felt hurt that they didn't even tell me all day,they tried to reach for me and hold me but I quickly withdrew my hands before they would touch me,dashed into my room and shut the door, I heard QT asking Hamz and Karl not to beg me but leave me and that when they come back the next day,they would start begging me,jeez! Can u believe that? I stamped my feet in annoyance in my room,thinking I should alert mom but I thought of Karl...Hamz and QT might be idiots but Karl isn't born of my mom and i don't want him upsetting my mom and thinking she should make him leave before he gets out of her control,besides he was the only one who offered some form of grumpy apology,but I felt so bitter and angry about the whole thing,I took my phone and playing adele's "set fire to the rain",went into the shower to take my bath to chill,thereafter wiped my body dry and went to sleep. About a quarter to 1 am,I got a call from Karl to inform me they had just arrived at the club and wanted to let me know,I was so sleepy,I just managed to look at the time as I grimaced from the phone light hitting my sleepy eyes at close range and went back to sleep but I couldn't sleep comfortably as I sensed my bladder was full and I needed to release the urine, I thought,I won't get any sleep unless I stand up and go to the toilet,I lazily stood up and walking in the dark with the aid of my phone's torchlight,I went to the toilet and as the urine emptied from my scrotum,I felt an ease that was so soothing as I moaned over the relief it brought me. I thought I heard some noise from the sitting room,like the sound from the tv,I tried to remember if I turned off the tv or not the previous night and the thought of going downstairs to turn it off and climb back up made me fear at losing my sleep but it was something I had to do,I walked back to my bed,sat at the edge of the bed dozing,still thinking If I should sacrifice my sleep and go downstairs or just leave the huge plasma on and will it goodluck,as I contemplated what to do,yet so sleepy and dozing as the sleep got more intoxicating,I heard channels changing from one to another and I sprang up, "who could be in the parlour," I thought, I turned on the light as I quickly covered my eyes for a few seconds for my eyes to gradually get accostumed to the bright light,then I looked around for what I could pick and went to grab a cobweb broom and opening the door slowly,went downstairs to hit whoever the intruder it was that had the nerve to sit on our sofa clicking and changing channels and getting comfortable,as I descended the stairs slowly,I saw it was Mom, I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly,Mom turned back and asked what was wrong,I told her I wanted to be sure no intruder was in the house as I heard the tv from my room,she apologised and told me she couldn't sleep again and decided to come downstairs to watch tv,I asked her if all was well and she said she was fine,she smiled and told me I could go back to bed,I smiled back and bid her goodnight,as I climbed back upstairs,she asked me to wait for her to turn off the light and tv as she wanted to go back to her room,I waited for her and we held hands and went upstairs together,meanwhile outside the house,the wind was getting stronger as it seemed as if rain was about to fall,unfortunately either Hamz or QT left the window blinds open and the strong wind blowing up the curtains and scattering papers around in their room threw their room door wide open while mom and I were right at the front of the door on our way to our respective rooms, "OH MY GOD" I exclaimed as at that moment,it seemed as though everything went on slow motion as mom's head gradually turned,turning to look at the door flung open by the strong wind,I quickly jump to resque the situation,I rushed to the door and quickly locked it back,Mom shook her head,wondering why I would do that for them "u should have left it open and let mosquitoes have a nice feast on their bodies,such a loud bang and none of them wakes up to see what it is,what if it were armed robbers,God forbids," she hisses as I smiled nervously,joining in insulting them but adding that I just want to save mom the expense of taking any one of them to the clinic,we said our goodnights and locking the door to my room behind me,I heaved a loud sigh of relief, "that was close" I thought,shook my head and went to sleep.
        I couldn't go back to sleep so I just sat browsing through celeb gossip blogs and when I got tired of that, decided to download porns to watch,I fondled my manhood and really got engrossed with watching some really cool porns until I slept off,the videos playing over and over as I left the phone just by my head and slept off on the bed. I had no idea when day light broke but I know Mom woke me up and when I woke up,she looked intently at me face,her face stern and as I was "booting" from hours of sleep,I was also wondering why she was staring at me funny,she asked me if I was fully awake and I thought "here we go again,chastising me for not waking early enough to pray" instead she flashed my phone at my face, "PORN MAJEED! SERIOUSLY" instantly I was fully awake and stammering,my johnny still not fully recovered from its early morning hard on as I tried to stylishly tuck it between my thighs,mom won't believe its the usual male hard ons and not as a result of the porn,as I woke up and dashed for my kettle to do ablution,Mom came at me,pulled my ear and asked if I won't go and perform the cleansing bath before I pray, "....er but mom,I di..d..nt....I didn't release anything" I stammered, "ofcourse u didn't" she hissed loudly and demanded I go straight to the bathroom for the cleansing bath and while I was in the bathroom,I remembered my brothers weren't back from the club and I knew she would want to go into their room to wake them up for prayers, "OH MY GOD" I exclaimed as I ran out of the shower in my tiny briefs and out of my room to theirs to see if she hadn't gone in already,she was outside her room already performed her ablution to pray,she looked at me in briefs with my semi-hard on and my toothbrush in my foamy mouth and asked if I was well,"yesh" the yes came out that way as I stood,looking stupid,she hissed and called out," HAAAMZA,QATARI, AMIIIIR,TIME TO WAKE UP AND PRAY" she said,making her way to their room, "OH NO" I thought "what am I to do" I started dancing to distract her further and blocking her way to the room, "MAJ,ARE U SURE U R ALRIGHT" she asked sternly,pushed me off the way and opened the door....KEEP UP

Happy Easter

This is wishing everyone a happy easter celebration,jesus is the reason for the season,make his death and resurrection worth it,from all of us in the Adagiri family,Mom,QT,Karl,Hamz and my humble self Maj...even the Adagiri matriarch is waving from behind...lol...#kidding, we say happy easter celebrations,God bless!

Friday 18 April 2014

Your mails

Hey amazeballs, thanks for all your messages which I've found inspiring,critiquing,funny etc,I receive so much messages every week its so much work going through them,so as the usual practice,I post some of the frequently asked questions and some other questions as I can manage to answer for all to see! For those who wanna reach me directly,the email is abdulmajeed4real@yahoo.co.uk or abdulmajeed4luv@gmail.com ,usually I take questions on facebook but whew! Its so much work taking questions on there,but those on my FB list can still ask their questions through FB. Thanks for ur love. Below are some of the questions I've received from fans and my responses...Love...Maj


Q- I love ur writeups maj,its really cool,truly seems like d male version of the kardashians,nothing overtly exaggerated,relatable and funny and most importantly, so nigerian,but I've been meaning to ask u,how do ur brothers feel about the whole writeup,don't they feel sorta exposed and open as u reveal all about your lives- Natalie A

A- Lol,thanks dear for the sweet compliments and as for my brothers,well,they find it trivial and unnecessary but nonetheless don't mind me writing about us,I love writing,so if it makes me happy,they r cool...aren't they just so sweet? :)

Q- Maj,ur writing is superb,am also a writer and am really impressed by ur talent,the descriptions are vivid,the stories are relatable and u make stories surrounding men fun to read,as we all know,guy stories aren't so much fun to read unless it has to do with crime stories,keep it up bro- Ibrahim O

A- Thanks ibrahim,am humbled,responses like these urges me on,am glad u find it entertaining,thanks.

Q- Wasup man! I really love ur stories,I've been following ur stories from facebook and ur move to blog is commendable,though I think ur posts on facebook has been more drama filled,interesting and suspense filled,ur stories on blog so far,though interesting,hasn't been jaw-dropping so far,wasup na,no shocking drama so far in d adagiri family? - Akawor D

A- Hahaha,Goodness me,u are so funny,so for ur own relaxation,u feast on our family drama for ur spot of entertainment,anyway,am glad we could entertain u, anyway as u know in every family,there r times when drama seems unending and there r times when everything seems calm,I guess its one of those times but u would agree with me the stories on blog have been quite d drama

Q- Hello man,I recently started reading ur posts and honestly I found them funny and ingenious,are ur stories true?- Bola F

A- Its a reality "show" in writing,so yes,most of it is true but a very little part in some cases r fiction and also parts where dates were written have been changed

Q- Maj,weldone,u really trying,but its about time u come up with a professional promotional pictures,plssssss! - Cynthia A

A- Aww! Thanks dear for ur concern,the real problem is getting my brothers to see this as beyond something trivial or just a hobby I would get over,they don't take me seriously

Q- I've followed ur writeups and I love it but don't u fear some unscrupulous individuals might wanna steal ur concepts and make into a movie?- Nathan J

A- Thanks man,I've thought about it and a lot of people have mailed me expressing same feelings but really I have a huge following and a lot of people can attest to it that this is my concept and thinking about it,its not something u can easily make into a movie cos movies have a beginning,conflict,climax n anti-climax,my stories are inter-twined and can only work for episodic viewing,nonetheless whoever steals it would only make me famous

Q- It is my prayer that u would become famous and rich through ur writeups,u r talented,u've developed in ur writing ways,u r superb - Afeez H

A- Thanks afeez,am grateful

Q- Hello deary,am nifemi and I love ur stories but I feel like u r lying,yelz,that's what I feel,if u want to prove me wrong,link me with ur brother Karl,I love him -Nifemi F

A- Hahaha,wow nifemi,why Karl and not me?lol,u funny,would let Karl know anyway n if he fancies u,he would contact u

Q- Nawao,u this guy sha,u r weird oo,puting ur family stories out as if its nothing,if I were ur brother,I for don kill u since- Isa K

A- hmmn,thank God u r not my brother, :)

Q- Slow and steady wins the race,so the saying goes,from a humble beginning on FB,uve gone on Blog,by God's grace u would go on tv,print books and all making huge sellers and blockbusters by the grace of God,ur enemies would see u rise to prominence in their life time,u really r trying man,I love ur piece- Henry C

A- Ameeeennnnn oooo,thanks bro


Q- What happens at the end of the whole show?the suspense is killing man- Bolaji O

A- lol,how am I suppose to know,its not a fictional write up that I know the end,its events as it happens n d suspense keeps u interested,thanks for ur love

Q- I love ur brothers physique,y don't u gym as well and shouldn't u conduct an interview with ur brothers for fans of #kuwda to atleast hear them speak,we fans hear d story through u,we should hear from them through an interview,lolz,what do u think- Bimpe M

A- hmmmmn,that's a good idea,would try and work on it n about physique,well I love me d way I am n also I think all of us gyming would make the brothers rather perfectionists,they should have a weak link,the odd one out,I love people who work out but I don't hv d time or energy,but ironically,am d cutest,aren't I? *winks*

Q- Who is the kim amongst u brothers?- Jide O

A- Hahaha! Ummmmn! I don't kno,I guess me,whew! Time to make a sextape,lolz

Q- Hey man,u need massive promotional duties oo,ur stuff is genius,u shd contact linda ikeji na- Jide L


A- Lol,I wouldn't mind if u can make it happen

Q- young man,I love ur piece,its really a nice concept but it has to be more controversial,more explicit,more thought-provoking and more comedic,I kno its reality but ur family is one crazy family,I would love to meet u guys- Mr Dan

A- Awww! Thanks Mister,am grateful


Q- I imagine ur blog generating so much traffic like linda does,I pray u get that and more,u deserve it,thanks for sharing ur talent with us- Maryam P

A- Thanks dear,am grateful and I say amen

Thursday 10 April 2014

Family reunion 4

Hell hath no fury lk a woman scorned....so the saying goes,but it is also an old adage that says a woman's problem is another woman,on this fateful day,the whether was quite clement,she sat on her bed tucking her legs into her stilettos as her long hair tumbled over her bare shoulders and back in messy curls,Mom had always dressed fab whenever she was going to give a presentation at office meetings or meeting people for the first time or going for a feline cat fight as it was today,she believed it boosts her confidence and creates a certain fear in her "opponents", "Mom,all these are unnecessary" Hamz who strolled into Mom's room in a tank top and "kukere" jeans opined, Mom sighed, looked up and said its the downside to being an Adagiri, "I hate ur father's family,they r draining me but to protect ur trust funds,I hv to maintain an appearance at the reunions" she said with another sigh, there was nothing we all could do than to watch her dress up,she stood up to apply her loose powder at the lighted mirror on the wall when we heard a soft knock on the mahogany door,we looked at each other as Karl went to get the door,standing at d doorway was Ubaida Adagiri, Mom's sister-in-law,looking well dressed in her lace gown,she smiled at Karl and without being told to come in,she briskly walked in,looking all around for Mom and asking where she is,Mom quickly grabbed for her wrapper and tied around her boobs as she was only putting on her victoria's secret uplift bra and black leggings,Ubaida came into the room,greeted Mom pleasantly and sat down at the edge of her expansive bed, "Mama QT,don't u think all this is stretching for just tooo long,this silly woman we call our mother-in-law keeps threatening us,traumatising us,making us leave our jobs,risking getting fired at our places of work,making our lives hell, am tired and I see it in ur eyes that u r also tired and of all of us,u've been the only one brave enough to stand up to her on several occasion,we need to combine forces and stand up against her,am beyond fed up" ,Mom who kept dressing up,smiled, "well I don't kno what we can do other than endure this reunions and go on to our respective homes and lives,its not so much to start a drama over" Mom replied trying to maintain a diplomatic stand,u never can trust women anyway,Ubaida stood up,stamping her feet annoyingly and lamenting over the ordeal she's suffered in the hands of the Adagiri matriarch,saying she couldn't take it no more,while they were at it,I kept acting like I wasn't listening to what they were saying,pinging away,chatting with my friend tuby who was having some family drama of his own and jamal inundating me with gists about how he's balling in lagos,Mom still trying to play the whole thing down suggested they just be patient and try not to react whenever the matriarch starts with one of her threats or outbursts, Maryam Adagiri,another sister-in-law to mom and one of our late uncle's wife also tricked in,one by one,all the Adagiri wives were in Mom's room and they all agreed that they had had enough of their monster-in-law's ordeals,Mom was beginning to feel a sense of responsibility to lead the women to the promise land,ever the amazon,lol,her head began to "swell" as the other women encouraged and praised her for her strength and boldness,Mom should have known better
       The Adagiri wives,all cladded in their killer heels,louboutons,war paints of makeup and hair styled to perfection all descended the stairs to have a meeting with the matriarch and other well placed extended relatives of the Adagiri family,the matriarch had ensured the women all look well dressed and look smashing for such meetings as the local press are always on hand to cover such events and report to all and sundry that one of our hometown's big familes are still intact and looking fabulous. The meeting started in earnest and as usual,dad's mom barked orders,rules and generally terrorized the women,Mom cleared her throat,stood up and asked the matriarch to shut it, "WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS?,she shouted, "ALL U DO IS MAKE OUR LIVES HELL,OVER WHAT,HUH? DOES IT MAKE U HAPPY WHEN U DO THAT?ALL UR 9 SONS DIED IN UR LIFETIME ,RATHER THAN PULL US THEIR WIDOWS CLOSE,U THREATEN US,MAKING US REALISE WHOEVER REMARRIES FORFEITS WHATEVER INHERITANCE DUE TO HER,HOW MUCH IS THIS FUCKING INHERITANCE WORTH ANYWAY", everyone quieten down,grams looked totally aghast,the 8 sisters-n-law all avert their gaze,Mom looked around her,there was no support or looks of reassurance,she knew immediately she was alone,but rather than shiver,she looked up bravely,grams stood up,laughed mischievously and ordered Mom out of her house,mom defiantly walked out of her presence,came upstairs and announced to us we've been sent packing,without much ado,we packed our stuffs and happily went out of the palatial home and as we shut the door,we heard her shouting to the rest of the women,we were just glad to be out,but we knew we haven't heard the last of our paternal grandmother! Whew! we boarded our car,onwards to the federal capital, KEEP UP

Tuesday 1 April 2014

Family reunion 3

Aaliyah sat,perched on a stool like a goddess in flowing beige gown that draped over her hot body, her silhouette visible as the wind blowing from a standing fan beside her made the gown cling to her curves, her long weave blew beautifully,I stood by her door which was open and stuck there,couldn't muster the courage to go in,she was totally oblivious of my presence,I must have stood there forever when Aaliyah's brother who is my pal pushed me in,I was really upset at his action but Aaliyah had already turned in a startled state and saw us,with her mouth turned at the corners,giving me a condescending look,she asked me sternly what I wanted,I decided to channel my lovestruck look,looking forlorn and sheepishly in love,I knelt in front of her as I tried to hold her hands but she quickly withdrew her hand,I apologised and gave her lots of excuses why things have been the way they are and she should try and see reasons but nonetheless,I've been a coward and haven't been man enough to come forward and express how I truly feel about her,she kept shaking her head stylishly,trying to feign annoyance,I really wanted to laugh but I reaaaalllly fought it back,I begged and begged and even explained am suppose to be on my way to our hometown at that moment but risked Mom's wrath to be with her. After what seemed like forever,she made me promise never to treat her the way I did before and also professed her affections for me,I blushed and averted my gaze like a male virgin being asked out by a girl, she held up my chin as we move in for a kiss when "TAN TAN TAN",the loud sound of my ringing phone broke up the moment and I instantly knew I was in trouble, "OH MY GOD,ITS MY MOM" I exclaimed as I hurriedly pecked her on the cheeks and dashed out as she came running after me but I couldn't wait,I ran outside,flagged down a bike man and didn't wait to negotiate the price of the fare as he took me home
           At home,Mom kept insulting my brothers for trying to cover for me as all couldn't say specifically where I went and what for,pacing back and forth,she tried my number for the umpteenth time as I didn't pick,Karl and Hamz all pretended to be trying me,at that moment,I walked in into our compound,at sighting me,she shouted at me,demanding to know where I went knowing fully well we had a trip,I apologised and lied I went to give back something I borrowed from a friend n I only remembered I hadn't returned it that morning,we all entered the new car as QT kept grinning behind the wheel,obviously at the thought of driving the new car,Hamz jokingly poked him over and over again,Mom asked for silence as we prayed for journey mercies,QT started the car and we zoomed off.
      The journey went well and we slept off most of the time,though we stopped on the way so Karl would take over from QT and drove us,that meant QT had to stay awake to direct him,I smiled as I tucked myself well into the car seat and slept some more,delighted over my luck at neither driving nor directing. We got to our hometown and met some of our aunties and cousins also arriving,as usual,the matriarch of the ADAGIRI dynasty came out looking happy and radiant,her gold teeth symbolising her trip to the holy land catching the rays of the sun and reflecting all around,she hugged us and completely ignored Mom,it wasn't new,infact,it was the norm such that if she ever greeted Mom,she consults her islamic cleric to ensure her greetings didn't have a sinister motive,I've always wanted to talk some sense into dad's mom but Mother sternly warned me against it,"I don't want to loose u" she would say, everyone is particularly fond of Karl and the family all gathered,fussing around him as I picked up our luggage and going into the big family house,Mom exchanged greetings with her sisters-in-laws and they all complimented her new car,Mom simply smiled and thanked them. Lunch was served and Mom gave us the make-sure-u-pray-before-u-eat look, as we started eating,grams started her zinging,firing Mom first, "so Mama QT,am surprised to see u,didn't u go and marry another rich man?what happened?he divorced u?he must have seen ur true colour,seen u for what u really are,snagging up rich men" she said with so much disgust,Mom looked on,not saying a word,grams continued as all the other wives of grams' sons looked on,eating quietly and not saying a word, "I admit u r very beautiful and u used it to trap my late son,*looking up* oh,oh,oh,death,u wicked angel that brings bad tidings,my son,may ur soul rest in perfect peace, am shocked ur evil ways didn't work with your latest millionaire squeeze,u lowly little thing,I might have to endure having u as a daughter-in-law but trust me,I would make it hell for u" she said,stamping the dining table with her fork to emphasise her statements, Mom simply heaved a long sigh, as she looked lost in thought, *FLASHBACK 23 YEARS AGO*
"Are u sure about me,oh my God,I feel so nervous" Mom a young,beautiful woman then said as dad brought her to meet his mom, "common babe,you would love her,trust me" dad said,holding her hands and leading her into the very expansive home of the Adagiris, "Ahhhhh! My son,oh my son!" Grams exclaims excitedly as seeing her son,Mom promptly knelt down,greeting her would-be future mother-in-law, she welcomed both of them,dad was quite the player until meeting mom changed all that,grams simply thought mom was one of his conquests, "ah my son,this girl is beautiful,she is ehn,u kno,hehehe,the room is free ok,ur dad went to pray,quickly take her in" she said,Dad smiled as Mom looked away smiling,Dad cleared his throat and introduced mom properly, "Em Mom,this is Hajar,I love her so much and she's the girl I intend to spend the rest of my life with,I came to show her to u to receive ur blessings and help rate her,hehe" he beamed with smiles at his achievement, Grams gave Mom a condescending look,smiled wryly as Mom looked at dad's face for some form of reassuring, "who are ur parents?" She asked, "em,thank you man,am from the 3rd clan and my dad is an islamic cleric and a teacher and my mom a seamstress" , grams gave her an icy look that could kill, "am sorry sweetheart,my son has just been deceiving u,he has someone he would marry,its ok if u allow him tap u and dump u but there's no way u r going to marry my son" ,Dad lost his cool,snapping at his mother,insisting he won't be part of her schemes with her friends to network their families and business empires through marriage,that he's in love with Mom and she's well educated,urbane and someone he connects with,Mom and son broke into a heated argument
*REALITY*
Grams kept insulting Mom as Mom looked on,obviously going in n out of thoughts as she kept on thinking about how she ended up with this monster-in-law,Karl cleared his throat and broke in,speaking in pure american twang,asking grams to quit insulting Mom, Grams smiled,placed her elbows on the dining table and leaned forward towards Karl saying "am not a monster she must have portrayed me to be,trust me she's the witch,she's talented in snagging up rich men and killing them,she killed my son, as she welled up some tears and shaking as though she has really suffered a bad fate in her life,Mom who was looking without saying a word drifted back to her thoughts
*FLASHBACK at her wedding*
*the master of ceremony asks the bride to go and sit on her new mother-in-law's laps as the guests and well-wishers clap and cheer as mom coyly stands up and goes to meet her*
Sitting on her laps,they both pretended to be so fond of each other and hugged each other,Grams whispers into Mom's ears, "I asked u not to marry my son and u did,welcome to hell daughter-in-law"
Mom held grams by the shoulder,smiled at her as people continue to cheer and clap on,she hugged grams again and whispered back, "we are both mrs adagiri now and I'm the apple of ur son's eye,u prick me,ur son goes blind,but would I allow that to happen? mother-in-law,never underestimate any girl,I would show u am no push over"
*REALITY*
I gently tapped Mom on her hands to shake her out of her thoughts,she's really battled with her monster-in-law but she's quite tired out but grams isn't relenting,we stood up and left for our rooms,getting there,Mom whipped out some sticks of incense and struck a match,lighted the incense and waved around the room to ward off any bad spirits or evil spells,the other wives of dad's equally late brothers did all sorts of stuffs to wade off bad spirits in their rooms as well,it is that time of the year again when the battle of the sistes-in-law begins, one monster-in-law, 9 sisters-in-law, the Adagiri dynasty as the battle field,it is often said that the problems of a woman is another woman,so let the war begin! KEEP UP